Exposes Perverted Little Cartoon Character
Complete shock filled the
Landover Baptist main sanctuary last Sunday as Pastor Deacon Fred
revealed in graphic detail, decadent hidden sexual messages in the
popular cartoon series, Sponge Bob, Square Pants™.
Sized Satanic Doll Serves as Masturbation Toy for America's Youth!
Young children are being
seduced by the character of George Lucas' latest Star Wars Movie. Jar
Jar's soothing voice, and timid childlike manners, seem to lure young
teens into a world of lustful abandon...
Satan's Little Cotton Fingers!
A Godly woman is only to use a
Maxi-Pad," Mrs. Crockett stated. "Why, they even have them
with little angel wings now! I handed her a box and told her unless she
wanted my handprint across her face she was never to...
Make Believe World of Harry Potter is Driving Children to the Edge of
All True Christians™ believe
that Harry Potter books challenge both saved and unsaved children to
create demonically inspired worlds in their innocent little heads. We
also believe that...
Energy Drink Turns Senior High Bible Study into Godless Sex Orgy!
Mrs. Huxton came home and found
empty cans of Red Bull scattered across the living room and her son,
Timmy, trousers dropped to the ankles, humpin' away at the cushion arm
of their Lay-Z-Boy sectional couch like a demon-possessed jungle
Penis-Shaped Toy Marketed to Pre-Teen Girls!
Shortly after overcoming the
initial shock of seeing an actual Aquapet for himself, Pastor Deacon
Fred ordered the Creation Science Research Center to begin investigating
the penis-shaped toy immediately...
Lyrics Found in Suicide Note!
13-year-old Penny Hestridge,
feeling rejected by a member of the acid-rock group N'Sync, wished the
cruel world a good "bye, bye, bye, bye" in a suicide
note found at her bedside...
Television for Pedophiles
Nickelodeon’s Rugrats, made
to look like a children’s cartoon to divert the attention of
mainstream society, is nothing more than an obscene skin flick created
to satisfy the most vulgar and depraved cravings of society’s most
deviant sex addicts...
"Poke Yourself, Satan!"
Earlier this week at Landover's
Wednesday evening service, children's pastor Marty Richards told 714
kids ages 2 through 10 that Pokemon is evil and was sent to this planet
under direct orders from Satan himself...
Year Old Girl Learns to Have Sex by Watching Brittney Spears Video!
Martha Evans, an 11 year old
strumpet, had her little harlot hiney dragged before court last week for
luring filthy foreign men to her "Little Mermaid" decorated
Penis Found on Grinch Doll!
A quiet family dinner at the
Gillman home turned into a nightmare from Hell on Sunday evening when
little Matthew Gillman, innocently playing between the legs of his new
Grinch toy, peeled back the green hairs....
Martin's Music is Getting Christian Girls Pregnant
Ricky Martin's latest song,
'Living La Vida Loca' (Landover linguists translate this as 'Livin' for
the Devil' in God's English), is causing young girls to have sex and get...
Actor, Billy Crystal, Stars as Talking Green Testicle in New Disney Film
You may be able to get a
roomful of unsaved drunk Jews in the Catskills to laugh at your scrotum,
Mr. Crystal, but Jesus isn't slapping His knee over this one!....
Lucas Commissions Jar Jar Candy Sex Tongues
His latest Jar Jar Binks toy
contains a 10 inch push-up tongue made of strawberry flavored candy. The
tongue is shaped like a male sex organ. It is hard, and...
While most Americans pick who
to worship each Wednesday evening from a list of 97 pound teenage sluts
and high school dropouts on their TV screen, Christians instead are
still picking Jesus Christ, the King of Kings, as their favorite deity...
Christian Rock Stars Too Sexy for the Lord?
Creation Scientists at the
Landover Baptist Center for Youth Studies have been kind enough to
provide a quick reference guide in case your unsaved schoolmates ever
question you about so-called Christian rock music...
Tales Releases Product in Poor Taste
With the release of
"Larry, The Singing and Dancing Cucumber" toy just a few weeks
ago, it's become quite clear that the Veggie Tales Corporation is
involved in a more sinister agenda....
Music is to Blame for Everything!
Innocent American Christian
children are being recruited into the Negro lifestyle faster than Jesse
Jackson can make up a new word. Christian experts say...
A Sissy's Version of God's Menacing Horrors!
Instead of turning to the Holy
Bible to find out how the ever resourceful Lord dismembers and hacks to
pieces His beloved children that rub Him the wrong way, kids are turning
to cheap imitations...
the Vengeful Japanese Using Pokemon to Launch War on America?
Only an unsaved idiot would
believe the Japs forgot about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. As Godly Baptist
Christians, we recognize that the Japs have been planning to invade
America since the day we humiliated them...