November 1999

Hog Roast to be Held in Honor of Jews Who Converted to Christ During high Holy Week

Delivering People From False Religions

To God be the glory! The prayers of millions of Baptists around the globe resulted in the conversion of nearly 255,000 Jews during a blasphemous Hebrew holiday called 'High Holy Week.' They have confessed with their mouths and believed in their hearts that they have been misguided for nearly 4,000 years.  Most have already taken the next step in applying for memberships at Bible believing Baptist Churches across America! They are eager to start praying for other deceived members of the Jewish faith.  Godly Christian Americans everywhere are excited that we can finally stop using the inaccurate and politically correct term "Judeo-Christian" when we talk about our nation's history. Everyone knows this country was founded by Christians, and the dreidel spinners had nothing to do with it.

Landover Pastor, Deacon Fred was personally responsible for winning over 2,000 Jews to Christ during the recent Holy week. "I had to do my part," Pastor stated, "Fellow preachers at the Southern Baptist Convention were counting on me to use my unique soulwinning abilities to start the ball rolling." Apparently Pastor's powerful 'salvation by any means necessary' evangelistic techniques were enough to start a fire in the heart of many a Jew who missed the first coming of Christ. "My concern here is with the Jews who will die and burn in Hell forever for rejecting Christ." Pastor remarked. "God can't hear their prayers because they killed His only Son and refuse to repent. They make God sick and since God lives inside of me, I often get physically ill in the presence of a Jew." he added, "It is my Christian duty to win as many souls as possible before I leave this planet and head for Glory. Often times it is hard, stressful work. It is my calling though, to suffer for the sake of the Cross.

Many Baptists found that Orthodox Jews were eager to abandon their faith, based solely on the integrity and commitment of sincere Christian prayers. 215 Jews in East Texas lined up in front of First Baptist Church in Dallas, literally begging to get in and pray for the wall of ignorance among Jews worldwide to be lifted.  "This is a sign of the Last Days," one pastor noted, "when Jews were focusing on spiritual concerns during their blasphemous and so called "High Holy Days" the Holy Ghost of God Almighty came in and shuffled the deck of cards in Christ's favor."

"Jews are finally coming to their senses," a Landover Baptist official told the press on Tuesday, "You can expect this to set off a chain reaction among Jews all over the world. We continue in our prayers for the Jewish people daily, praying that they deny their heritage and traditions, throw off their Judaic Devil loving ways, cut off those offensive little things they have hanging from the sides of their heads, and join a Bible believing, Fundamentalist Baptist Church." Landover Baptist Ministries is taking a step forward in welcoming each of our new Messianic Jew-members with a hog-roast on the lawn. For those who prefer seafood, there will be an endless supply of 'all you can eat' shrimp! 



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