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Children Need to Be Made an Example of on Easter Sunday!Children Will be Dragged By Their Necks Into Parking Lot on Easter!  
A final warning to all Landover parents.
Details For Those Attending the 11 AM Service>

Catholic Children Pelted Unconscious by Baptist Youth Group in Annual Easter EggingHell Bound Catholic Children Hospitalized in Annual Easter Bunny Egging  The Easter Bunny Slaughter For Stew turned near deadly earlier this week. More>  

Demon Possessed Children Will Be Sterilized By Landover Baptist During the Spring Bible Crawl!Spring Bible Crawl Underway! Celebrating over 100-years of sterilizing demon-possessed infants to the Glory of the Lord Jesus Christ! More>!

New Policy for Menstruating Females, In Effect Immediately!New Church Policy for Menstruating Females, In Effect Immediately!  
Filthy women are a health risk, full of contaminants that put church members in immediate danger!  Learn More> 

Spotlight on Easter Sunday With Helpful Easter Recipes, Tips, and Easter Sermons

Unsaved People Are Not Welcome in Our Church on Easter Sunday!Unsaved Still Unwelcome, Especially on Easter Sunday!
"I don't know how many times I've got to say it folks, church is a members only club!" Sermon>

Easter Bunny Beaten to Death By Crowd of Zealous Baptist ChildrenLocal Easter Bunny Bludgeoned to Death!
Pastor held the rabbit by its hindlings and swung it against the wall, spattering the cheering crowd in a coat of fresh little bunny blood!  More>

Traditional Baptist Easter Bunny Stew RecipeEaster Bunny Stew Recipe
2 large Easter Bunnies or 5 little baby bunnies must be clubbed and skinned...
Complete Tasty Biblical Recipe>


Exclusive Supply Cache of Collectible Mormon Underwear From Mitt Romney's Post-Election Apocalypse Family Grain & Storage Silo!
Clicking on the ad above could take you to products not fully endorsed by this Church.

Are Americans So Hooked on Reality TV, They'd Put a Negro Islamic Extremist in the White House?Barack Hussein Obama's Ties To the Nation of Islam The Landover Baptist Department for the Study of Inferior Cultures releases a list of important findings based on reliable Christian hearsay. Learn More> 

Mrs. Betty Bowers is Running For President!Betty Bowers & Her Blessed Blog  America's Best Christian™ comments on current events and political affairs! Glory! Click Here

The Golden Compass and ChristianityThe Golden Compass Vs. The Holy Bible! Compare the dangerously inappropriate ideas in a disgusting film to the healthy ideas children are exposed to in the Holy Bible.  Read More>

Mitt Romney's Hilarious Religious BeliefsMitt Romney's Absolutely Hilarious Religious Beliefs  Mormonism is second only to Scientology as the wackiest cult Lucifer ever boiled up in the lava bubbles of the Lake of Fire!  Read More>


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JANUARY 2008 @ -LANDOVERBAPTIST.NET & MORE!

Baptists For Republican Faith!  Praise Jesus!  
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Work Begins on 2008 Christian Voter's Guide  
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Journey With Us Through the Bible in a Year! 
Click Here to Learn> Bible Based SexBaptist Sexuality  
Satan is making your soft, inviting body HIS business!  Stop his wandering red claws from tickling your fancy! More!>


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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

MAY GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL!
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