|[<Home] [<News Archives] July 1999|
On Saturday Evening, May 29th 1999, The Landover Baptist Church suffered a direct attack from Hackers. Our Mega-Site was shut down for a period of 4 days. Members were forced to survive on a commercial message board, undergoing attacks from liberals, atheists, Catholics, Satan worshippers, nut case Christ haters, Anglicans, and Kookismatics. All of these attackers are under suspicion for hacking, and are currently being investigated by the FBI.
We have been informed by the Federal Bureau of Investigation that the Landover Baptist Church, The Senate, and The FBI, were all attacked by the same group of hackers. This event only serves to clarify that the Landover Baptist Church is one of the most powerful influences in America. Folks see us as another branch of government, to be respected or hated. Whatever the case, we have been pummeled into a media frenzy. Our Head Pastor, Rev. Ebeneezer Smith makes the following statement to the press: "The Landover Baptist Church is not afraid to preach against modernism, we ain't afraid to preach about Hell, we ain't afraid to let the Jews know they killed Jesus, we ain't afraid to say that a janitor without a police record is hard to find. I say to all present here today that we are unashamed to preach the truth. Some folks don't like to hear the truth, I can't say I liked to hear it when I was a lost two year old, headed for Hell. I will tell you now, we won't stop proclaiming the message of non-conformity to the world, we won't stop wading up to our necks in the sea of politics, and we sure as heck for heaven's sake won't let up on Landover's ministry on the internet!"
$25,000.00 worth of tithe money has been set aside as a reward to the
individual who can lead us to the person or persons responsible for
hacking into God's Kingdom on Earth, The Landover Baptist Church.
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