GODLY THANKSGIVING




Teachers Punish Stupidest Students by Making Them Play Injuns in Thanksgiving Pageant

Child Rearing

Freehold, Iowa - In order to teach Junior High School students at the Landover Baptist Academy for the Saved a valuable lesson in humility, teachers will force all disruptive, failing, and below average students to dress up and play the role of savages in this year's Thanksgiving play. "This is going to be a real hoot for all the Godly students who have worked so hard to get good grades," said Junior High School youth group president, Jimmy Higglesworth. "We're going to paint their behinds red, and laugh till we can't breathe while they jump around on stage like stupid monkeys, going -'woo whoo whoo! I'm a stupid Injun who wants to rape a white woman and get drunk for the rest of my life!"

"This is just an absolutely wonderful way of teaching young people what happens to lazy failures who expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter," said Pastor Deacon Fred. "American Injuns, who have been troublemakers for centuries are the best representation to teach these little fools a lesson!"

"It isn't enough that the Injuns gave our Godly ancestors the small pox virus," says teacher, Becky-Sue Cordell, "We still have to deal with these terrorists today as they continue to plauge our society with alcholism, gambling addiction, incest, drug abuse, and just plain everything that ain't about Jesus! I hope my stupid students learn a lesson from all of this! Study hard and follow the rules you rebellious little morons! or as I always say - end up like a lazy Injun!"

"Maybe standing around in front of their little classmates naked, throwing corn cobs at the Baby Jesus and chewing on raw squirrels will teach these lazy students what happens to unmotivated people," says another teacher. "They wind up drunks with all their land taken away from them! The hell-bound heathens!"

The Landover Baptist Junior High School Thanksgiving Play will take place in the main auditorium for ten consecutive nights beginning on November 14th. Parents of students who performed below average this year will be asked to attend each showing. At the end of each performance, the parent will be required to stand on stage and apologize that their child has performed and acted like a lazy, stupid Injun in school and they will let the audience know that they will hire a Jewish tutor over the next semester so their child doesn't end up gambling their life away like a bare-footed, feather-headed, savage!

 

 

   


 



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