Godly Costume Recommendation

As every True Christian knows, Halloween is a Catholic High Holy Day (called such for the use of opiates in most Catholic rituals) when priests and nuns throughout the land light candles and incense to bring the relics of their so-called saints back to life.  Once these buried bones, shrunken heads, vials of semen and Mary’s breast milk are summoned to life by Lucifer, they are sent out into Godly communities to try to scare Bible-believing Christians and take their wallets and purses.  For this reason, in 1994, the Landover community passed a law banning Halloween and Catholics.  Unfortunately, after the arrest and imprisonment of over 350 so-called “trick or treaters” under the age of 10 and the shutdown of two Roman Catholic parishes, the liberal Iowa Supreme Court sided with Lucifer (as usual) and made this ungodly Catholic celebration of Satan’s birthday once again legal.  But True Christians are fighting back and making Halloween a victory for the Lord Jesus.  

When little Nathan De'Angelo puts on his Halloween costume this year, it won't be used for ungodly trick or treating. It will however, be used to put the fear of the Living God into any unsaved child that might pass his way. Mrs. Larry Rice, owner of the Biblical Costume Shop at The Landover Baptist Jesus Mall, Firearms Gallery and Food Court, says that the Holy Ghost Halloween costume is on back order. "We sold over 200 in one day," she said. "It is the most frightening costume I have ever seen, and when you add the blood, severed demon head and the giant axe, it enough to send a shiver down your spine!"   

Little Nathan De'Angelo told his teachers at Landover Christian Academy: "Me and a bunch of other kids are going to win souls with our Halloween costumes this year." He went on to say, "we are going to find some unsaved liberal kids with devil costumes and present them with the gospel. If they refuse to accept Jesus, we are going to tear off their costumes and burn them right there in the street! If we can't get their costumes, we are going to beat the devil out of them. And take their candy as a love offering for the glory of God!" 

"What an exciting night this is going to be!" Pastor Deacon Fred told the congregation last Sunday. "I am behind our children 100%. The Holy Ghost is going to attack Satan on his own birthday. We, as adults, should admire Godly children like Nathan who have the guts to stand up for their faith. These sweet kids are living out the words of Jesus when he said, 'I came not to bring peace, but a sword!' (Matthew 10:34). I think a fist works just as well as a sword when it comes to doing battle with real live demons!  If a little six-year-old girl thinks it is cute to dress up like a witch, then she needs to find out what happens to real witches.  Maybe she’ll change her little mind when she ends up in the bottom of a well or under 150 pounds of rocks.  Children need to understand that when you embrace Satan, you are invoking the fury of Almighty God.  And anyone who reads the Old Testament knows that God loves to kill children -- even without a reason.  So these crafty children who thumb their noses at God by dressing up to please Satan are playing a very dangerous game." 

The Holy Ghost Halloween costume was designed by Mrs. Satin Macy. "I was visiting my son at the Landover Baptist Home for the Demonically Possessed in North Dakota last May when the idea came to me," she said. "I designed the costume that very night, and used it on some of the demon possessed kids the next day. You should have seen the looks on their faces when the Holy Ghost came into the room with a giant axe! I said 'Boo!' and one of the little devils nearly jumped out the window," she noted. Several children soiled themselves and were subsequently deprived of food to avoid such a disgrace from reoccurring. "If the Holy Ghost Costume can scare demon-possessed kids, just think how much it will creep young unsaved liberals, Nancy boys, Tom girls, and Jews. We're doing the Lord's work!" 

"True Christians know that the Devil's Birthday is no joke," Pastor Deacon Fred said. "We have had it with Satan! We have had it with his Clinton/Gore army of demons trying to ruin the world with their liberal media! I gotta tell you folks, Halloween will never be the same! Our kids are not playing games anymore! This October 31st, Freehold Iowa better prepare to get spooked by the Holy Ghost!" 

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