LOS ANGELES, CA - Talking Parrot Preaches Gospel To
Millions, Asks Only For Cracker In Return:
A curious Malotoon Brazilian Chipitee Parrot is thought to
have learned not only the plan of Salvation, but a large portion
of Scripture from an estranged Missionary in Amazonia. After
3 years of astonishing South American churchgoers, the
parrot was smuggled to America in 1991 by renound Botonist
and New Tribes Director Frank Hersh. Undergoing a 2 year
crash course in English, the parrot (who simply calls himself
"Willie") was led by the Lord (in his own words) to a whirlwind
tour of English speaking churches worldwide. It is unclear at
this time the exact number of souls "Willie" is responsible for
leading to the Lord, but experts estimate that it's in the 8
figure range.
A recent article in American Christian Magazine
expressed concern over the 'cult-like' following that "Willie"
has developed. Hundreds of young people have given up
everything to follow "Willie" wherever he might lead them.
His followers adhere to a strict diet of crackers and water, and claim that it is a form of
'fasting,' that draws them closer to the Lord. One youth stated "People think it's strange, they
think it's weird that we should be devoted to someone who preaches the Word of God, and only
asks for a cracker in return. I believe that "Willie" is a sign. He is a sign that these are the last
days. When animals start speaking God's word and going off to be missionaries because
humans are too lazy or caught up on their own self-interests to do it, then there is something
wrong, not with "Pastor Willie," but with people who claim to be Christians."
In any case, Christians around the world are flocking to see Willie the Soulwinning Parrot,
some claim that they were healed by touching his feathers. "Willie" fanatics argue that each
colored feather represents a different kind of healing. The blue for spiritual, the red for health, the
green for financial, and the yellow for psychological healing. If your church wants to enlist "Willie"
for a speaking engagement, than you'd better act fast, he is booked up 3 years in advance.
Pastor Smith of Landover Baptist Church in Freehold Iowa was lucky enough to get Willie to
speak at his church. "He won souls I thought were lost for good," stated Rev. Smith. "We were
so impressed that we had a stain glass window erected in his honor. It depicts Willie perched on
the shoulder of Jesus Christ as he preaches the Sermon on the Mount."
"Willie" is currently in China, where he is working hard at mastering the
Chinese dialect, "At least enough to deliver the plan of Salvation," he
stated at a recent press conference. Christian manufacturing companies
worldwide are hard at work delivering "Willie" related products to the youth
of the world. Hats, stuffed Willies, feather bracelets, and crackers are
popular items in many Christian bookstores around the country. If your
child is lucky enough to have "Willie" sit on his or her shoulder and talk
about the Lord, and accept a cracker from their hand, consider it a
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