Landover Baptist Mail Received June 2000  (unedited and in original form)

Hello Pastor,
I am writing this to you with a sick heart.  I cannot believe that my God allows sick humans such as yourself to walk among us and claim to love Him.I am a United Christian and have been taught to respect and love others, as well as treating others how I would like to be treated.  Obviously, these life affirming rules have skipped over you and your congregation and anyone naive enough to listen to you.  How can you be so blind?I visited your website after reading your adaptation of the Disney movie "Dinosaur".  Your review was sent to me via email and I was asked to read it because it was so funny.  Yes, all of that hard work (pardon the pun) was defeated in a spout of laughter among colleagues.  People are not finding your work to be life changing or intriguing, but funny-hysterical even.I wanted to learn more about the "person" (loose translation of course) that spent all that time meticulously calculating the many sexual positions used in the children's movie, so I ended up on your website.  It was there that I truly discovered the warped sense of reality that you possess.  I find it very strange that a grown man would attend this movie only to come out with his "head" filled with so many pornographic images and then document them in this way.  It is my conclusion that you, sir, are a sex addict.
The first step is to admit that you have a problem.  There are many programs out there to reverse this problem and maybe your church could start one to help those in the community like yourself.  As I read in your "Dinosaur" article, you have fellow congregation "members" that helped you figure out all of the 200 sexual positions that you could get plastic figures into.  I'm sorry to tell you this sir, but you need to know the 200 positions to be able to replicate them.  Maybe you should be "immediately enrolled in Mrs. Betty Bowers' C.A.S.H. Ministries as a preventative measure". I am also wondering how and when you became such a racist?  Do you even own a Bible?  Have you read it?  Do you understand it?  Obviously not, or you would know that Jesus was Jewish.  I find it very offensive that you are so
ignorant to others.  How dare you categorize yourself among us Christians.  You sir, are a bigot and are not worthy of molding yourself in Christ's name.

In closing, I would like to remind you that God's Will will be done.  You may prance around claiming that you've got the whole world in your hands, but your day of judgement will come.  I just hope that you continue to dissect movies like you have, so that we can continue to laugh at your lame attempts at redemption.
Lauren MacDonald  KYLE WHITELAW  

I find your comments in the article about the Disney film Dinosaur disturbing. I would say you guys need to quit sticking your noses where they don't belong....first of all no one forced you to go see this movie...second I have been a Baptist all my life and I was not raised to make little things into examples of homosexuality...that is not going to send you to hell just then so i mean it isn't that you shouldn't care, but by your article many other people are going to go see it just because of you...i know how Baptists can be..."oh my gosh you would not believe it you have to go see such and such they are so ungodly." well by you doing this you are just starting a fire that God himself is ashamed of!!!!

Why is it that all of you zealots go so overboard about this? These are innocent children's films, children do not see these things in the films. Only people with dirty minds who are looking for something perverse will interpret that from the film. Open up your closed minds.....not everyone in the world has evil intentions

Women don't have souls?,perhaps some of us don't given so many of us are always spouting non-sense.I see, however, a flaw in your reasoning,

1.Didn't God say EVERYTHING He created was GOOD? so that must include women as well as the devil, gays and cancer.

2.We all know how full of lust men are, they will even do the "nasty" with sheep,cows and anything else they can catch that has a hole without teeth in it. Without women to "entertain" them, they will be forced into that intolerable single vice of, GASP!!,  MASTURBATION!!!!

To save our men from this awful fate, women must be allowed into heaven,soul or not to keep the men from performing "sins against nature and God".
When we aren't "entertaining" the men, we could stay with the other animals and "entertain" them.

Sincerely    Sheila, a sinner.
sheila l.chambers  

Sir, I am in such total shock over reading your article about what the dr. thinks. I am a women and a Baptist . I am in no way associated with such ignorant beliefs and I can only pray that this man not convience anyone of his ignorance. I have a close relationship with my God and I read my bible. Yes, we were made, after man , for his companship. But ,if the Dr. were right , then why didn't God just make something  say like a robot ,with no feelings only actions which of course these actions would be only those directed by man himself ? I have never read anywhere in my Bible where it says only men have souls and not women. Is the Dr. saying that Mary,the chosen mother of Christ , is not setting side by side with her son in heaven? I am so sad for such misleading words! Revalations is indeed being fulfilled! Remember God said in the last days there will be antichrist proclaiming to preach God's word. You have my prayers.

Robbie Anderson  

After recently reading your review on the children's animated film: "Dinosaurs", I was amazed at the statements made. Now I admit, I have not seen this movie, but my questions are directly to the roots of your argument.I believe the gist of this review was to basically warn parents about the way this film may be subliminally intrepreted by children. But I'm wondering how you can make such blatent statements in contradiction to the other Christian Review you have linked to the exact page. Also, I'm supposing that you know that this movie is highly fictional, so I'm wondering how a movie could be considered awful, just because that it doesn't include very many Christian overtones? All citizens of America have a right to religious faith, just as your article has the right of speech. Including Christian morals and values would then infringe upon those who don't value the same morals and values-thus offending their religion. I myself am of the Christian faith as well, but I am also an American and therefore understand the rights each and every person has. And making such radical statements about Hollywood and evil is a definite way to drive away possible converters. I felt that the review could've gotten your message through by being a little more concise on what about the film troubled you and a lot
less offensive. Who knows, maybe some Baptist Christians even helped contribute to the production of this movie. I do not care what you do with this message, disregard it if you like, but then you are only hurting yourself in your disregard of the voice of the people.

David Olsen, a Christian and an American
David Olsen  

Hello pastor!

I really appreciate the grassroots approach that your website uses and its unwavering stance on important issues such as gun control and homosexuality. However, as a fellow believer I am somewhat concerned over your exclusion of nonbelievers. Jesus said in Matthew 9:12, "It is not the healthy who need a docotr, but the sick." By being overtly hostile to nonbelievers, you may be defeating the purpose of having a church in the first place. In verse 13, Jesus goes on to say, "For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." I hope you understand that it is important to embrace the unsaved and many portions of your website do exactly the opposite. Thank you for considering these words.

Uncle Dick  

you are so fucking crazy,you are out of your fucking mind
Tim Woodward  

after I read tour review on the movie Dinosaur, there is only one thing I have to say : "Who the fuck do yo think you are!?". Do you sincerely think that Disney, the world known children dream makers, would push kids into the world of SEX. Get real and stop looking for bad things and start enjoying movies for what they are and not whith the idea that they want to brainwash the kids. I am going to give you a simple example: i've seen plenty of movies involving dinosaur when I was
younger, and they never encourage me to become a freak! Yes I had sex before mariage and I still do even tough I am not engaged. But seeing an animal saying hello never rushed me into sexual acts. And for my final word!   You are only crazy sons of bitches! If god intended us to live, don't take the life of your children away by
blindfolding them!

I'm pissed, get a psychiatrist.
Marc-André Cartier 

Your organization is twisted and evil...desperately in need of a reality check. Please get a life instead of destroying others.
Stephen Durman 

I read the article on your site about Disney's new movie Dinosaurs.  All I can say is that while I was reading it, I had a very good laugh.  I have never read anything more ridiculous in my entire life.  It's amazing the things people hunt for in a harmless movie as well as something to gripe about in these movies and toys.

Why would people spend all that time trying to find over 200 sexual positions on a happy meal toy?  It sounds to me like they are the ones with the messed up minds.

I am a Christian and a member of a Baptist church, but I don't see why people waste their time on things like this and reading things into movies, toys, etc.  It seems like people at my church as well as others always have to find some issue or create one.

The thing is people are only reading about this and the ridiculous things that are said in articles like these and pointing and laughing.  No wonder people don't want to have anything to do with church or Christianity.  The charges against this movie, as well as others in the past, just makes asses out of all of us.

Diana Sparks, college student


My name is Julie Jones.  My husband and I have a Liquidation business where we find large quantities of excess merchandise at a very good price.

We have found a way to use the blessing of this business to help other churches to raise money.

If you would like to hear from us about this, please let us know.

God Bless,

Julie and Jason Jones
Lakeside Missionary Baptist Church

First allow me to freely disregard a your disclaimer that have the right to do anything with this e-mail. Nor can any of this be held against me as I speak of my own free will and mind, and express my thoughts as granted me in the first amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America and of the free will which God himself granted all living beings.

    For starters anyone who would dare be so arrogant as to call themselves "The Largest, Most Powerful Assembly Of Worthwhile People To Ever Exist." are
people who need a little bit of the humbleness that the lord spoke so highly of. Knowing that 125,000 have been suckered into believing that God only saves those who someones says he saves sickens me wholeheartedly. The belief that any man be held greater in Gods eyes because he pays more or goes to a certain church is very funny. It is obvious to me that you have never had any contact with anything holy, except those whom taught your faith or the good books you have corrupted.

    As I looked upon your campus I noticed a striking resemblance to the chapels and cathedrals in England during the dark ages. When they believed that the higher their minerets rose towards the sky, the closer they believed they were to God. This was also a time when the leaders of the faith were arrogant, greedy, petty and cruel. As I walk about the Earth I have noticed a resurgance of this attitude is consuming the Catholic and Christian Faith. Did you know that outside you sheltered and closed minds people regard anyone of this faith (except themselves, whom they consider perfect) as hypocritical, paranoid and overbearing of what they feel is right. Guess again.

    I have been across, my friend. I have seen things that you could only dream of and will not see again until you are dead and your soul is sent a heaven you taught so much about but knew nothing of. All are saved, friend. You need to read your bible again and allow your soul to free itself. The bible is not just a story book or a group of morality lessons. It is a door. A door that you have spent so much time adoring that you never seemed to open.

    So I will show you a path my friend. A path that can help you. Goodly people do NOT condemn their fellow man. Goodly people do NOT their scraps of money or material possessions before the Lord. That Lord which you speak of is a good and kind Lord that forgives, whether you leave a donation or not. The light is there. There are two sides my friend, light and dark. The light and dark have been named many things by the surrounding cultures who called these names "religion". Now with culture evolving into a cruel and heartless world, it seems that religion now plays to the crowd instead of the Lord. It sickens me to have to repremand a man of the cloth, but worry not, yours is not alone. I am now on a crusade which was handed me a long time ago, but my fear in what it meant kept me from it.

Remeber, the meak shall inherate the Earth

Thomas S. Leverenz

You fucking suck you piece of Satan's shit!!!!! Yes that's what you are. Satan decided to take a dump and out came you!!!!

To those whom it might Concern-   Get a Life- Leave People Alone  Guess what Your the corrupt ones, How dare you make a simple Disney Movie your damn soap box. You got a life- Hello - Then live it and leave innocent people and companies alone.  I work 40 hour + a week and People like you make me mad. You sit at home And find things wrong with Everything- GET A JOB and contribute to the World.  You know it's a better place in the world if there wasn't  people putting the nose into something that's none thier  business.  It's nice to be nice, quit hiding behind the chuch-   This coaltion isn't any different than the Witch Hunt's Of       Salem or Hitler ( there's some good company you can be with).  Let people Be.
Alison Rummel

In your review of the film Dinosaur your website publishes an enormous amount of paranoid content, making references to large amounts of satanic activity and sex throughout the film. I brought a friend's child to the film and i saw no such "evil" acts of a grotesque and sexually deviant nature as you suggest. It is extremely over analytical of you to assume that everyone working on that film is a homosexual trying to spread the message that homosexual acts are fine. Furthermore, you (or whomever wrote that particular article) dare to say what is the will of God... that this movie is against God. Such comments are completley unfounded and it is an insult to faith for any human to assume what is God's reaction in such petty matters. You are not God, you do not speak for God. On a final note your advisory warning stating that you can alter messages and post them is extremely dishonest and corrupt. Such a warning can only indicate that you have every intention of distorting messag!
es that do not coincide with your opinion. In conclusion, providing that you respond to this message please spare me the barrage of insults I found on your website. If you are truly a pastor you will act accordingly and justly defend your side without your profane comments.

Jim Pugliese

You are all going to Hell! You are not saved, you are all psycho-paths & maybe someday you will realize how stupid and ignorant you all sound. Get a clue & actually read the bible! Where in the world does it say that wearing purple makes you a homosexual?  Geez, may The Lord Jesus Christ have mercy on your soul's.
Jennifer Bowcutt 

jesus would disaprove of your website you are promoting hatred   is that what you  want  that is not the christian way  christ way was love and understanding  please reconcider your position  i am a baptist and would not welcome your views in our church  repent now  may jesus have mercy on your wicked soul
Steve Murray 

While I happen to agree with your stand on Jar Jar Binks, this does not excuse the idiocy perpetrated in every aspect of your web site.

"Unsaved NOT welcome!" is the slogan thrown about with no regard for the teachings of your christ figure.

Aren't you people supposed to help people see the light? To ASSIST them in becoming "saved"? You must get a huge charge out of saying "I'm saved, everyone else is going to hell."

Enjoy your delusional self-gratification while you can, because if your God actually does exist, he's going to be mighty angry with you when you hit the pearly gates.

Padin Fain
Padan Fain

To whom it may concern:

     I am an athiest. I wanted to know how it is that you people have enough time on your hands to set around and dream this blasphamy up.  It worries me that you have nothing else better to do.  I just want to say that you uneducated rednecks need to set down and shut up.  Oh by the way do you worship comets?

A concerned individual
Nicholas Thackston

To whom it may concern,

I think what I just read is the sickest review I have ever read. You all need to re read the bible. Judge not, lest ye be judged!!!

You have left your entire organization open to judgment and I for one can say I'm PROUD not be a member of your church and feel VERY SORRY for the children
being raised by parents within your organization.


Hitler. Nah not good enough. Haha you little fascist bastards. I cant find anyone WORSE THAN YOU. now whats this about women not having souls. My mom says ur a bunch of FUCKING HEAD CASES. My brother says that you are insane bastards and would like to kill each and everyone of you. And the toy jarjar thing Hehe i thought that was cool that you could french a lizard Hehe. and that nun lady that said black people didnt have souls. Well now Have you EVER HEARD THEM IN CHURCH PRAISEING EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING TRYING TO SOLVE PROBLEMS???? HAVE YOU ??? Well and also that whore BETTY BOWERS saying that anyone that wears a te-shirt with a full sentance on it is going to hell.....WELL GUESS WHAT YOUR TE-SHIRT SAYS GET UR ASS TO CHURCH! A FULL SENTANCE YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HELL HAHAHAHAHAHA. and BSB is bad? Wow I gotta start listening to them more. I ussally listen to Static X and PM5K and RobZombie. HMMM the way that you talked about them made them look like the anti-christ. I have many baptist friends and they were laughing so loud at you guys that you could hear it down the whole intire street. Houses under 2 million HAHAHAHAHAHAHA JESUS WANTS YOU TO TAKE A STEAM ROLLER AND PUT UR WALLET UNDERNEATH IT HAHAHA. JESUS SAYS VOTE BUSH-- or should I say ELECT HITLER FOR NEW GOVERMENT!!!! A gun in everyhome how horable. I will tell this site to all the officals i can find. BUT WAIT IM NOT DONE. Make homos pay for there sin? uhh excuse me isnt there a law against that? HMMMM. And that cross that u said they put on the moon in 79? THEN WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO PUT ANOTHER ON??? WELL AND NEAL ARMSTRONG WAS JEWISH AND HE IS SALUTING the CROSS?? OMG you guys suck! and that was just a paint program that you used on that. And the movie Man on the mooN???? OMG THATs A TITLE OF A MOVIE. And Acctully I think aliens landing on the earth and planting DNA in the ground is a better theroy than Adam and eve. And also one of my best friends is a homo and guess what HES A BOY SCOUT TROOP MASTER. HE IS RETIRED FROM THE US MILITARY. Haha you talk like the world is all BAPTIST like you SLIM FILITH AND DIRT. those are your BIG priciples. And whats with this lucifer/and god touching god thing I really dont get that. AND WHATS WITH YOU KILLING
Vandike Hopperfiend 

You have got to be the most disgusting human on the face of this planet. This church that you pride yourself on being apart of is a discrace to the name of Jesus Christ. How dare you condemn the unsaved. How dare you condemn other Christians. This is the complete opposite of what Jesus would do. How do you even call yourselves Christians with this attitude. I see more demons in your website and in your beliefs than I do in any movie. Your occultic beliefs sicken me. The idea that clothes mean anything violtes the Word of God that you claim to believe in. How about reading Matthew 6:28 "And why worry about your clothes? Look at the field lilies! They don't worry about theirs". You condemn the world for what they do, when you are condemning youreselves by your own beliefs. It is a disgusting things to say men are superior to women. All that says to me is "Pride" which is the most destructive force in the universe. There is so much pride in your church, it is a surprise that your precious buildings are still standing. I pray that the hand of God comes down and crushes you. You bring a bad name to your "brother AND sister" Christians. There is so much hatred within your church. I cannot even begin to describe my disgust at your beliefs. they make my stomach hurt just to think that I bear the same title as you. Your title should be "filth" becaue that is what you are. Or how about "Hypocrite", "Brood of Vipers", "Heathen", "Demon", "Satan", or "Pharisee." All of these descibe you. You are not even close to the title "Saint", "Righteous", "Saved", or "Christian." I hope someday I can come to your "church" and pray over it for the blood of Christ to come down. Maybe then will you see your darkness. Maybe I can convince some of your "zombie" followers to actually come to Christ and see His grace and Forgiveness. I just pray that you don't lead them in a mass suicide before I get there. I have seen less disgusting material in pornographic stores then in your "church".

Praying that you see the Light of Jesus Christ and humbly bow before the
mighty hand of God and beg for His mercy

Matt F.

Somehow, by the grace of the God you love so much, I stumbled across your website and found it to be of utmost hilarity. As much as I enjoy it, however, I do have one small complaint...

I would like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent person with a fairly intelligent sense of humor, and that among the different forms of humor, wit and sarcasm are the most intelligent. The only problem lies when, as I was reading through your mailbag, people don't seem to understand the humor involved.

You might want to consider placing a disclaimer someplace on the site, such as a fine-print addendum at the bottom of the homepage: "Not to be taken seriously."

Otherwise, the site is well-kept and shall be often visited by myself.

A poor, unsaved soul,

To whom it may concern,

    In the June 2000 Landover Baptist Church website, I noticed some inaccuracies in your Disney's Dinosaur review.  In the future make sure your article is researched before printed.  The following inaccuracies belittle the impact you are trying to make.

    1.  Disney's Dinosaur is a PG rated film, not G.
    2.  Not once in the movie did the character have any sexual relations
with any other dinosaur.  Not even a kiss was exchanged.
    3.  At several points in this film, the main character's sex was
identified as a male.
    4.  The "monkey-birds" you referred to in the movie are in fact lemurs.
Lemurs are a full primate, and have at no time had wing-like features.  Never
once in the movie did they fly.
    5.  The lemurs rode on the backs and necks of any dinosaur, not once
riding on the dinosaurs "anus".
    6.  Burger King has nothing to do with promoting Disney's Dinosaur.  The
promotion is helmed by McDonald's.
    7.  As in the movie, only the lemur toys can attach to the backs of the
other dinosaur toys.  These toys do not have male members, and cannot be
attached  to the mouth or anus of the other toys.

    With all these inaccuracies, it is obvious the author never saw the movie.  In the future, please have the decency to complete the research before attempting to send out your message.  Thank you.

Robert Mason

I would like to begin by saying that it is my express personal opinion that you must be a FUCKING IDIOT! You people are wackos....get some help. God, jesus........the devil, do not exist! how does that affect you? Well, there aint going to be no salvation for you mindfucked people when the feds hand you your ass! You are a bunch of terrorist, america doesnt need your bullshit so stuff it!

 ~Someone with a clue
f u

Deborah Hill

Your church makes god look bad. I hope someone kills you and you get sent to hell

Well, Well welly welly well, lets see here.  You have a very nice site from what I can see, unfortunately the content is a little off kilter.  Sounds like you bastards are making a mint off of the actual god-fearing people, what with all of the fines and all.

I have a question, if I may, how is it that you are supposed to "bring one new guest to church a week" and "win one soul a week" if they are not to "association with Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons, Methodists, Unitarians, Episkypols,"  seems to me that most everyone will be getting a fine, if not for the no-soul crap, then certainly for the association with the devils that the other religions must conjure up.

Sounds like a big scam to me, and do you have a weird old lady with blue hair somewhere in your ministry??  Because on every Christian TV program I have
seen, there's always one running around.

I feel bad for the kids, especially the one that was punished for the JarJar candy that his MOM bought for him, if he can't trust his mommy, who can he

Thank you.

have you ever heard of a "spiritual gift" called seeing in the spirit?  my son & his wife have become involved with a group that is practicing this. i am concerned because it seems to me almost predicting the future.  certain members of the group claim to see angels and evil spirits and visions concerning others and actions they are to take. my son lives in a country town some distance away.  i have no personal contact with this group.  i have been a christian since early teens & have never heard of this "gift" nor with my walk with the lord have felt the need for any other gifts than what the scriptures mentions. i would appreciate your comments

I consider myself not only an outstanding citizen, but a very  right winged republican. But when I saw your artical on the jar jar " sex toy", I think you are absolutly out of your tits! You need to get a life and clue. Please realize that any toy can be used during sex as a tool. I see pornagraphic images all the time of woman shuving pieces of fruit in them selves! and apples and all sorts of vegitation... Doees that bean I should boycott vegitation and stores that sell it??? Please guide me in the right direction because with out you and your church us poor lost souls would have no idea what we are doing...I really hopoe that paragraph I read was a joke, because if it was not I want to say...

Get a life idiot!
cyrax sector