Landover Baptist Mail Received October 2000 (unedited and in original form) UPDATED:  10/27/2000 -6:52PM EST

I would just like to inform you that many students, CHRISTIAN students, at the Universitf of Illinois are disguisted by your website. Your hellhouse is GROSS. Living in your little bubble of a city-MAKING A LOAD OF MONEY FROM YOUR "FOLLOWERS" B/C OF THE LAWS THAT YOU HAVE CREATED-is WRONG. I will be praying for every 25,000 of you. I will ask God to forgive your sins, FOR YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!!! I will continue to spread the word about how WRONG your CULT is. DON'T FOR A SECOND THINK THAT YOU ARE THE AUTHORITY ON EARTH-GOD IS. Just because 25,000 people living in your city worship YOU, Doesn't mean that the other 6 billion people in the world know that Christinity is about LOVING GOD!!!

emily claire jones

To the editors & creators of the Landover Baptist Church Parody Web Site-
I want to thank you for your web site. Your commentary and insight in this web site is a great example to the world! I have been telling everyone about your site. It is with great passion I write to you today. When I need an example of the grip Satan has on the world, you have come through like no other.
I sincerely hope the staff is entirely devoid of true religious folks. It would be a shame to claim to be a follower of Christ and work on this web site. I am not a judgmental person, and your life is yours to answer on the day of judgment.
Tonight I shall pray for the staff and owners of the web site. I will pray that God will show them the way to use their talents more effectively.
Remember, Christ died on the cross for your sins. Redemption is only a prayer away.
Robert Allen
P.S. You are not permitted to reprint this email in any shape or form unless you reprint the entire  email in its truest form.

Robert Allen 

You have a right to your view, our constitution states that, but we will all answer to the Lord almighty when our time comes.  And for that, I have no doubt that you will burn in hell for the hatred and venom you spread.


Hey, nice site (yea right).

It just further proves to me that judgement is coming upon this country very soon, and I'm sure you're proud be be part of it's downfall.

I just thank God I am not in your shoes when He returns. (remeber the money changers?) Whatever happened to not changing a jot or tittle? (Revelations) Be careful
about putting words in Jesus' mouth.

WWJD I know it's over used, but it's very relevant, and I really don't think he would say some of the things you are giving Him credit for.

God have mercy on misguided people.

Guy Bachman

Guy Bachman 

Disturbing Material On Landover Website

I felt that I should enform the webmaster of this site of Disturbing Material. It seems that the creators, and writers, for and of this site are calling themselves Christians!How dare they, when they insult Jesus himself?! And how, you must be asking me, do the "good people" of Landover Baptist insult Jesus? The condeming evidence can be found infesting Landover Baptist's site, most specifically, the ridiculous article written up on Disney's "Toy Story II." In this article, the author states: "Let's hit these Homo Jews out in Hollywood where they live -- in their wallets. Praise the Lord!" "Homo Jews"??  Our Christ, Jesus, was a Jew himself! He was born, of God, into a Jewish family! Mary was Jewish! Surely, you "good people" of Landover Baptist are not calling Jesus a homosexual! The article itself is laughable.  At the beginning, the author states: "Toy Story II isn't polluting theaters yet, but Landover Baptist has already seen an early script for this disgusting little movie"...yet the author goes on to describe "The cute boy from the first movie has turned so queer and wears so much eye make-up he looks like he should be in the cast of 'Rent'."  Surely the author does not mean that in the supposed "script" they received from the "lone Born Again Christian" it stated that the boy would be "queer" and wearing "eye make-up"?  I, a SAVED CHRISTIAN, saw this movie.  It was not as the author described.  Buzz Lightyear remained a loveable spaceman, not a "turbo-activated hand-held rectal-stimulator with two rotating heads worthy of Black & Decker. "  And the cowboy Woody does not spend "the entire movie spiking the other toys' batteries with powdered-Viagra."  That is a severely horrid accusation.  And, worst of all, the author of this article states the characters "going next door to rape a little retarded girl. "  There WAS no retarded girl. If Landover Baptist DID receive some sort of "script" from a "Born Again
Christian"..perhaps they should question the motives of their informant.  Perhaps it was the informant hisself/herself that created this...putrid filth described.

Be glad that I don't start in on the terrible, perverted way that Landover Baptists authors have twisted the innocent movie "Dinosaur," or the incredibly laughable review on "The Grinch."  Wake up people, and realize that the filth is in your own minds.

Lillian Daniels 

re: <> Gentlemen (and I use that loosely) Your site is a travesty of all that is holy and good in the Christian
church.  To use the name of a main line Christian church as a vile representation anti-Christ is sinful.  Maybe there aren't currently organizations in this country to govern your liberties taken, but there is in heaven.  And, trust me, He will have is day with all of you involved.

A Disgusted Christian,
Jim Pennington

Jim Pennington 

When I was directed to your site, I was not prepared for the sick ungodly misrepresentation of Christ Jesus that I have ever witnessed. How you can claim to know God at all is beyond me. You are a disgrace to everything our Lord Jesus did for ALL men. I am ashamed of you and your shame certainly has been made known to all as you broadcast it so proudly on your website. You think God is altogether like you in your sick bigotry. He has nor will He ever Condon hatred and division and attacking any who are created in His own image. The only satisfaction I have at viewing your webpage, is that you will stand before God and give account for this act of hate toward your fellow man. You are a pretty twisted lot out there, it is clear you continue to serve your real father who is the devil.

Leilani Richter


I came across your website and I was wondering if you could send me any information about your college.   I am currently in the process of looking at several Christian Colleges.  One of the colleges that I'm looking at right now is Bob Jones University.  Is your school anything like theirs? Please email me with any information you can provide.


Moffett, Jodee 

You people are a bunch of ignorant, sexist, racist, egotistical, no-life losers who are trying to sway good people from their own salvation just so you can add them to your numbers! You people have no idea and should be ashamed to call yourself Christians!! I myself am a Christian and would consider it the epitimy of blasphemy to even think about listening to the amount of stale, out-dated propaganda-like BULLSHIT that you freaks are displaying to the innocent.  Anyone in their right mind who actually listened to any of your shit would instantly (and rightly) label you more full of disease-ridden crap than a 60-year old hooker's puss-secreting vaginal wart!
Save yourselves from yourselves
(you need it!!!)

Michael V

Thank you for your Landover website, I have now been fully convinced to be a Liberal. Your website is completely immoral. Shall I start from Point 1?

1. That not all people are equal

I don't even know how to begin to tell you where this is wrong. Black people, asians, women and anyone else who can breathe, think, and speak, is a person, and therefore is equal. How can you say a Black person is not equal, he breathes and thinks also, does he not?

2. That god is completely uncaring, and that he will punish us in the afterlife.

Well then, why would we believe in god if all he is going to do is punish us in the afterlife?

3. That homosexuals are bad.

Some homosexuals are the result of pedophile rape, and cannot help being the way they are. How do you presume to answer that... that they rejected the lord by being raped? I think not.

4. That Tampons are evil

Yes, making sure blood doesn't stain our clothes is evil

5. That haloween is evil

Well, most kids enjoy Haloween for FUN, churchy. They don't care about the underlying meaning.

6. That you are god's folk.

Wrong. Your a christian religion remember? What's the first 5 letters of that? Hmmm..??? Christians are people who follow the teachings of christ, which were to be kind to his fellow man, which you are clearly not. Oh, by the way, if you did correctly read your bible, Jesus was a Jewish person. Yet you hate the Jewish, and therefore I have come to the conclusion that you hate Jesus.

Thank you. Your website has given me the inspiration to become a huge

Central Intellegence Agency 

How can you be true christians if on your own web site, it says,"unsaved not welcome"?  Your duty as a true worker of god as you claim to be should be to spread gods word to every one not keep it for yourselves. I think ya'll are just a cult that worships George W. Bush instead of God. And to Judy Christian or whoever wrote to, you should be ashamed of yourself. Did you know that by setting judgement on others, you condemn yourself to Hell. Only God can judge and you are by no means A God. I myself am Baptist and I am ashamed to be because of people like ya'll. Freakylinks is just an entertaining show, not a hoax to salvage our "great" country into homo's and Devilworshippers. Those things were even talked about in the bible, if you've ever even read it. The show is not gonna change a thing. Wake up and quit  judging. It's not your place to. I am a very southern girl and my moma always  said,"If  you ain't got nothing nice to say, then don't say it at all." I hope that this will open your eyes to what a true christian thinks. Oh! and if you don't like something on t.v. then don't watch it. And one more thing  The jews have been fighting since bible times so god did not tell you "he's had it"

lance english 

All I have to say, is that you guys say you're true Christian's but true Christian's don't tell people that they're going to hell or whatever. You can't tell people that. Aren't Christians suppose to be forgiving and stuff like that? You guy's are condemning everyone just because they don't believe the same as you!! And, don't try to tell me I'm nt a Chistian or whatever, because I know I'm not, and don't tell me I'm going to hell because, I'm not going to change my beliefs just because you tell me they're wrong.

Amy Hart 

You guys suck. Your mockery of the Faith is a disgrace to yourselves and our freedom of speech.

mark dumesnil

YOu Guys are all full of demon crap. Get a life. You have no shame! YOU guys really need the Lord.



To the nut-jobs at Landover Baptist,
Not to sound like a jackass, but you are seriously pathetic.You are an infestation on this planet, one which I patiently await the demise of. I am a 15 year old boy, still growing, maturing, and learning, and I can confidently say that I am collectively more sensible than all of you put together. How can you dedicate your lives to such an obvious lie? How can't you see?, that Christianity is just an elaborate and ancient hoax, made up by a group of bleeding hearts a rough 3500 years ago to make those gullible enough to believe it nicer to others or face the penalty of an "eternity" of damnation. HA!! So I will propose my challenge to you if you and your so called "God" are brave enough to take me on? Any argument you wish to put up against me, I will gladly take on an beat. Whether it be on the creation of the universe, or what happens after death. Also note, if you are so low as to alter this message and lie to your foolhardy "followers", you will be debunked as cowards and frauds, and will forever prove that not only is your religion a lie, but that you know and conceal it!
Write back anytime.
Tim Marsh 

Dear brother in Christ?
   My heart is heavy. I don't think I can qualify to be a member of your  organization.  I can't win a person to Christ once a week or once a year, or ever.  The Holy spirit is the only one who can draw that person to God not thru my words of persuasion.  As for our Baptist Church in El Paso Texas, we would like to have a sign out front in big letters "Sinners Welcome" I love you in Christ as all that are lost.  I pray that I don't give Jesus another black eye.  The end time is coming and my prayer is for all to know Jesus.  Be all things to all people so that some may be saved.  Church is not a resort for the saved but a hospital for sinners.

In Christ
Dan Taylor

To Whom it may Concern,
I visited your site for the first time this evening and I was really happy to see some of the things on your site except when I got to the top of the page and read unsaved not welcomed Just so happen I am saved and I didn't take that so hard but in order to live right you have to have a postive outlook on life and about believing in christ. There are many people in this world that has never even been to church or ever seen the bible. Can you tell me that your christian, if you can you need to remove unsaved not welcomed. Do you welcome unsaved people to your church or do you even witness to the unsaved in order to be saved you have to believe and your site could really be a saving site if you just changed your slogan...Maybe to FREE TRIP TO HEAVEN.........DETAILS INSIDE.......OR   UNSAVED  WELCOMED MY GOD LOVES EVERYONE!

Richard & Teresa

Dear pastor (if you can truly call yourself that)
VERY unfortunately I stumbled on your website by accident and was at the VERY least horrified by what I read. It seems you and your group of Vigilante "Christians" have forgotten the most basic principles of, forgiveness, understanding, compassion, peace, hope etc.... Rather than trying to "scare" somebody into being a Christian, you are supposed to win them over by showing them how much more appelaing a life through Christ is. You are supposed to show the basic principles I mentioned earlier rather than beat them over the head with such utter nonsense as blood splatterings and women using tampons (i refuse to even discuss how asanine this was). Your group seems to be more of an occult that a Christian organization. I hope you and your lost sheep see the err of your ways before you "scare" people away from you and Christianity for good. Please pray about this -  deep down I'm sure you realize you are going about "soul saving" the wrong way - God is NOT in all !!!!
Carey McKee, an extremely concerned Christian


You people are the sickest motherfuckers on the face of this earth!!You make me ill! You have the audacity to judge others when you say things like"hell is full of 'injuns' ?!"If anyone is destroying this world, it's people like you , you SICK FUCK!!!! I SPIT on you!!!!!.

Debbie Ford 

Dear Pastor-

Your little church must be a sick joke Satanists are using to thrash Christians.  I ran into your website and couldn't help but laugh at what a unchristian-like, pathetic website it was.  If you define what is "saved" then I want no part of that.  The "unsaved not welcome".  That sums it all up.  Let's see, during Christs ministry didn't he see the lepars and say, "their no good, I don't think I'll help them out."  Please tell me this is a joke and that you are a Satanic demon in the depths of hell.  If not a joke, could you send me some good collectibles from your establishment (i.e. t-shirt, stickers, etc.)  Thanks.

Spencer Lee 

I am a born-again Christian who thinks that your website is absolutely evil! You're making fun of Christians, and you're making fun of God. The Bible says that if you mock the Holy Spirit, that is the sin that God cannot forgive. Even though you put out a website making fun of Christians, I want you to know that God STILL LOVES YOU and He wishes that you would go to Him, repent and have a relationship with HIM!!

Thank you

Sarah Carlson 

Hello, I am afraid that this is the most UNCHRISTIAN thing that I have ever seen!     The unsaved are NOT welcome in your church????????????  Almost everyone is going to HELL?????????? How can we bring people to the lord if we tell them that they are not welcome in our curches if they are not saved? Do you base this on anything that comes from the Bible, or do you use your own Bible?
Your very own website seems to place your materials ( ie your camous, swiming pools, circus camp, etc) at a veru very high priority.
Why does such a Christian comunity need soo many POLICE?
    I also challange your remark that you have no products that are not made or manufactured by born again christians!
    I can not continue.
    I must send your email address to each and every Christian, as well as every Baptist church and ministry that I can locate.
    You FINE your folks? Sounds Christian enough to me.
Who is going to HELL?


I'm just curious as to your reasoning on creating a parody of Christianity.  What exactly is the point of your site other than to harass pretty much everybody?
Thank you

Nic and Chris

First of all let me say, " You have to be FUCKING kidding me." Brittney Spears had not a thing to do with this little girl. It was her own mind at work. A video can not make a girl do such a thing. Also I hope you all go to HELL for passing judgement on others. Again you the "faithful" ones are the ones at wrong.


Dear Pastor Smith,

I too am a fundamentalist Baptist - Hallelujah for the Jews believing in Jesus! It has been the experience of our Churches out west that while more and more Jews are finally understanding that Jesus is THEIR Messiah foretold throughout the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible, not all of the new Believers remain committed because of having to give up their traditions.

I am bringing this to your attention because of an article on your website "Jews Repent and Receive Christ,..."

Jews are finally coming to their senses," a Landover Baptist official told the press on Tuesday, "You can expect this to set off a chain reaction among Jews all over the world. We continue in our prayers for the Jewish people daily, praying that they deny their heritage and traditions, throw off their Judaic Devil loving ways, cut off those offensive little things they have hanging from the sides of their heads, and join a Bible believing, Fundamentalist Baptist Church." (emphasis added). Landover Ministries is taking a step forward in welcoming each of our new Messianic Jewmembers with a hog-roast on the lawn.

The majority of the Jewish Traditions ARE Scriptural and commanded by God Almighty (except the sacrificial ones since Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice for our sins). Jewish Believers in the Messiah are still required to observe the Torah - meaning, things like dietary Laws still apply (as to what is clean and unclean, or "Kosher") However, Gentile Believers in the Messiah (called Christians) are NOT obligated to the same laws.

WHY am I stated these things? Because the recently converted Jews that believe in Jesus will maintain their commitment and will be less likely to backslide if they can maintain their God-inspired/commanded traditions (that don't conflict with the New Testament).

We must, as the Body of Christ, respect the Jewishness of Jesus, and the fact that the Bible Jesus read was in fact, the "Hebrew Bible" or Old Testament that we find in the King James.

We have found that learning some of the Jew's traditions in honoring the Almighty Alpha and Omega, that our understanding of the New Testament is richer and far deeper and our understanding of HOW utterly and completely Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament prophecies. This gives a common knowledge and common ground to build a bridge to more and more Jews looking for the TRUE Messiah, Jesus/Yeshua.

Yours in Jesus' Service,

E. Sabatier, Central Baptist Church

Evelyn Sabatier 

hey, what's the point in what you are doing?   Obviously you are trying to divert people from coming to Christ, but anyone with half a brain would realize you are just a bunch a sick freaks with nothing better to do.. you all need help and I will pray for your souls..\Jesus will win... I just don't understand why someone could be so evil.. Jesus died for you.. and this is how you repay Him... you are sad..


    I for one, who was raised in a Baptist family, am sick of every little thing being accused of having demonic messages by hypocrites like you. You so called "holy people" are so blinded by your lack of understanding that you instantly crucify anything that isn't exactly in alignment with your beliefs. I know all about the Bible and what it says about keeping "the temple of God" holy and separate from the world.   So, if we are supposed to be in and not "of " the world, why don't you keep your noses to yourselves? I mean, after all, your little template on your website says that the unsaved are not welcome. Well, doesn't the Bible say, "Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel unto every nation"? Why don't you open YOUR eyes and realize that just attacking movie ads and miscellaneous items is not what God wants us to do? We are supposed to go OUT and lead people to Him, not sit at our websites and snipe others at a safe distance. You specifically scrutinize any ad, and look for anything that is supposedly evil -- well, what have you accomplished? Any nonbeliever would laugh at your pettiness, and go on living the way they always have. You give Christians a bad name and I am ashamed to be stereotyped with you.