Kids Korner!

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Welcome to Landover Baptist's, "Kristian Kids Korner," a safe haven for Christian kids, surfing the web. Enjoy hours of Godly fun as the Holy Spirit steers you away from liberals, Demoncrats, Cathylicks, and disgusting pornographic smut. 

How Comes The Obama Gets To Be A Presidents?
Mr. Hannity was talking about our Lord Jesus as usuals and then brought him up a picture of the gang city rapper he called the Obama... Learn More!

Why Did Jesus Have Long Hair Like a Homo?
If the false images of Jesus with long hair are a stumbling block for you, then just tear them out of your Bible. For a more accurate example of what Jesus would look like if He were walking amongst us today... Learn More!

Why Does God Hate Trailer Trash?
Indeed, tornadoes have long been referred to by True Christians™ as “the twirling fingers of the Lord,” which He uses to poke and scratch at scabs and obliterate things that displease Him... Learn More!

Will I see My Grandpa Naked After the Rapture?
Well, the answer is quite simple.  In Heaven, there'll simply be no need for genitals.  Our guess is that the Lord is pretty disgusted after having to watch... Learn More!

Do Retardeds Go to Heaven?
As I always say, it is not for us to question how the Lord gets his kicks, but basically, unless your retarded, deaf, dumb and blind sister finds some way of understanding that Jesus died for her sins... Learn More!

Why Doesn't Jesus Just Zap All the Evil Doers?
The book of Jeremiah tells us that one day Jesus will kill so many folks who rub Him the wrong way that the whole planet will be covered with rotting corpses. Hold your nose, Ralphy! Christians like us will have to step on decayed carcases just to get to church... Learn More!

Did the Lord Jesus Ever Get Zits?
Fortunately, one of the biggest selling points about being a conservative Christian is that a silence in the Bible is an invitation by God to start making things up!  So, I am sure that if the Bible were...Click Here to Learn More!

Do Pets Go to Heaven?
According to the Bible, there will be no animals in heaven except for horses. And those horses, the book of Revelation tells us, will be used solely as a means of transportation...Click Here to Learn More!

Does Jesus Watch Me Go Poopy?
Jesus knows that toilet time is also a dangerous time for young ladies like yourself – filled with horrid temptations of the flesh. After all, this – along with shower time – is one of the only occasions when True Christians™ have a legitimate reason to be briefly touching their filthy sex parts...Click Here to Learn More!

Why Did Baby Jesus Give the Injuns Tiny Tallywhackers?
I'd like to smack your parents' empty heads together. It amazes me what passes for Christian conversation at America's dinner tables. Click Here to Learn More!

Did I Once Swim Out of My Daddy's Privates?
As a Christian youth, you are justified in taking whatever means necessary to escape from that awful public school - whether that means cutting class, damning your teacher to Hell, or conducting a mass book burning in the library.... Learn More!

 

Republican Children Just Like YOU Have Some Serious Questions About The Obama!
It's insightful to read how the little ears of Jesus interpret what they hear through Satanic secular media  Learn More!

Learn About the Dangers of Pokemon
Did you know that the Japanese created Pokemons (pocket demons) to distract you from the Lord Jesus Christ? If you are a Christian, and you are playing with Pokemons, you are playing with the Devil's fire!  Learn More!

Learn How to Report Mommy and Daddy to the FBI!
Thanks to our anointed President, George W. Bush, and his tongue-talking Attorney General, John Ashcroft, it is now easier than ever for Christian children like you to turn your unsaved parents in to Federal authorities  Learn More!

Check Out the "White House For Kids" Page!
President George W. Bush and First Lady Mrs. George W. Bush are tickled pink to provide boys and girls like you with all manner of fun, informative, and strictly non-partisan games and activities. Click Here to Go There Now!

 
Scary Bible Creatures!
Create Your Very Own!
No, Baby Jesus, No!
Read Baby Jesus Comix
The Homo Handshake
Learn to Spot a Gay Boy!
Skate as the Lord Jesus!
Get a Free Playstation 2!
Fun With Harry Potter
Organize a Book Burning!
 

 

 


 

 






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