Landover Baptist Mail Received
October 2000 (unedited and in original form) UPDATED: 10/27/2000
I would just like to inform you that many students, CHRISTIAN
students, at the Universitf of Illinois are disguisted by your website.
Your hellhouse is GROSS. Living in your little bubble of a city-MAKING A
LOAD OF MONEY FROM YOUR "FOLLOWERS" B/C OF THE LAWS THAT YOU HAVE
CREATED-is WRONG. I will be praying for every 25,000 of you. I will ask
God to forgive your sins, FOR YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE
DOING!!!! I will continue to spread the word about how WRONG your CULT is.
DON'T FOR A SECOND THINK THAT YOU ARE THE AUTHORITY ON EARTH-GOD IS. Just
because 25,000 people living in your city worship YOU, Doesn't mean that
the other 6 billion people in the world know that Christinity is about
emily claire jones
To the editors & creators of the Landover Baptist Church Parody
I want to thank you for your web site. Your commentary and insight
in this web site is a great example to the world! I have been telling everyone
about your site. It is with great passion I write to you today. When I
need an example of the grip Satan has on the world, you have come through
like no other.
I sincerely hope the staff is entirely devoid of true religious folks.
It would be a shame to claim to be a follower of Christ and work on this
web site. I am not a judgmental person, and your life is yours to answer
on the day of judgment.
Tonight I shall pray for the staff and owners of the web site. I will
pray that God will show them the way to use their talents more effectively.
Remember, Christ died on the cross for your sins. Redemption is only
a prayer away.
P.S. You are not permitted to reprint this email in any shape or form
unless you reprint the entire email in its truest form.
You have a right to your view, our constitution states that, but we
will all answer to the Lord almighty when our time comes. And for
that, I have no doubt that you will burn in hell for the hatred and venom
Hey, nice site (yea right).
It just further proves to me that judgement is coming upon this country
very soon, and I'm sure you're proud be be part of it's downfall.
I just thank God I am not in your shoes when He returns. (remeber the
money changers?) Whatever happened to not changing a jot or tittle? (Revelations)
about putting words in Jesus' mouth.
WWJD I know it's over used, but it's very relevant, and I really don't
think he would say some of the things you are giving Him credit for.
God have mercy on misguided people.
Disturbing Material On Landover Website
I felt that I should enform the webmaster of this site of Disturbing
Material. It seems that the creators, and writers, for and of this site
are calling themselves Christians!How dare they, when they insult Jesus
himself?! And how, you must be asking me, do the "good people" of Landover
Baptist insult Jesus? The condeming evidence can be found infesting Landover
Baptist's site, most specifically, the ridiculous article written up on
Disney's "Toy Story II." In this article, the author states: "Let's hit
these Homo Jews out in Hollywood where they live -- in their wallets. Praise
the Lord!" "Homo Jews"?? Our Christ, Jesus, was a Jew himself! He
was born, of God, into a Jewish family! Mary was Jewish! Surely, you "good
people" of Landover Baptist are not calling Jesus a homosexual! The article
itself is laughable. At the beginning, the author states: "Toy Story
II isn't polluting theaters yet, but Landover Baptist has already seen
an early script for this disgusting little movie"...yet the author goes
on to describe "The cute boy from the first movie has turned so queer and
wears so much eye make-up he looks like he should be in the cast of 'Rent'."
Surely the author does not mean that in the supposed "script" they received
from the "lone Born Again Christian" it stated that the boy would be "queer"
and wearing "eye make-up"? I, a SAVED CHRISTIAN, saw this movie.
It was not as the author described. Buzz Lightyear remained a loveable
spaceman, not a "turbo-activated hand-held rectal-stimulator with two rotating
heads worthy of Black & Decker. " And the cowboy Woody does not
spend "the entire movie spiking the other toys' batteries with powdered-Viagra."
That is a severely horrid accusation. And, worst of all, the author
of this article states the characters "going next door to rape a little
retarded girl. " There WAS no retarded girl. If Landover Baptist
DID receive some sort of "script" from a "Born Again
Christian"..perhaps they should question the motives of their informant.
Perhaps it was the informant hisself/herself that created this...putrid
Be glad that I don't start in on the terrible, perverted way that Landover
Baptists authors have twisted the innocent movie "Dinosaur," or the incredibly
laughable review on "The Grinch." Wake up people, and realize that
the filth is in your own minds.
re: www.landoverbaptist.org <http://www.landoverbaptist.org> Gentlemen
(and I use that loosely) Your site is a travesty of all that is holy and
good in the Christian
church. To use the name of a main line Christian church as a
vile representation anti-Christ is sinful. Maybe there aren't currently
organizations in this country to govern your liberties taken, but there
is in heaven. And, trust me, He will have is day with all of you
A Disgusted Christian,
When I was directed to your site, I was not prepared for the sick ungodly
misrepresentation of Christ Jesus that I have ever witnessed. How you can
claim to know God at all is beyond me. You are a disgrace to everything
our Lord Jesus did for ALL men. I am ashamed of you and your shame certainly
has been made known to all as you broadcast it so proudly on your website.
You think God is altogether like you in your sick bigotry. He has nor will
He ever Condon hatred and division and attacking any who are created in
His own image. The only satisfaction I have at viewing your webpage, is
that you will stand before God and give account for this act of hate toward
your fellow man. You are a pretty twisted lot out there, it is clear you
continue to serve your real father who is the devil.
I came across your website and I was wondering if you could send me
any information about your college. I am currently in the process
of looking at several Christian Colleges. One of the colleges that
I'm looking at right now is Bob Jones University. Is your school
anything like theirs? Please email me with any information you can provide.
You people are a bunch of ignorant, sexist, racist, egotistical, no-life
losers who are trying to sway good people from their own salvation just
so you can add them to your numbers! You people have no idea and should
be ashamed to call yourself Christians!! I myself am a Christian and would
consider it the epitimy of blasphemy to even think about listening to the
amount of stale, out-dated propaganda-like BULLSHIT that you freaks are
displaying to the innocent. Anyone in their right mind who actually
listened to any of your shit would instantly (and rightly) label you more
full of disease-ridden crap than a 60-year old hooker's puss-secreting
Save yourselves from yourselves
(you need it!!!)
Thank you for your Landover website, I have now been fully convinced
to be a Liberal. Your website is completely immoral. Shall I start from
1. That not all people are equal
I don't even know how to begin to tell you where this is wrong. Black
people, asians, women and anyone else who can breathe, think, and speak,
is a person, and therefore is equal. How can you say a Black person is
not equal, he breathes and thinks also, does he not?
2. That god is completely uncaring, and that he will punish us in the
Well then, why would we believe in god if all he is going to do is punish
us in the afterlife?
3. That homosexuals are bad.
Some homosexuals are the result of pedophile rape, and cannot help being
the way they are. How do you presume to answer that... that they rejected
the lord by being raped? I think not.
4. That Tampons are evil
Yes, making sure blood doesn't stain our clothes is evil
5. That haloween is evil
Well, most kids enjoy Haloween for FUN, churchy. They don't care about
the underlying meaning.
6. That you are god's folk.
Wrong. Your a christian religion remember? What's the first 5 letters
of that? Hmmm..??? Christians are people who follow the teachings of christ,
which were to be kind to his fellow man, which you are clearly not. Oh,
by the way, if you did correctly read your bible, Jesus was a Jewish person.
Yet you hate the Jewish, and therefore I have come to the conclusion that
you hate Jesus.
Thank you. Your website has given me the inspiration to become a huge
Central Intellegence Agency
How can you be true christians if on your own web site, it says,"unsaved
not welcome"? Your duty as a true worker of god as you claim to be
should be to spread gods word to every one not keep it for yourselves.
I think ya'll are just a cult that worships George W. Bush instead of God.
And to Judy Christian or whoever wrote to Freakylinks.com, you should be
ashamed of yourself. Did you know that by setting judgement on others,
you condemn yourself to Hell. Only God can judge and you are by no means
A God. I myself am Baptist and I am ashamed to be because of people like
ya'll. Freakylinks is just an entertaining show, not a hoax to salvage
our "great" country into homo's and Devilworshippers. Those things were
even talked about in the bible, if you've ever even read it. The show is
not gonna change a thing. Wake up and quit judging. It's not your
place to. I am a very southern girl and my moma always said,"If
you ain't got nothing nice to say, then don't say it at all." I hope that
this will open your eyes to what a true christian thinks. Oh! and if you
don't like something on t.v. then don't watch it. And one more thing
The jews have been fighting since bible times so god did not tell you "he's
READ THE BIBLE !!!!!
All I have to say, is that you guys say you're true Christian's but
true Christian's don't tell people that they're going to hell or whatever.
You can't tell people that. Aren't Christians suppose to be forgiving and
stuff like that? You guy's are condemning everyone just because they don't
believe the same as you!! And, don't try to tell me I'm nt a Chistian or
whatever, because I know I'm not, and don't tell me I'm going to hell because,
I'm not going to change my beliefs just because you tell me they're wrong.
You guys suck. Your mockery of the Faith is a disgrace to yourselves
and our freedom of speech.
YOu Guys are all full of demon crap. Get a life. You have no shame!
YOU guys really need the Lord.
To the nut-jobs at Landover Baptist,
Not to sound like a jackass, but you are seriously pathetic.You are
an infestation on this planet, one which I patiently await the demise of.
I am a 15 year old boy, still growing, maturing, and learning, and I can
confidently say that I am collectively more sensible than all of you put
together. How can you dedicate your lives to such an obvious lie? How can't
you see?, that Christianity is just an elaborate and ancient hoax, made
up by a group of bleeding hearts a rough 3500 years ago to make those gullible
enough to believe it nicer to others or face the penalty of an "eternity"
of damnation. HA!! So I will propose my challenge to you if you and your
so called "God" are brave enough to take me on? Any argument you wish to
put up against me, I will gladly take on an beat. Whether it be on the
creation of the universe, or what happens after death. Also note, if you
are so low as to alter this message and lie to your foolhardy "followers",
you will be debunked as cowards and frauds, and will forever prove that
not only is your religion a lie, but that you know and conceal it!
Write back anytime.
Dear brother in Christ?
My heart is heavy. I don't think I can qualify to be a
member of your organization. I can't win a person to Christ
once a week or once a year, or ever. The Holy spirit is the only
one who can draw that person to God not thru my words of persuasion.
As for our Baptist Church in El Paso Texas, we would like to have a sign
out front in big letters "Sinners Welcome" I love you in Christ as all
that are lost. I pray that I don't give Jesus another black eye.
The end time is coming and my prayer is for all to know Jesus. Be
all things to all people so that some may be saved. Church is not
a resort for the saved but a hospital for sinners.
To Whom it may Concern,
I visited your site for the first time this evening and I was really
happy to see some of the things on your site except when I got to the top
of the page and read unsaved not welcomed Just so happen I am saved and
I didn't take that so hard but in order to live right you have to have
a postive outlook on life and about believing in christ. There are many
people in this world that has never even been to church or ever seen the
bible. Can you tell me that your christian, if you can you need to remove
unsaved not welcomed. Do you welcome unsaved people to your church or do
you even witness to the unsaved in order to be saved you have to believe
and your site could really be a saving site if you just changed your slogan...Maybe
to FREE TRIP TO HEAVEN.........DETAILS INSIDE.......OR UNSAVED
WELCOMED MY GOD LOVES EVERYONE!
Richard & Teresa
Dear pastor (if you can truly call yourself that)
VERY unfortunately I stumbled on your website by accident and was at
the VERY least horrified by what I read. It seems you and your group of
Vigilante "Christians" have forgotten the most basic principles of Christianity...love,
forgiveness, understanding, compassion, peace, hope etc.... Rather than
trying to "scare" somebody into being a Christian, you are supposed to
win them over by showing them how much more appelaing a life through Christ
is. You are supposed to show the basic principles I mentioned earlier rather
than beat them over the head with such utter nonsense as blood splatterings
and women using tampons (i refuse to even discuss how asanine this was).
Your group seems to be more of an occult that a Christian organization.
I hope you and your lost sheep see the err of your ways before you "scare"
people away from you and Christianity for good. Please pray about this
- deep down I'm sure you realize you are going about "soul saving"
the wrong way - God is NOT in this...at all !!!!
Carey McKee, an extremely concerned Christian
You people are the sickest motherfuckers on the face of this earth!!You
make me ill! You have the audacity to judge others when you say things
like"hell is full of 'injuns' ?!"If anyone is destroying this world, it's
people like you , you SICK FUCK!!!! I SPIT on you!!!!!.
Your little church must be a sick joke Satanists are using to thrash
Christians. I ran into your website and couldn't help but laugh at
what a unchristian-like, pathetic website it was. If you define what
is "saved" then I want no part of that. The "unsaved not welcome".
That sums it all up. Let's see, during Christs ministry didn't he
see the lepars and say, "their no good, I don't think I'll help them out."
Please tell me this is a joke and that you are a Satanic demon in the depths
of hell. If not a joke, could you send me some good collectibles
from your establishment (i.e. t-shirt, stickers, etc.) Thanks.
I am a born-again Christian who thinks that your website is absolutely
evil! You're making fun of Christians, and you're making fun of God. The
Bible says that if you mock the Holy Spirit, that is the sin that God cannot
forgive. Even though you put out a website making fun of Christians, I
want you to know that God STILL LOVES YOU and He wishes that you would
go to Him, repent and have a relationship with HIM!!
Hello, I am afraid that this is the most UNCHRISTIAN thing that I have
ever seen! The unsaved are NOT welcome in your
church???????????? Almost everyone is going to HELL?????????? How
can we bring people to the lord if we tell them that they are not welcome
in our curches if they are not saved? Do you base this on anything that
comes from the Bible, or do you use your own Bible?
Your very own website seems to place your materials ( ie your camous,
swiming pools, circus camp, etc) at a veru very high priority.
Why does such a Christian comunity need soo many POLICE?
I also challange your remark that you have no products
that are not made or manufactured by born again christians!
I can not continue.
I must send your email address to each and every
Christian, as well as every Baptist church and ministry that I can locate.
You FINE your folks? Sounds Christian enough to
Who is going to HELL?
I'm just curious as to your reasoning on creating a parody of Christianity.
What exactly is the point of your site other than to harass pretty much
Nic and Chris
First of all let me say, " You have to be FUCKING kidding me." Brittney
Spears had not a thing to do with this little girl. It was her own mind
at work. A video can not make a girl do such a thing. Also I hope you all
go to HELL for passing judgement on others. Again you the "faithful" ones
are the ones at wrong.
Dear Pastor Smith,
I too am a fundamentalist Baptist - Hallelujah for the Jews believing
in Jesus! It has been the experience of our Churches out west that while
more and more Jews are finally understanding that Jesus is THEIR Messiah
foretold throughout the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible, not all of the new
Believers remain committed because of having to give up their traditions.
I am bringing this to your attention because of an article on your website
"Jews Repent and Receive Christ,..."
Jews are finally coming to their senses," a Landover Baptist official
told the press on Tuesday, "You can expect this to set off a chain reaction
among Jews all over the world. We continue in our prayers for the Jewish
people daily, praying that they deny their heritage and traditions, throw
off their Judaic Devil loving ways, cut off those offensive little things
they have hanging from the sides of their heads, and join a Bible believing,
Fundamentalist Baptist Church." (emphasis added). Landover Ministries is
taking a step forward in welcoming each of our new Messianic Jewmembers
with a hog-roast on the lawn.
The majority of the Jewish Traditions ARE Scriptural and commanded by
God Almighty (except the sacrificial ones since Jesus was the ultimate
sacrifice for our sins). Jewish Believers in the Messiah are still required
to observe the Torah - meaning, things like dietary Laws still apply (as
to what is clean and unclean, or "Kosher") However, Gentile Believers in
the Messiah (called Christians) are NOT obligated to the same laws.
WHY am I stated these things? Because the recently converted Jews that
believe in Jesus will maintain their commitment and will be less likely
to backslide if they can maintain their God-inspired/commanded traditions
(that don't conflict with the New Testament).
We must, as the Body of Christ, respect the Jewishness of Jesus, and
the fact that the Bible Jesus read was in fact, the "Hebrew Bible" or Old
Testament that we find in the King James.
We have found that learning some of the Jew's traditions in honoring
the Almighty Alpha and Omega, that our understanding of the New Testament
is richer and far deeper and our understanding of HOW utterly and completely
Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament prophecies. This gives a common knowledge
and common ground to build a bridge to more and more Jews looking for the
TRUE Messiah, Jesus/Yeshua.
Yours in Jesus' Service,
E. Sabatier, Central Baptist Church
hey, what's the point in what you are doing? Obviously
you are trying to divert people from coming to Christ, but anyone with
half a brain would realize you are just a bunch a sick freaks with nothing
better to do.. you all need help and I will pray for your souls..\Jesus
will win... I just don't understand why someone could be so evil.. Jesus
died for you.. and this is how you repay Him... you are sad..
I for one, who was raised in a Baptist family, am
sick of every little thing being accused of having demonic messages by
hypocrites like you. You so called "holy people" are so blinded by your
lack of understanding that you instantly crucify anything that isn't exactly
in alignment with your beliefs. I know all about the Bible and what it
says about keeping "the temple of God" holy and separate from the world.
So, if we are supposed to be in and not "of " the world, why don't you
keep your noses to yourselves? I mean, after all, your little template
on your website says that the unsaved are not welcome. Well, doesn't the
Bible say, "Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel unto every nation"?
Why don't you open YOUR eyes and realize that just attacking movie ads
and miscellaneous items is not what God wants us to do? We are supposed
to go OUT and lead people to Him, not sit at our websites and snipe others
at a safe distance. You specifically scrutinize any ad, and look for anything
that is supposedly evil -- well, what have you accomplished? Any nonbeliever
would laugh at your pettiness, and go on living the way they always have.
You give Christians a bad name and I am ashamed to be stereotyped with