Welcome to Landover Baptist's, "Kristian Kids Korner," a safe haven for Christian kids, surfing the web. Enjoy hours of Godly fun as the Holy Spirit steers you away from liberals, Demoncrats, Cathylicks, and disgusting pornographic smut. 

Why Did Jesus Have Long Hair Like a Homo?
If the false images of Jesus with long hair are a stumbling block for you, then just tear them out of your Bible. For a more accurate example of what Jesus would look like if He were walking amongst us today...

Did Men in Bible Times Really Have Balls as Big as a Donkey's?
The Bible is certainly full of wonderful amazing facts, but accepting the fact that most folks lived to be over 800 years old is a whole lot easier to swallow than believing that every man in the Bible walked around town with giant donkey-sized tallywhackers and balls the size of grapefruits!

Why Does God Hate Trailer Trash?
Indeed, tornadoes have long been referred to by True Christians™ as “the twirling fingers of the Lord,” which He uses to poke and scratch at scabs and obliterate things that displease Him...

Will I see My Grandpa Naked After the Rapture?
Well, the answer is quite simple.  In Heaven, there'll simply be no need for genitals.  Our guess is that the Lord is pretty disgusted after having to watch...

Do Retardeds Go to Heaven?
As I always say, it is not for us to question how the Lord gets his kicks, but basically, unless your retarded, deaf, dumb and blind sister finds some way of understanding that Jesus died for her sins...

Why Doesn't Jesus Just Zap All the Evil Doers?
The book of Jeremiah tells us that one day Jesus will kill so many folks who rub Him the wrong way that the whole planet will be covered with rotting corpses. Hold your nose, Ralphy! Christians like us will have to step on decayed carcases just to get to church...

Did the Lord Jesus Ever Get Zits?
Fortunately, one of the biggest selling points about being a conservative Christian is that a silence in the Bible is an invitation by God to start making things up!  So, I am sure that if the Bible were...

Do Pets Go to Heaven?
According to the Bible, there will be no animals in heaven except for horses. And those horses, the book of Revelation tells us, will be used solely as a means of transportation...Click Here to Learn More!

Does Jesus Watch Me Go Poopy?
Jesus knows that toilet time is also a dangerous time for young ladies like yourself – filled with horrid temptations of the flesh. After all, this – along with shower time – is one of the only occasions when True Christians™ have a legitimate reason to be briefly touching their filthy sex parts...Click Here to Learn More!

Why Did Baby Jesus Give the Injuns Tiny Tallywhackers?
I'd like to smack your parents' empty heads together. It amazes me what passes for Christian conversation at America's dinner tables. Click Here to Learn More!