Landover Baptist Mail Received
June 2000 (unedited and in original form)
I am writing this to you with a sick heart. I cannot believe
that my God allows sick humans such as yourself to walk among us and claim
to love Him.I am a United Christian and have been taught to respect and
love others, as well as treating others how I would like to be treated.
Obviously, these life affirming rules have skipped over you and your congregation
and anyone naive enough to listen to you. How can you be so blind?I
visited your website after reading your adaptation of the Disney movie
"Dinosaur". Your review was sent to me via email and I was asked
to read it because it was so funny. Yes, all of that hard work (pardon
the pun) was defeated in a spout of laughter among colleagues. People
are not finding your work to be life changing or intriguing, but funny-hysterical
even.I wanted to learn more about the "person" (loose translation of course)
that spent all that time meticulously calculating the many sexual positions
used in the children's movie, so I ended up on your website. It was
there that I truly discovered the warped sense of reality that you possess.
I find it very strange that a grown man would attend this movie only to
come out with his "head" filled with so many pornographic images and then
document them in this way. It is my conclusion that you, sir, are
a sex addict.
The first step is to admit that you have a problem. There are
many programs out there to reverse this problem and maybe your church could
start one to help those in the community like yourself. As I read
in your "Dinosaur" article, you have fellow congregation "members" that
helped you figure out all of the 200 sexual positions that you could get
plastic figures into. I'm sorry to tell you this sir, but you need
to know the 200 positions to be able to replicate them. Maybe you
should be "immediately enrolled in Mrs. Betty Bowers' C.A.S.H. Ministries
as a preventative measure". I am also wondering how and when you became
such a racist? Do you even own a Bible? Have you read it?
Do you understand it? Obviously not, or you would know that Jesus
was Jewish. I find it very offensive that you are so
ignorant to others. How dare you categorize yourself among us
Christians. You sir, are a bigot and are not worthy of molding yourself
in Christ's name.
In closing, I would like to remind you that God's Will will be done.
You may prance around claiming that you've got the whole world in your
hands, but your day of judgement will come. I just hope that you
continue to dissect movies like you have, so that we can continue to laugh
at your lame attempts at redemption.
Lauren MacDonald KYLE WHITELAW
I find your comments in the article about the Disney film Dinosaur
disturbing. I would say you guys need to quit sticking your noses where
they don't belong....first of all no one forced you to go see this movie...second
I have been a Baptist all my life and I was not raised to make little things
into examples of homosexuality...that is not going to send you to hell
just then so i mean it isn't that you shouldn't care, but by your article
many other people are going to go see it just because of you...i know how
Baptists can be..."oh my gosh you would not believe it you have to go see
such and such they are so ungodly." well by you doing this you are just
starting a fire that God himself is ashamed of!!!!
Why is it that all of you zealots go so overboard about this? These
are innocent children's films, children do not see these things in the
films. Only people with dirty minds who are looking for something perverse
will interpret that from the film. Open up your closed minds.....not everyone
in the world has evil intentions
Women don't have souls?,perhaps some of us don't given so many of us
are always spouting non-sense.I see, however, a flaw in your reasoning,
1.Didn't God say EVERYTHING He created was GOOD? so that must include
women as well as the devil, gays and cancer.
2.We all know how full of lust men are, they will even do the "nasty"
with sheep,cows and anything else they can catch that has a hole without
teeth in it. Without women to "entertain" them, they will be forced into
that intolerable single vice of, GASP!!, MASTURBATION!!!!
To save our men from this awful fate, women must be allowed into heaven,soul
or not to keep the men from performing "sins against nature and God".
When we aren't "entertaining" the men, we could stay with the other
animals and "entertain" them.
Sincerely Sheila, a sinner.
Sir, I am in such total shock over reading your article about what
the dr. thinks. I am a women and a Baptist . I am in no way associated
with such ignorant beliefs and I can only pray that this man not convience
anyone of his ignorance. I have a close relationship with my God and I
read my bible. Yes, we were made, after man , for his companship. But ,if
the Dr. were right , then why didn't God just make something say
like a robot ,with no feelings only actions which of course these actions
would be only those directed by man himself ? I have never read anywhere
in my Bible where it says only men have souls and not women. Is the Dr.
saying that Mary,the chosen mother of Christ , is not setting side by side
with her son in heaven? I am so sad for such misleading words! Revalations
is indeed being fulfilled! Remember God said in the last days there will
be antichrist proclaiming to preach God's word. You have my prayers.
After recently reading your review on the children's animated film:
"Dinosaurs", I was amazed at the statements made. Now I admit, I have not
seen this movie, but my questions are directly to the roots of your argument.I
believe the gist of this review was to basically warn parents about the
way this film may be subliminally intrepreted by children. But I'm wondering
how you can make such blatent statements in contradiction to the other
Christian Review you have linked to the exact page. Also, I'm supposing
that you know that this movie is highly fictional, so I'm wondering how
a movie could be considered awful, just because that it doesn't include
very many Christian overtones? All citizens of America have a right to
religious faith, just as your article has the right of speech. Including
Christian morals and values would then infringe upon those who don't value
the same morals and values-thus offending their religion. I myself am of
the Christian faith as well, but I am also an American and therefore understand
the rights each and every person has. And making such radical statements
about Hollywood and evil is a definite way to drive away possible converters.
I felt that the review could've gotten your message through by being a
little more concise on what about the film troubled you and a lot
less offensive. Who knows, maybe some Baptist Christians even helped
contribute to the production of this movie. I do not care what you do with
this message, disregard it if you like, but then you are only hurting yourself
in your disregard of the voice of the people.
David Olsen, a Christian and an American
I really appreciate the grassroots approach that your website uses and
its unwavering stance on important issues such as gun control and homosexuality.
However, as a fellow believer I am somewhat concerned over your exclusion
of nonbelievers. Jesus said in Matthew 9:12, "It is not the healthy who
need a docotr, but the sick." By being overtly hostile to nonbelievers,
you may be defeating the purpose of having a church in the first place.
In verse 13, Jesus goes on to say, "For I have not come to call the righteous,
but sinners." I hope you understand that it is important to embrace the
unsaved and many portions of your website do exactly the opposite. Thank
you for considering these words.
you are so fucking crazy,you are out of your fucking mind
after I read tour review on the movie Dinosaur, there is only one thing
I have to say : "Who the fuck do yo think you are!?". Do you sincerely
think that Disney, the world known children dream makers, would push kids
into the world of SEX. Get real and stop looking for bad things and start
enjoying movies for what they are and not whith the idea that they want
to brainwash the kids. I am going to give you a simple example: i've seen
plenty of movies involving dinosaur when I was
younger, and they never encourage me to become a freak! Yes I had sex
before mariage and I still do even tough I am not engaged. But seeing an
animal saying hello never rushed me into sexual acts. And for my final
word! You are only crazy sons of bitches! If god intended us
to live, don't take the life of your children away by
I'm pissed, get a psychiatrist.
Your organization is twisted and evil...desperately in need of a reality
check. Please get a life instead of destroying others.
I read the article on your site about Disney's new movie Dinosaurs.
All I can say is that while I was reading it, I had a very good laugh.
I have never read anything more ridiculous in my entire life. It's
amazing the things people hunt for in a harmless movie as well as something
to gripe about in these movies and toys.
Why would people spend all that time trying to find over 200 sexual
positions on a happy meal toy? It sounds to me like they are the
ones with the messed up minds.
I am a Christian and a member of a Baptist church, but I don't see why
people waste their time on things like this and reading things into movies,
toys, etc. It seems like people at my church as well as others always
have to find some issue or create one.
The thing is people are only reading about this and the ridiculous things
that are said in articles like these and pointing and laughing. No
wonder people don't want to have anything to do with church or Christianity.
The charges against this movie, as well as others in the past, just makes
asses out of all of us.
Diana Sparks, college student
My name is Julie Jones. My husband and I have a Liquidation business
where we find large quantities of excess merchandise at a very good price.
We have found a way to use the blessing of this business to help other
churches to raise money.
If you would like to hear from us about this, please let us know.
Julie and Jason Jones
Lakeside Missionary Baptist Church
First allow me to freely disregard a your disclaimer that have the
right to do anything with this e-mail. Nor can any of this be held against
me as I speak of my own free will and mind, and express my thoughts as
granted me in the first amendment of the Constitution of the United States
of America and of the free will which God himself granted all living beings.
For starters anyone who would dare be so arrogant
as to call themselves "The Largest, Most Powerful Assembly Of Worthwhile
People To Ever Exist." are
people who need a little bit of the humbleness that the lord spoke
so highly of. Knowing that 125,000 have been suckered into believing that
God only saves those who someones says he saves sickens me wholeheartedly.
The belief that any man be held greater in Gods eyes because he pays more
or goes to a certain church is very funny. It is obvious to me that you
have never had any contact with anything holy, except those whom taught
your faith or the good books you have corrupted.
As I looked upon your campus I noticed a striking
resemblance to the chapels and cathedrals in England during the dark ages.
When they believed that the higher their minerets rose towards the sky,
the closer they believed they were to God. This was also a time when the
leaders of the faith were arrogant, greedy, petty and cruel. As I walk
about the Earth I have noticed a resurgance of this attitude is consuming
the Catholic and Christian Faith. Did you know that outside you sheltered
and closed minds people regard anyone of this faith (except themselves,
whom they consider perfect) as hypocritical, paranoid and overbearing of
what they feel is right. Guess again.
I have been across, my friend. I have seen things
that you could only dream of and will not see again until you are dead
and your soul is sent a heaven you taught so much about but knew nothing
of. All are saved, friend. You need to read your bible again and allow
your soul to free itself. The bible is not just a story book or a group
of morality lessons. It is a door. A door that you have spent so much time
adoring that you never seemed to open.
So I will show you a path my friend. A path that
can help you. Goodly people do NOT condemn their fellow man. Goodly people
do NOT their scraps of money or material possessions before the Lord. That
Lord which you speak of is a good and kind Lord that forgives, whether
you leave a donation or not. The light is there. There are two sides my
friend, light and dark. The light and dark have been named many things
by the surrounding cultures who called these names "religion". Now with
culture evolving into a cruel and heartless world, it seems that religion
now plays to the crowd instead of the Lord. It sickens me to have to repremand
a man of the cloth, but worry not, yours is not alone. I am now on a crusade
which was handed me a long time ago, but my fear in what it meant kept
me from it.
Remeber, the meak shall inherate the Earth
Thomas S. Leverenz
You fucking suck you piece of Satan's shit!!!!! Yes that's what you
are. Satan decided to take a dump and out came you!!!!
To those whom it might Concern- Get a Life- Leave People
Alone Guess what Your the corrupt ones, How dare you make a simple
Disney Movie your damn soap box. You got a life- Hello - Then live it and
leave innocent people and companies alone. I work 40 hour + a week
and People like you make me mad. You sit at home And find things wrong
with Everything- GET A JOB and contribute to the World. You know
it's a better place in the world if there wasn't people putting the
nose into something that's none thier business. It's nice to
be nice, quit hiding behind the chuch- This coaltion isn't
any different than the Witch Hunt's Of
Salem or Hitler ( there's some good company you can be with). Let
In your review of the film Dinosaur your website publishes an enormous
amount of paranoid content, making references to large amounts of satanic
activity and sex throughout the film. I brought a friend's child to the
film and i saw no such "evil" acts of a grotesque and sexually deviant
nature as you suggest. It is extremely over analytical of you to assume
that everyone working on that film is a homosexual trying to spread the
message that homosexual acts are fine. Furthermore, you (or whomever wrote
that particular article) dare to say what is the will of God... that this
movie is against God. Such comments are completley unfounded and it is
an insult to faith for any human to assume what is God's reaction in such
petty matters. You are not God, you do not speak for God. On a final note
your advisory warning stating that you can alter messages and post them
is extremely dishonest and corrupt. Such a warning can only indicate that
you have every intention of distorting messag!
es that do not coincide with your opinion. In conclusion, providing
that you respond to this message please spare me the barrage of insults
I found on your website. If you are truly a pastor you will act accordingly
and justly defend your side without your profane comments.
You are all going to Hell! You are not saved, you are all psycho-paths
& maybe someday you will realize how stupid and ignorant you all sound.
Get a clue & actually read the bible! Where in the world does it say
that wearing purple makes you a homosexual? Geez, may The Lord Jesus
Christ have mercy on your soul's.
jesus would disaprove of your website you are promoting hatred
is that what you want that is not the christian way christ
way was love and understanding please reconcider your position
i am a baptist and would not welcome your views in our church repent
now may jesus have mercy on your wicked soul
While I happen to agree with your stand on Jar Jar Binks, this does
not excuse the idiocy perpetrated in every aspect of your web site.
"Unsaved NOT welcome!" is the slogan thrown about with no regard for
the teachings of your christ figure.
Aren't you people supposed to help people see the light? To ASSIST them
in becoming "saved"? You must get a huge charge out of saying "I'm saved,
everyone else is going to hell."
Enjoy your delusional self-gratification while you can, because if your
God actually does exist, he's going to be mighty angry with you when you
hit the pearly gates.
To whom it may concern:
I am an athiest. I wanted to know how it is
that you people have enough time on your hands to set around and dream
this blasphamy up. It worries me that you have nothing else better
to do. I just want to say that you uneducated rednecks need to set
down and shut up. Oh by the way do you worship comets?
A concerned individual
To whom it may concern,
I think what I just read is the sickest review I have ever read. You
all need to re read the bible. Judge not, lest ye be judged!!!
You have left your entire organization open to judgment and I for one
can say I'm PROUD not be a member of your church and feel VERY SORRY for
being raised by parents within your organization.
Hitler. Nah not good enough. Haha you little fascist bastards. I cant
find anyone WORSE THAN YOU. now whats this about women not having souls.
My mom says ur a bunch of FUCKING HEAD CASES. My brother says that you
are insane bastards and would like to kill each and everyone of you. And
the toy jarjar thing Hehe i thought that was cool that you could french
a lizard Hehe. and that nun lady that said black people didnt have souls.
Well now Have you EVER HEARD THEM IN CHURCH PRAISEING EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING
TRYING TO SOLVE PROBLEMS???? HAVE YOU ??? Well and also that whore BETTY
BOWERS saying that anyone that wears a te-shirt with a full sentance on
it is going to hell.....WELL GUESS WHAT YOUR TE-SHIRT SAYS GET UR ASS TO
CHURCH! A FULL SENTANCE YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HELL HAHAHAHAHAHA. and BSB
is bad? Wow I gotta start listening to them more. I ussally listen to Static
X and PM5K and RobZombie. HMMM the way that you talked about them made
them look like the anti-christ. I have many baptist friends and they were
laughing so loud at you guys that you could hear it down the whole intire
street. Houses under 2 million HAHAHAHAHAHAHA JESUS WANTS YOU TO TAKE A
STEAM ROLLER AND PUT UR WALLET UNDERNEATH IT HAHAHA. JESUS SAYS VOTE BUSH--
or should I say ELECT HITLER FOR NEW GOVERMENT!!!! A gun in everyhome how
horable. I will tell this site to all the officals i can find. BUT WAIT
IM NOT DONE. Make homos pay for there sin? uhh excuse me isnt there a law
against that? HMMMM. And that cross that u said they put on the moon in
79? THEN WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO PUT ANOTHER ON??? WELL AND NEAL ARMSTRONG
WAS JEWISH AND HE IS SALUTING the CROSS?? OMG you guys suck! and that was
just a paint program that you used on that. And the movie Man on the mooN????
OMG THATs A TITLE OF A MOVIE. And Acctully I think aliens landing on the
earth and planting DNA in the ground is a better theroy than Adam and eve.
And also one of my best friends is a homo and guess what HES A BOY SCOUT
TROOP MASTER. HE IS RETIRED FROM THE US MILITARY. Haha you talk like the
world is all BAPTIST like you SLIM FILITH AND DIRT. those are your BIG
priciples. And whats with this lucifer/and god touching god thing I really
dont get that. AND WHATS WITH YOU KILLING
A 5 YEAR OLD GIRL BERRYING HER THAN DIGGIN HER UP AGIAN. STATN HIMSELF
WOULD NOT DO THAT. CALLING HER TRASH DOES NOT THE CONSTITTUTION OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA SAY ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUALLY???? JUST BECAUSE
SHE WAS RETARDED DOSENT MEAN SHE CANT LOVE OR ACCEPT GOD!!!! AND YOU CRUSIFIED
AN ACTOR??? WTF YOU GUYS ARE WORSE THAN THE NAZIS. OH YEAH and I forgot
about the employment thing. I will sue you for that=) also Priests dont
hate and there are not any certain people to hate and how do you know he
wound up in hell? I pitty your soul.
You have got to be the most disgusting human on the face of this planet.
This church that you pride yourself on being apart of is a discrace to
the name of Jesus Christ. How dare you condemn the unsaved. How dare you
condemn other Christians. This is the complete opposite of what Jesus would
do. How do you even call yourselves Christians with this attitude. I see
more demons in your website and in your beliefs than I do in any movie.
Your occultic beliefs sicken me. The idea that clothes mean anything violtes
the Word of God that you claim to believe in. How about reading Matthew
6:28 "And why worry about your clothes? Look at the field lilies! They
don't worry about theirs". You condemn the world for what they do, when
you are condemning youreselves by your own beliefs. It is a disgusting
things to say men are superior to women. All that says to me is "Pride"
which is the most destructive force in the universe. There is so much pride
in your church, it is a surprise that your precious buildings are still
standing. I pray that the hand of God comes down and crushes you. You bring
a bad name to your "brother AND sister" Christians. There is so much hatred
within your church. I cannot even begin to describe my disgust at your
beliefs. they make my stomach hurt just to think that I bear the same title
as you. Your title should be "filth" becaue that is what you are. Or how
about "Hypocrite", "Brood of Vipers", "Heathen", "Demon", "Satan", or "Pharisee."
All of these descibe you. You are not even close to the title "Saint",
"Righteous", "Saved", or "Christian." I hope someday I can come to your
"church" and pray over it for the blood of Christ to come down. Maybe then
will you see your darkness. Maybe I can convince some of your "zombie"
followers to actually come to Christ and see His grace and Forgiveness.
I just pray that you don't lead them in a mass suicide before I get there.
I have seen less disgusting material in pornographic stores then in your
Praying that you see the Light of Jesus Christ and humbly bow before
mighty hand of God and beg for His mercy
Somehow, by the grace of the God you love so much, I stumbled across
your website and found it to be of utmost hilarity. As much as I enjoy
it, however, I do have one small complaint...
I would like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent person with
a fairly intelligent sense of humor, and that among the different forms
of humor, wit and sarcasm are the most intelligent. The only problem lies
when, as I was reading through your mailbag, people don't seem to understand
the humor involved.
You might want to consider placing a disclaimer someplace on the site,
such as a fine-print addendum at the bottom of the homepage: "Not to be
Otherwise, the site is well-kept and shall be often visited by myself.
A poor, unsaved soul,
To whom it may concern,
In the June 2000 Landover Baptist Church website,
I noticed some inaccuracies in your Disney's Dinosaur review. In
the future make sure your article is researched before printed. The
following inaccuracies belittle the impact you are trying to make.
1. Disney's Dinosaur is a PG rated film, not
2. Not once in the movie did the character
have any sexual relations
with any other dinosaur. Not even a kiss was exchanged.
3. At several points in this film, the main
character's sex was
identified as a male.
4. The "monkey-birds" you referred to in the
movie are in fact lemurs.
Lemurs are a full primate, and have at no time had wing-like features.
once in the movie did they fly.
5. The lemurs rode on the backs and necks
of any dinosaur, not once
riding on the dinosaurs "anus".
6. Burger King has nothing to do with promoting
Disney's Dinosaur. The
promotion is helmed by McDonald's.
7. As in the movie, only the lemur toys can
attach to the backs of the
other dinosaur toys. These toys do not have male members, and
attached to the mouth or anus of the other toys.
With all these inaccuracies, it is obvious the author
never saw the movie. In the future, please have the decency to complete
the research before attempting to send out your message. Thank you.
I would like to begin by saying that it is my express personal opinion
that you must be a FUCKING IDIOT! You people are wackos....get some help.
God, jesus........the devil, do not exist! how does that affect you? Well,
there aint going to be no salvation for you mindfucked people when the
feds hand you your ass! You are a bunch of terrorist, america doesnt need
your bullshit so stuff it!
~Someone with a clue
HEY, YOU SCUMSUCKING NAZI PIECES OF SHIT. YEAH YOU, THE LANDOVER BAPTIST
CHURCH. YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME SO SICK. YOU DISCRIMINATE AGAINST UNSAVED PEOPLE
AND TELL THEM THEY'RE GOING TO HELL, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? IF THERE IS A HELL,
WE'LL SEE YOU THERE. YOU CALL YOURSELF CHRISTIANS, BUT YOU'RE REALLY JUST
A BUNCH OF BIGOTED, SELF-IMPORTANT SHIT STAINS WHO THINK THAT JESUS WAS
MORE VINDICTIVE THAN HE REALLY WAS. WHY DON'T YOU WAKE UP AND SMELL WHAT
Your church makes god look bad. I hope someone kills you and you get
sent to hell
Well, Well welly welly well, lets see here. You have a very nice
site from what I can see, unfortunately the content is a little off kilter.
Sounds like you bastards are making a mint off of the actual god-fearing
people, what with all of the fines and all.
I have a question, if I may, how is it that you are supposed to "bring
one new guest to church a week" and "win one soul a week" if they are not
to "association with Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons, Methodists, Unitarians,
Episkypols," seems to me that most everyone will be getting a fine,
if not for the no-soul crap, then certainly for the association with the
devils that the other religions must conjure up.
Sounds like a big scam to me, and do you have a weird old lady with
blue hair somewhere in your ministry?? Because on every Christian
TV program I have
seen, there's always one running around.
I feel bad for the kids, especially the one that was punished for the
JarJar candy that his MOM bought for him, if he can't trust his mommy,
who can he
have you ever heard of a "spiritual gift" called seeing in the spirit?
my son & his wife have become involved with a group that is practicing
this. i am concerned because it seems to me almost predicting the future.
certain members of the group claim to see angels and evil spirits and visions
concerning others and actions they are to take. my son lives in a country
town some distance away. i have no personal contact with this group.
i have been a christian since early teens & have never heard of this
"gift" nor with my walk with the lord have felt the need for any other
gifts than what the scriptures mentions. i would appreciate your comments
I consider myself not only an outstanding citizen, but a very
right winged republican. But when I saw your artical on the jar jar " sex
toy", I think you are absolutly out of your tits! You need to get a life
and clue. Please realize that any toy can be used during sex as a tool.
I see pornagraphic images all the time of woman shuving pieces of fruit
in them selves! and apples and all sorts of vegitation... Doees that bean
I should boycott vegitation and stores that sell it??? Please guide me
in the right direction because with out you and your church us poor lost
souls would have no idea what we are doing...I really hopoe that paragraph
I read was a joke, because if it was not I want to say...
Get a life idiot!