Orders All Who Love Him to Crash Satan's Birthday Party:
Our amazing and helpful Halloween links teach you how to protect your Christian family
from the coming demonic onslaught of skateboarding Wiccans, Devil Worshippers,
abortion sponsoring candy companies and general
hellish mayhem that surrounds the most evil day of the year: HALLOWEEN: Satan's Birthday!
Tips for Holyweeners: Will children go to
Hell for celebrating Halloween? The answer is most certainly, "yes."
But you can see your child in Heaven if you read and carefully follow each
one of the following 10 Halloween Tips for Holyweeners!
Out How Movies Like "Scooby Doo" Are Turning Kids On to the Occult:
When Hollywood released the film, "Scooby Doo," Landover was there to help
Christians understand the horrifying occult messages hidden in the voice of
a talking dog.
a Book Burning: Book burning is a Christian tradition that
goes all the way back to the book of Acts. Find out how to organize
one of these fun events in your neighborhood as a Christian alternative to
HOUSE - Evangelical Haunted Houses! Visit our latest Hell House and
enjoy an interactive tour of our online Haunted Baptist Hell House. Read
articles about how the Federal Government shuts down True Christian™ Hell
Houses - see graphic videos of Landover Baptist Hell Houses and more!
Scariest Halloween Costume in the Whole Wide World?:
Screams of "It's a
monster!" and "Where
did my eyeball roll to?" brought worried
parents running up from the rumpus room downstairs.
But it was too late.
The hideous gargoyle was already making its way
across the front lawn
Ghost Halloween Costumes: A popular Christian alternative
costume idea. Boo! It's the Holy Ghost! Read about one brave Christian child
who dressed up as the Holy Ghost and Scared the Hell out of unsaved
A Dangerous New Trend!
Ugly, Pale Faced Fat People Who Hate Christians and Use
Halloween to Recruit Innocent Children into the Dark Master's
[Learn More @ the Links Below!]
The Malevolent Roots of WICCA!
The first fully authorized and definitive chart tracing the
sinister and depraved roots of the WICCAN cult.
Turn Halloween Into a Fun Filled Night of
Wiccan Hunting!: A fun
alternative for your Christian family. Although
practitioners of the brand new made up religion, "Wicca," feed
off of Christian blood, they also flee in horror at the sight of
a Holy Bible!
Pastor Deacon Fred Addresses the WICCAN Community on YouTube:
Our Pastor speaks to the Wiccan community and to concerned citizens about
the National threat WICCA poses upon innocent children and educated
Regarding Ours and God's ZERO Tolerance for WICCCA
If you see anyone engaging in these activities, you
have Jesus' permission to fire a warning round of buckshot into the hiney of
the nearest gelatinous glob of cellulite sacrilege you see!
Wiccans Found Dead in Church Garbage Dumpster
"Talk about unsaved trash!" Pastor Deacon Fred declared to a giddy
congregation trying hard to hold back their laughter on Sunday, "I tell you
what! Those, fat, turd-gobbling
have been warned countless times to steer clear of God's Favorite Church,
WICCANS Slip Past Church Security and All Hell Breaks
"You can't tell what
sex Wiccans are because they all wear lipstick and earrings and have huge
saggy breasts," said Sergeant Huckle. "Once we get the buggers squatted down
onto an old fashioned hiney pole, we can usually tell after the screaming
Suffer Not a Witch to Live!:
What does God command us to do when we find a witch? Why, put them out of
their misery, of course!
Watch a Christian Movie like "The Blair Witch
Project": Finally! A Christian Movie
the whole family can enjoy. The movie that angered Satan enough to start a
new religion called: WICCA!
Your Child Was Born on 06-06-06 Ladies, keep your legs crossed
until after midnight. A True
Christian™ lady always keeps her knees together -- and June 6 was no time to
stop! Relive the horror of that fateful day!
Jesus Sling Little Children Into Hell For Celebrating Halloween?
"You bet He will!" says Pastor Deacon Fred. Read our Pastor's
important message about Halloween! Learn how your child can avoid
accidentally angering God by accepting candy wrapped prayers to Lucifer!
How Demons Can Possess Farm Chickens:
Satan's little calling card was the stench of mutilated
chicken coming from the henhouse. When they were finally able to pry open
the doors, they found that the chickens had been so filled with demons
Houses are Haunted by the Holy Ghost: A local Charismatic
church in Freehold, Iowa unleashes the blood curdling power of the almighty
God and sends it into an old mansion on the edge of town.
More Halloween Links from Landover
Mrs. Betty Bowers:
Halloween Both Scary and Religious: Bringing Integrity to Christian
Homemakers, a ministry of Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian, has
some wonderful Halloween ideas
Free Christian Halloween Masks: Scare the be-Jesus into dirty,
sinful, hell bound, unsaved children by wearing a True Christian™ Halloween
or Tract?: Get ready to combat the forces of darkness on the
Devil's Birthday by handing out gospel tracts instead of candy!
the "People Who are Going Straight to Hell Museum":
Take an enlightening virtual tour through an assortment of eye-opening rooms
that will leave you shocked!
How to Turn Halloween Tragedy Into a Blessing: Read about how
our church flew in hundreds of corpses from Turkey's 1999 earthquake for use
in our annual Hell House ministry.
an Uplifting Halloween Story: Learn how even little
kindergartners helped our church win souls by volunteering to depict the
horrors of Revelation in the October 2000 Hell House.
About Demon Hunters: Read about how our own, Rev. Mitch Walker,
trapped a 3 1/2 inch succubus in a bird cage with nothing more than a bread
crumb and a roll of paper towels.