Landover Baptist Mail Received June 2001 (unedited and in original form) UPDATED:  07/29/2001 -4:52PM EST

I pray that God will show mercy and forgive you for your sinful ways.  Your website is filled with erroneous information (regarding the Catholic Church) that only a fictional novelist could write.  It is disturbing to me to have found such a cult as yours operating in our country.  I am not surprised, but disturbed.  May Almighty God have mercy on your souls.

Since we live in a country which allows free speech...I am sending this e-mail.  I am speaking out against injustice.  I do not wish to hear back from you, and I don't believe I will since I am one to be avoided as proclaimed by your cult leaders.

In Christ,
Charlene Alvey

i understand you dont want people masturbating in the pews that is understandable..but at my church we have all those types of people who attend our church, and they respect the church they dont masturbate or cause a fuss...but we show them jesus's love through accepting them with open arms...and many have come to know the lord through our love and acceptance through not judging them..but we do not accept the sin we accept the sinner, and thats what jesus did a long time ago and he is still doin it today...i dont see what is wrong with a mexican goin to your church, i understand that some of them are rude and i fully understand that even i
have a problem with them sometime in my own heart...but god reminds me that they are people too just like me we have the same blood runnin through our
veins, and god loves them just as much as he loves me or you...if god can show such a love then we should also...and remember prejudice minds are
narriow minds, if we keep prejudice in our hearts then god himself will turn his heart away from us..GOD saids that GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE
GAVE US ONLY SON THAT WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH IN HIM SHALL NOT PAISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE. god didnt say that only a few would he forgive and save god said he forgave the world and that meaning everyone in it. we must remember who is calling the shots its GOD and you can always tell who it is whether its you or god..when were callin the shots we'll see signs like judgement that is for god to do or jelesly also for god when we step out of god will we begin to do gods job and that is always a big warning im not judging you im sayin what god has put on my heart to say and all i ask is that you look at your own heart like i have done many times and see whether your rules is of god or of your self and see who it is benifiting you or other people were here for the sinners to bring them in if we can not do that then our lives are certainly lived in vain. i will be prayin for you and your church god bless you.




  You people analyze everything in movie sand make it out to be filthy smut.  If you were not so OBSESSED with sex then you wouldn't think that a dinosaur egg sitting on the ground looks like an erect penis. With headlines such as "We Need Dick!" and quizzes about sex, you should be ashamed of yourselves, condemning the same thing that you are shamelessly promoting.  This is off topic but, isn't the ad of Jesus surfing SACRILEGIOUS. If you are so anti-Disney then why don't you make your own movies for children.Franklin T. Rochester III, this parts for you, there is a reason why your wife tells you to make her steam is because you don't pleasure her often or well enough. Give me your address, I'll come over and knock her up for you, because apparently you are more interested in your grandson committing a homosexual act with an animal. "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array" (1 Timothy 2:9). "But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering" (1
Corinthians 11:15). Oh My, is that an elaborate gold cross sitting in between sister Taffy's breast. I can't believe that you didn't pick up on that fact that she has the bottom of the cross in between her breast signifying that she would want Jesus to be in between her chest. If you read this, expect more later, because you are sorry excuses for God's children.


your movie review for castaway is so fake! thats not even tom hanks in the picture, you dont worship god, youre nothing but a bunch of losers! get a job, and no, god doesnt love to kill babies, you sick perverts


For your own sake I hope your article on Martha Evans is just simply a joke, even though bad tast. This is not what the Lord intended for humans; that we should go around bouchering each other. You are sick human beeings and I am ashamed to call myself a Christian if that is what you claim to be. God will not make place for you in Heaven with such a behaviour. You will linger in the dark after you leave the life here on the earth. What goes around comes around.
CE Victoria
Carola Erixon 

Dear Pastor:

I use that term loosely.  You and your kind encompass all the evil that exists so abundantly in the Baptist Church.  My God does not preach hate. My God does not preach racism.  My God does not give me the power to sit in judgement of others. What my God does preach and a lesson that you have yet to learn, is a sense of acceptance and compassion for all people of all races and sense of spirituality to see beyond the hate that inspires those like yourself.

Perhaps the Baptist Church would hold some credibility if they could even agree on what their beliefs even are.  You know the old saying, if you don't like what they are saying at this Baptist Church, all you have to do is go down the road to the next one.  Personally, I think the Baptist Church in general, functions as a dysfunctional family and find them them as relevant as Hitler is to todays Germany.

Your misrepresentation of the bible and distorted teaching therefrom are extremely offensive to those even with the slightest moral and social conscience.  For years, my church has prayed for the conversion of the USSR.  As a church we have accomplished this.  Now, I guess we'll have to pray for a conversion to take place closer to home.

In closing, thank you for re-affirming my beliefs and the empowerment to rise up against your kind. You and your kind are not above judgement. You truly need to take that statement to heart!

Jerry Freebersyser

someone showed me your site. do you make money off of it? i don't get the point.

I am completely appaled by the last section of your review for The Blair Witch Project.  Although I do agree that the movie is evil, you fail to mention that so is Killing "Thou shalt not kill" do you remember that?  The only purpose to own a gun is for killing, be it human or other.  KILLING is KILLING.  If you shoot a deer and KILL it you have still KILLED! Secondly (on your blasphamies):

· Men with long hair <- Jesus had long Hair
· A woman as the leader of a group of men <- Mary Raised Jesus and looked  after Joseph.  SHE led them.
· Working on a Sunday <-Ever been to church?  I don't know about you, but I think a pastor does alot of work on sundays.
· Men and woman unchaperoned in the woods on an overnight camping trip <- Again, Mary and Joseph spent months together unchaperoned.  The two people who
raised Jesus on Earth, who weren't even married at the time.
· Talking about taking dope and drinking wine <- I agree with you here on the dope part, but if you remember the last supper "and Jesus took the cup and said this is my blood let this be given up for you" HELLO!
· Trying to make a movie about witches in the first place <- Every Movie I've seen about witches it's always the 'good guys' against the witches.  If you look at the Wizard of Oz Dorthy Kills the wicked witch.  In Blair Witch Project they are not witches, in fact the 'witch' is never even shown.  BWP is a symbolic portrail of how modern life has corrupted youth, and a lesson for all of us to learn from. So next time you all feel holier than thou, remember one thing.  God forgives ALL, even the worst of sinners.

-Andrew - Mitch Pierce 

To Whom It May Concern:

     This is in regard to your website.  I have one main question...what is your problem????  I do not understand why you feel you have to spoof Christianity with such viciousness.  It is completely unneccessary and offensive.  I am sure that is what you were going for, though.

     While your website really bothers and upsets me, I know that I cannot tell you what to think or say, and I would never try to do so.  I do, however, have a legitimate argument, I believe.  It is that on your website you only state that it is a parody in a very small light gray font at the bottom of the web page.  Anyone who is not familiar with real Christianity and does not notice the very small word "parody" at the  bottom of their screen is going to get a very wrong picture of Christianity.  Now, I do not know what you believe, but you have no right to be so deceptive.  You are making it seem as though there really is such a church as "Landover Baptist" and in doing so, may very possibly lead some people astray.  I know full well that I cannot get you to remove your website, but I think that it is your legal duty to make sure everyone knows it is a parody. I thank you for your time and I hope you take into consideration my plea.

-Amy - 

you think pokemon is satan and everything. You obviously know absolutely noyhing about it. You said that pokemon are real and they kill kids parents. What a huge lie. Pokemon are fictional cartoon characters. You said that when a kid gets all of the characters he can have any wish. what are you talking about it's fake. Having played the game and watched the show you dont make any wishes when you catch them. And speaking of the show. If youve ever watched it it teaches good values to children and that they should be nice to others and to their family. How could you openly lie about all these things.


To whom it may concern

I realize that probably no one with any influence will ever read this email, but to you who does i have a few words i wish to share with you...

I feel utter shame and hurt for your so-called 'Christian' website, I fear that the person responsible and all those who support may not be in the right here, and may be bringing people down into false sinful beliefs. It is people like you who give Christianity a name to dispise, i feel ashamed to be connected in the same body with you...if that is in fact true that you people are actually a part of the body of Christ

I have concern about some of your comments excluding non-believers...i have not read through everything in this website, but from my impressions this is almost as far from Christianity as you can get. Let me share something with you that God has taught me. Your scripture qoutes to support your discrimination against non-believers are taken out of context and are completely warped and distorted into heresy. If you actually had the 'secret knowledge of truth' Paul talks about you
would realize this. Our mission as Christians is to reach people for Christ (NOT FOR OURSELVES) but He wants them, it doesn't matter what we want. To in any
way not do this in life is to deny Christ and His work on the cross. I fear you do not even have the Spirit in you or else you would know that in all things, our focus is faith, and in faith we reach others...thats the bottom line to it all

somewhere along the way you lost that, i beg you to find it and become
one of His - Ron Wall 

Landover masterminds,

due to the many mailings I have received from degenerates  who visit your site, I am demanding my name be removed from your site and or list. Your little game to try and persecute Christianity was not humoring and actually was a type of harassment that I find appalling. Please have the decency to remove my name from your list or I will be forced to contact these attorneys Ask Jeeves Answer: Christian Law Association Here is their link if you think I am bluffing. If my name is not removed within 24 hours I will employ the services of these Christian gentlemen.

Truly outraged

I ran across your web site while doing a search for my daughter which by the way is handicapped. since when did Gods children start thinking of them as "trouble makers"! I hope God has pity on your ignorant souls.

Rose Wilson

This is a parady website and you are making fun of our divine Lord Christ Jesus. Not only is this blasphemy but it is a hae crime and can be shut down. I will do everything within my power to aid in this  cause. You are spreading false rumors. my the good lord have mercy on your immortal souls. Stop blaspeming the word of God and sending the unsaved away from their salvation!

Make your own choices and don't manipulate other people's minds with trash!!! atheism is to be pitied, for it will lose in the long run. we all know this is a fake website run by tow people who got thrown out of college for anti-christian hate crimes.

Meghan Schrader

Just wondering what the point of this website is. Please let me know.

Chad Starkey 

He guys Good work with the site, etc....B blessed!!!!
I like to get contact with one of the hackers of the raid in februari / or other christian hackers.

I am working on a project and I need other Christian hackers.


The webmaster of

The weapons of our cyberwarfare are mighty through God!!!!


What is wrong with you people?  How can you say the unsaved are not welcome?  We are Christians and the Lord wants us to reach the unsaved and tell them
about Jesus.  We are to love everyone and do the Lord's work by preaching to everyone.  I have brought unsaved people to church with me and talked to them
about God and try to answer the questions they ask me.  You are so wrong in saying the unsaved are not welcome, is that what Jesus would really have wanted?  I don't think so.  You guys make me sick with what you believe.


You destroyed thousands of dollars of merchandise. You encouraged the kids to chant "kill them all!" and yet one of the commendments say "thou shalt not kill". You invented a deranged, pathetic attempt at a story about "demons". You're implying anything japanese or from another religion is satanic. And yet you are proud of all of this.
That's hilarious. To stop people from laughing at this particular page, I suggest that you do some serious research and revising. And don't be so close-minded.

Amanda Suen 

Ok, first of all, you are wrong, dinosaur won many awards and kids love the movie, are there anything your religious freaks aint offended by?  I am Roman Cathloic and I don't find any movie offensive....  Just because you dont like it dont mean you have to bash it.  I have access to a wide amount of message boards and I will let them know about this place and tell them to boy cott it and make them complain about your stupid religious thoughts...  Anyone who finds a 4 year old childish movie offensive has some serious problems...  They can rott in hell....  Religion is dieing....   I can't beleive you old geezers find a 4 year old's kiddie movie offensive....  thats just downright sad.

My thought:  GET A LIFE!!!!  IF YOU DONT LIKE THE MOVIES, DONT WATCH THEM AND DONT SPREAD CRAP ON THE NET ABOUT THEM.  JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDNT LIKE IT DONT MEAN ITS A BAD MOVIE...  religious and offnsive..... gimmie a break...   Is there a movie out there that you AINT offended by?  ANSWER ME!!!

Your truly Raptor_90


How do you understand 1 Corinthians 14:23 in light of your church's belief that unbelievers should not be in the church?

Yours sincerely,
Cory Anderson

What nonsense you are preaching! All you are doing is fining people for this or fining people for that.All you are interested in is the money. How can you advertise, "Get your ASS to church". You need to get your ASS in the Bible and read what it really says and not what you want it to say.The Bible is God's Word, not Landover's word. I thought Waco was over but you guys....MAN!! What a joke. If this is what you are all about, YOU WILL BE THE ONE'S IN HELL! Not those of us that truly believe God's Word. I will be praying for your soul's. God wants us to love the unsaved and minister to them. Not turn them away. He says that their blood is on OUR Hands. We will be held accountable. If you believe God will provid, why are you all about money? You are NUTS!!! May God have mercy on your souls

scott kelley

I'm sorry you have not clearly understand the word of God,how could you say sinners are not welcom,in what Authority do you have in saying God said therefore we will abide do you not understand..why must you make the word of God like no one can get to our sins you say we need to be stoned well my friend if we where in the Law I would agree :However we are in the depensation of Grace.Rember when the woman who was caught in Adultry and they brought her to JESUS and they where going to stone her and Jesus said which one of you who has not sinned cast the first stone..and they walked away and my friend no one casted the stone...........................Jesus told her she is forgiving go and sin no more need to learn to study your Bible even the 1611 so please stop this hypocracy your throwing Gods word out of content

In his Glory
Some having compassion making a differance JUDE 2v22

i shouldn't even bother to e-mail you because you will proabably just violate the "thou shalt not bear false witness commandment" and  change my words. Well, even though i am saved and love Jesus fervently with all of my heart, soul, and life, i must ne going to hell because I use tampons! That's more than you wanted to know about me, but hey, you are inviting it. Oh, and I guess you forgot the time jesus said, "Do not judge or you will be judged." You ae judging people you don't know about! only the soveriegn and merciful Savior is able to judge who and who will not go to Heaven, not you! Oh, and keeping the unsaved out of your church? excuse me? Do you know how much you are making Christians look like bigoted, racial jerks? it is peple like you that cause those who would have entered the gate to lose their salvation becasue they don't want to be part of a nation  that condemms people they don't even know to Hell. You won't agree with me, But you are like the pharisees. they made up their own rules, and you are doing just that. the bible does not say anything about tampons, curfews, playing with dolls, etc. I'm soery, but sometimes people have a cold and can't make it to church. They might love God, but do you really want them sneexing in the communion wine? come one give me a brake.  Oh, and your coloring book about Grandmothers in hell? That is guaranteed to make kids hate jesus at an early age. Oh, and if you think the disney movie dinosour is sexual, satan sodomizing granma as she burns in flames is one of the most depraved sexual descriptions i habve ever heard. I would never give that to any child. How do you expect to reach out to the unsaved if you don't invite them into your church? Am I am not sorry to say that athiests, although sadely misguided without the Gospel,  ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE. Excuse me, who said that micheal jackson is not saved? HOW DO YOU KNOW! YOU DON'T! SO STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU DO! hOW COULD YOU POSSINLE ASSERT THAT HOMELESS PEOPLE WHO TALK TO THEMSELVES ARE NOT SAVED???? THEY NEED JESUS MORE THAN ANYBODY AND YOU, LIKE THE PHARISEES REJECTED THE LEPERS, WOULD REJECT THEM. OH, MY THE SWEET LORD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR JUDGEMENTAL SOULS AND ANYONE ELSE WHO SEES YOUR WEBSITE WHICH DEPIOCTS GOD'S WRATH AND NOT LOVE! oH, I WEEP FOR THOSE WHO WILL BE TURNED AWAY!  oH, AND JESUS EXTENDS JHOS SALAVATION TO EVERYONE WHO ASKS! HE IS MERCIFUL! HE IS WRATHFUL TOO, BUT YOU ARE SIMPLY PORTRAYING HIS WRATH AND NOT HIS LOVE! HOW COULD YOU?

a sister in christ,
Meghan Schrader


I always thought that that the authority of Almighty God rested in the New Testament church, not in the pastoral office.  Your theology is upside down. What is the difference between the "roman pope" and you "baptist popes". You can't be so naive, I can't believe it!!!!!. You are such a great authority in your own eyes.

Hector Hernandez
Baptist pastor

Where should I start? This is in regards to your article on your web site in December 2000 about rap invading the church. It was garbage. You claim to be Christians but you ridicule something you know nothing about. As a young, Christian, black male in America who happens to listen to Hip Hop, I am disgusted and offended by what you had to say. These types of publications make me ashamed to call myself a Christian. What are you, the Klan? I'm sick. I know that only God can judge a
person's soul, but that type of talk is only going to get you to one place, Hell. I'll pray for you sick people.

A disgusted black man in America


It is obvious to me through your web site that you do not believe in God or anything that is connected to God. I only hope and pray that you will stop being hurtful and purposely hateful to people who you do not know. People that only wish that you are healthy and understand the riches you have in God. I am not saying your are going to Hell. God has that privilege! Have a wonderful day. You can take humor too far!

Steven Liles

Your review of Dinosaur was totally innacturate.  First of all, there was no "great flood" which wiped out the dinosaurs.  It is generally accepted that it was a meteor that did that.  Nothing has been proven yet but evidence points to a meteor.  Second dinosaurs and man did not walk the earth at the same time.  I don't know who your "Christian scientists" are but they sure are stupid.  Fossil records easily prove that dinosaurs came millions of years before man.  You don't belive me, then ask Dr. Jack Horner, dinosaur expert, paleontologist and dinosaur advisor for all three Jurassic Park films.  I think he knows a hell of a lot more about dinosaurs then your little "Christian Scienstists" do.  Third the theory that dinosaurs evolved into birds has not been proven wrong or right yet but fossil evidence indicates there is some connection.

Now onto the "Dinsney propoganda."  It's a f*cking kids movie.  Not every disney animator is a horny gay person who wants to convert kids to his sexual way of thinking.  I do admit that in films such as the little mermaid there were sexuallly slanted things in there but not in every film.  The cave looking like a female orifice?  In the words of the great philosopher Watto, "Methinks not."  And Barney is as gay as Darth Vader, which is not at all.  He is just teaching kids good values.  So before you go making all this crud up why don't you get your facts straight.  To describe your site and your review I quote Obi-Wan Kenobit, "A wretched hive of scum and villany."  Bring on a rebuttal because you are gonna be taken down by the Chaos Effect juggernaut.

Chaos Effect