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Get a Free Frozen Turkey by Accepting Christ as Your Savior!
This offer is a stand-alone opportunity and may not be used in conjunction with any other Landover Baptist Salvation Offers. This includes the Playstation 3 offer, the Free Phone Offer, and the iPod Nano offer. Extra shipping costs will apply to Turkeys weighing over 70 pounds...
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"Why Do Injuns Have Red Skin Like Satan?" - View Children's Crayon Art From the Winners of the National Baptist Kids Thanksgiving Art Contest!
Christian History students at Landover Baptist Academy for the Saved were given boxes of crayons and each asked to draw a picture that would help stamp out the PC Liberal lies about Injuns being polite and helpful guests at the first Thanksgiving. The best drawings are posted here for your viewing...
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Injuns Threaten Christians Even From Beyond the Grave!
The only reason the remains were so well-preserved was the fact that each Indian had apparently drunk more than 4,000 times his body weight in alcohol during his lifetime. "Some of the remains...
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Teachers Punish Stupidest Students by Making Them Dress Like Injuns in Thanksgiving Pageant!
"This is just an absolutely wonderful way of teaching young people what happens to lazy failures who expect everything to be handed to them on a..."
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VEGANS: Modern Day Witches
Witches have learned a lot since the days of the Puritans. They’ve learned that if they show their hideous faces in public, it won’t just be their warts we burn off. So, they’ve had to go undercover...
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Injuns: America's First Terrorists
Long before America was attacked by Muslamiacs on September 11, 2001, Baptists recall a time when our dear, Godly ancestors also endured brutal slaughter by terrorist vermin on this very same land...
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Forget the War on Terror, We've Got Ourselves a Farm Full of Demon Possessed Turkeys!
Demons which visiting Pastor Needham had intended to send into a herd of pigs according to the Bible verse, Matthew 8:31, inadvertently entered hundreds of thousands of squawking turkeys at...
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Why Did Jesus Give Injuns Small Penises? (Christian Kids Wanna Know!)
Since the Bible doesn't talk about Injuns, we have license to apply our Christian logic to Genesis 6:4 and surmise that Injuns are the bi-product (just like the 'Japansies') of abnormal relations between human females and giant demons who were cast down from Heaven along with Lucifer after...
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Local Injuns Asked to Stay Away From Thanksgiving Festivities
There will not be an Injun presence at the Baptist Pilgrim Play, nor will there be any Injun costumes or dress worn by anyone. "We are going to celebrate Thanksgiving the right way, God’s way...
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Thanks to Our Efforts, Millions Will Starve to Death Knowing Jesus Christ as Their Lord and Savior
Most countries have had a chance to hear the gospel thousands of times. There is Christian work to be done here at home. American and European Christians are among the most persecuted...
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Thanksgiving: A Wonderful Day to Tell Injuns About Jesus!
No group of people in the United States is more qualified to comment on the savage nature of American Injuns than the members of the Landover Baptist Church. Having arrived in the country that God ordained for us in the year 1612, many...
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Hog Roast to be Held in Honor of Jews Who Converted to Christ During High Holy Week
Many Baptists found that Orthodox Jews were eager to abandon their faith, based solely on the integrity and commitment of sincere Christian prayers. 215 Jews in East Texas lined up in front of First Baptist Church in Dallas, literally begging to get in...
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Why Don't Injuns Celebrate Thanksgiving? (Christian Kids Wanna Know)
To this day, Injuns are still jealous of God's True Americans™. They are constantly scheming to take back their "so-called" land. They make a living out of corrupting decent Americans with gambling, booze and the occult lure of their tribal drums...
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Rebellious Child Unthankful For Having His Teeth Knocked Out by His Dad After Thanksgiving Dinner
"I'll give him something to cry about!" It was then that Mr. Wilkins invited his other sons over, saying, "Come over here boys! Let's show your little sissy of a brother what happens...
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Ex-Injun to Deliver Thanksgiving Sermon
Little Chief Running Red Butt, as Landover Baptist church members still call him, was converted to Christ after four days of electro-shock treatment on the cold wet floor of his demon-deprivation chamber  in Landover's facility in North Dakota...
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Church Members Donate Useless Junk to the Needy as Tax Year Draws to a Close
The arrival of December not only signifies that there are only 24 frantic shopping days until Baby Jesus' birthday, it also means there are only 30 more days to find tax deductions...
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Don't Let Those Feather Headed Pilgrim Killers Ruin Your Christian Thanksgiving
These are the same so-called, 'people,' who killed our Godly ancestors and used their scalps as sanitary napkins for their squaws," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "And they still refuse to apologize....
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American Christian Heritage: The Lost Treasure of Slavery
Everyone here knows the story of the first Landover Baptists - how they traveled in three boats across the Atlantic Ocean in 1612.  Them boats was chock full of first edition King James 1611 Bibles, stolen right under the nose of...
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The Landover Baptist Historical Society
In spite of my serious allergies to mould and paper-born mites, I humbly serve The Lord and this Congregation by sifting though boxes and boxes of old photographs...
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