November 2004

The Latest Product Line From Landover Baptist

60 Second Sermons

The Incredibles: Not Nearly as Incredible as My 100% Real Flying Super Hero, Jesus!

Pastor Wilkins Takes a Trip to the Theater

I took my grandson, Willy, to see the new Pixar film, The Incredibles, thinking there was no way the homosexual animators in Hollywood were going to taint a super hero movie with their lewd smut. Brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus, was I ever wrong.

The minute that Mr. Incredible put on his skin tight costume, it was clear as day to me. His little cartoon penis was hard and snug in that thing, pushed up real tight and easy-like against his belly. I didn't even have to say anything to my grandson. He was the one who asked, "What's that, Grandpa?" I smacked him on the head and said, "That's my business!"  Then I called Macel in the lobby and had her come and pick him up while I went back in to watch some more of the Devil's handiwork. What I saw was enough to turn the stomach of any God fearing Republican Christian in this Holy Nation!

You could see every crease and crevice, every nook and cranny, every hair and every hole coming through those skimpy little demon red super hero costumes. Jesus was a super hero too! And you didn't see him wearing any skimpy outfit! He was layered in heavy cloth garments. I bet you'd have had to pull back three or four layers of the Lord's bath robes before you got to his private area. Now that's a super hero! Kids outta be watching Bible cartoons instead of this nonsense! At least it's all true! Jesus is the only super hero who could ever fly! He walked on water, and He could move mountains. He healed the sick and demonically afflicted! Phooey on today's modern rip-off of the only True super-hero there ever was, Jesus the Christ!

To sit in that theater watching people laugh and giggle, thinking nothing of the debauchery occurring on the screen in front of them, made me want to get up and smack one of them. I'd have liked to smack one of their kids too! Whack one of those ignorant little unsaved children across the head with a King James Bible. That outta knock some sense into them!

I thought after the election, it would be safe to go to the movies - apparently I was wrong! We've still got 48 million perverts running around out there who didn't vote for President Bush. I tell you this, brothers and sisters; this world will not be safe until every single one of them gets their sorry unsaved rumps into a Bible believing church and gets their head down in the word of God, not the "word of Hollywood." Either that, or find yourself another country. This country belongs to Jesus Christ, thank you very much! Now get out!

I don't even want to write about this sick movie anymore. A little sissy boy in a Speedo jumping on his gay daddy's back, running around to save the world. Save the world from them, for God's sake! Uppity female super-heroes with great big cartoon breasts popping out of their costumes, bobbing up and down in front of my grandson's innocent little eyes! I say, enough! Please, Mr. President, hold these people accountable for this trash! We helped get you elected, now do your part!

I recommend staying home with your children and reading some true stories out of the Holy Bible, until we get control over what is going on in Hollywood. It should be fairly soon, God willing. Until then, stay away from movie theaters.







Copyright 1998-2007, Americhrist Ltd. All rights reserved. Terms of Service
The Landover Baptist website is not intended to be viewed by anyone under 18

Click to Visit the Landover Store!

As Seen on Network Television: Wear Nasty Bible Verses
Biblical Wisdom Gear!

Like the Site?  Buy the Book from the Writers of Landover Baptist!
Click to Get Our Godly Book!

Value T-Shirts in the Landover Baptist Store!
Click Here!