Landover Baptist Mail Received September 2002  (unedited and in original form)

I agree with a lot of what you say but you have to know that you come off as a complete nut case!


I can't believe the way you have your website set up! "Serving the Saved"? Excuse me, it should say "Serving God." I mean, that's why we're here to serve God each day & to preach the word to others who do not know Him. Unbelievers can't visit your website? In other words, if they want to know about God & check a website out, they come across yours, they need to kindly "SHOO?" I don't get you people!! You know what, you're using the word for your own benefit, for your own beliefs rather than what the Word is REALLY talking about.

Usually, when a person is passing away the last words they leave behind seem to mean so much then anything else they might've said in their life. Well, guess what? When Jesus spoke to his disciples one last time before ascending into heaven, he clearly stated that they needed to spread the word everywhere, especially the unsaved.

You people disgust me as a Christian. In the tabernacle that I attend, that's right tabernacle, like the Word says. In those days, it was known as the tabernacle, a place for the church to worship. that's right for the church to worship, meaning us, the children of God. As children of God, we need to spread the Word everywhere & to anyone. None of us are worthy & for you people to categorize that the saved are only allowed in your church & the unsaved are not doesn't make any sense. God works in mysterious ways. We had a married couple once come in to fellowship with us & they were unsaved. Guess what? We welcomed them with open arms & thanked them for visiting. Guess what? This couple is now saved & serving in the tabernacle with us.

How do you know if someone isn't saved? What you have some kind of a detector within your church that you use for every single person that comes to visit?

When the time comes, I hope God has mercy on you for what you are doing because Jesus said, Come as you are. That means if you're a murderer, a prosititute, etc. do you think he cares about that? He looks at the heart & if the person lets Him in He will dwell there.

You know what, I'm stopping right here, I could say more, but I feel it won't change your ways. I'm disgusted with you people & if the pastor is reading this it's unbelievable how you can categorize certain people to come & others not to come & learn about God. It's a shame. You people need to pray harder & make sure you're talking to God & not the enemy....

- einfante

You stupid bible thumping asshole. Unfortionatly u are fucking with the wrong religion. U need to get it through your sick twisted head what jesus christ is teaching. Does it say in the bible to burn all those not of this religion? NO! I hope u burn in the hell that u so fervently belive in for the "christian" sins u have committed. U are sick, and u need to find serious help. i hope u find out what the real salvation is. U will burn.

Blessed Be,
Your death is iminate


Just an hour ago I read some of your articles and I thought this was I joke site and quite a funny one. I see now that either you have a very sick sense of humor or you are crazy. Personally I don't believe in God but if there was one I assure whoever is getting rich of people fanaticism would be the first to go to hell! You teach kids to discriminate against Jews and homosexuals. You try to gain money by creating ridiculous claims. Examples: Harry Potter kills his own parent. This would be impossible because he was a one year old. Pokemon translates to pocket monsters not pocket devils and they don't have red eyes or forked tongues. Also this $5000 dollar fine imposed on someone for owning a toy. Are you blind it a way to get money not to punish the so called "sinner." And being Jewish I find being compared to a cockroach very insulting. I might just buy that book to show you all the lies and hate in it! I loath whoever is getting rich off peoples beliefs and I pity those who believe these hateful lies! If the person who receives this e-mail actually believes in these hateful teachings I implore you to take this to the people in your community. Have you ever really even ever met Jew, blacks, or homosexuals??? There not any different then you or I. I wonder if you show this to whatever manic leads you what will he say. Probably that I'm a devil myself. And I also wonder how filthy stincken rich he has gotten out of other peoples faith. I implore you get out of this hateful group and lets you kids grow up in a place where Jews and gays aren't hated. Take a good long look at yourself and ask if yourself if you have faith or hate. A real physiologist not a Baptist one could easily tell. I truly hope this is a sick joke!

PS I will continue to e-mail you until a get some sort of explanation of your sick behavior. Also note thank to many accounts of child abuse I just might make the police aware of all the crimes going on in this quaint little community!


Do not presume your entrance into heaven by beating up your neighbor as you do. You will be judged by the love in your heart not some bastardization that you call Christianity. You have made Christianity like Islam, legalistic, judgmental, and, and, no wonder so many will not listen to your soapbox. You do not have it right.

Paul paul.s 

My name is Michael Thibodeaux. I am a 25 year old white female. In the course of my life I have visited many churches and lent my ear to many different views I have been enlightened and in some cases perplexed by the things people believe however this is acceptable to me because though I have no will to belong to any set of people, especially a church that is governed by fallible men, I do follow and live by the same Laws that God through whatever bible you choose has laid down. You through this website have allowed me to know that I SHALL NEVER ENTER YOUR CONDEMNED CHURCH from this moment on I shall pray for the people that follow you. After reading the remarks made by The deacons of the Landover Baptiste Church I am sickened. The remarks I read in the article covering "Was Jesus Black?" were not only clearly racist and small minded but decidedly disgusting. Your words show to me the heart of a cruelly misguided man who himself is rendered impotent by fear and prejudice. Grow up man.

You more than likely, coming from America as you do, have the blood of a black man or woman running in your veins as it is. You can run even further back in history -maybe even to the time of Jesus himself -and I will tell you now that your blood is not free of the "TAINT" of the black man any more so than the black people that you run across on a day to day basis. Who so ever follows you and those that agree with you are guilty of being fools. Of course that is my observation however were I you I would wonder hard about what gad himself thinks of petty beliefs.

Absolutely Michael Thibodeaux - --- Chris Fleming

Wow, I am completely blown away by your belief on Methodism. Not only is your opinion completely unfounded, I am completely and utterly offended. I am a Methodist and my beliefs are fully grounded on Biblical foundations and I dont believe that anyone is truly good, and that the only good in us is God when we accept Jesus and the Holy Spirit enters us. That was quite judgemental of you to say that Methodists are not Christians and are not saved because I know that I am. Ive read the Bible and I know what it takes, and all it takes is Jesus. It makes me sad when i see your website because to me you are doing more harm than good to the Christian faith and community and actually turning people away. I hope that you respond to people with love, whether people or saved or not and no matter what walk of life they are from, because that is what Jesus commands us to do. And from what ive gotten from your website, you are exclusivists. Im not trying to judge you, but i am offended as a fellow Christian. And as a Christian we are told to humbly and gently help guide other Christians to the right path. And thats how i feel about this, although, you probably still dont regard me as a "Christian" since Im a Methodist, but I know that when I die I will be with Christ because I know he is with me now!

Jessica Walker

I tell you this!!! The gospel written in the hand of Paul the apostle by the Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ was given freely to all men!!!!! Don't be caught teaching one word of this gospel for your wallet!!!! or you prostitute the Word of Jesus Christ for your own good!!!!!! the Word declares in Romans 16-25 Paul calls this his gospel....HIS!! he should be getting a fine reward for all those 50.00$$ sermons right?? I hope you are not selling the word of God?? Hell if not for Paul what would you have??? and if not for Jesus what would Paul have??? "Freely as you have received freely give" Im sure you know who said this?? what do your works in Jesus earn you?? He said "if I be lifted up I'll draw all men unto myself" and also " no man comes unto My Father but by me" .....what soul have you saved?? what man is obedient by his own accord?? Tell me pastor what is the Law of the Spirit of Life ( described in romans chapter 8-2)?? If you say it's the work of the Spirit of the Lord saving man from bondage which leads to the law of sin and death, your don't know me....but you prayers will be met....and there will be works among you in the Spirit of the Lord!! keep your eyes peeled and hold on!! it might get wild!! you believe in the power of Jesus don't you...well then expect the unexpected. I hope you all don't use money and fines to null the sanctification work of the Spirit of Jesus...If so you might want to consider your own salvation....I mean man is not saved by works......Im sure you know Ephesians 2-8 ??? And I wonder are you racist toward black people?? you know if you are, the one who calls on Jesus is under His lord-ship. You surly know John 3-16 ???.... He says " who so ever believes in the name of the Lord shall be saved"...who so ever, meaning anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! black, white, gray, old, young, what ever!! I hope your not racist ?? for what kingdom divided against itself can stand ?? You should know where that's at. It also says that from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.... I can see allot that is being said in your site is not of God...For one thing if lust has been destroyed in you and cleaned out by the Holy Spirit, a tampon should not induce a sensual or lustful temptation at all!!!! as a matter of fact if you mind is controlled by the Spirit of God (Spirit of Grace) you won't even take a thought that leads to the sinful nature..this is also described in Romans chapter 8-6....then why would you need a fine for sins???.. I thought Jesus paid the price?? Im not saying His death is a license to sin. You fill in the rest if you can?? As iron shapens iron, one man sharpens another. Let's see how sharp you are??

Willaim Carter 

Having just read your article on the Grinch toy, I have to say that I am thoroughly digusted with your protests against the toys genitalia.I believe that there is nothing at all wrong with explaining the tools that God has given us to the younger generation.I believe that the boy must have,unless there is something your article(so tactlessly entitled "Action now")isn't telling us.Don't you have a penis?If you do,its probably the same size as the aforementioned dolls!Just because yours isn't green and furry,you Fascist bastard!You disgust me!Without reproductive organs,how could the "Grinch" carry on its species?It is just simple sexual education!

Yours e.t.c,
Edward Mathews Ed Mathews

I already knew that the church was full of frustrated bigots repressing deep seated hatred for society in general. However your website has enlightend me to the fact that there is no hope of salvation for people like yourself who posess no moral or ethical grounding whatsoever except for the belief that you and your fellow 'followers' are better than the rest of the world. To put it politley I hope you all 'rot in hell'...... Thanks for your time

Damir Vrdoljak

we need you mailing address and area code zip code telephone number and directions to the hell house. please write back soon martha

Annie Gardner

I cant believe that anyone who is so focused on God wastes so much time finding problems in cartoons! They are drawings, get over it. i have yet to see this scooby-doo cult you speak of. i watched scooby-doo for years i am not a devil worshiper, gay, or otherwise effected by a CARTOON. if you want to find "hidden"meanings I think that landover is perverse LANDover why don't you bendover?? normally people who are so homophobic are usually gay them that where you get landover??? ii thing Christians should take less time reviewing cartoons more time reviewing child molesting priests! fine something real to focus your time on and maybe those boys that got molested by these priests won't grow up to be in the scooby-doo cult, and if they do, i don't a cartoon dog is to blame. and lastly rather its in a cartoon or in real life DOG will always be GOD spelled backwards....i sure hope none your God fearing family's have any of these EVIL dogs in their house.


First of all I am saved so that means my letter is welcome. I have been saved for six years. But I would just like to say how appalled by your statements not only about the Green Mile but in your website as a whole. You called Tom Hanks a homo and whether or not he is, is none of my business but what you are expressing is not a religious attitude. In addition on your website it says," all who are saved are welcome, if your not go away" could you be anymore evil. The whole idea is to spread the word of God and his love not to send people to hell or tell them that they are not worthy to know gods word. You are a pastor now but probably were not when you were a child. God says we were all born sinners because of the sins of Adam and Eve, now if you or your parents were to come to this website or even your church you would probably not be a pastor now. I hope that I did not offend you in any way and if I have somehow misconceived your statements please write back. Thank you and God Bless.


you are a cult and do not preach the Jesus of the 1611 kjv bible

john watson 

I think that you people are the dumbest people that I have ever heard of. Paying to got o church is the most outragious thing I have ever heard of. You should be happy that Gods mercy is so strong that he is currently giving you a chance to change, to be honest I would just wipe you and al the hate you have spread off the planet. You dont have to worry though your seat in hell will be waiting and it will be free!!!!!!!!!


Medications do not send you to Hell, however, judgment, misquoting the bible and misunderstanding the bible, whereas misleading people in their Christianity, another word for blasphemy, might put you in jeopardy. We, as Christians "not GOD fearing People" sometimes have chemical imbalances. The Lord as our creator, knows this, due to us being written in the palm of his hand, he knows our makeup very very well. Not only is he the creator of all things he is the creator of solutions. I think that your website reflects your ignorance of you knowledge of the bible and also shows your very very poor "personal" relationship with the Lord, are you familar with the phrase "missing heaven by 16", move your relationship with the Lord from your head down to your heart and you will may have a better shot at the golden gate. Please spend more time in meditation and listening rather than speaking and judging Christians. The only one able to judge is the Lord himself. Thank you for your uneducated information.

Two Lord loving "not fearing" Christians


I really want to thank you for your website. I wasn't sure about my particular beliefs anymore, but your website definitely set me straight. I now fully believe. I fully believe that people like you should be imprisoned for brainwashing gullible people. I fully believe that if your god is truly as you say he is, then I would rather take another route. A malicious, egocentric, mind changing god is not my idea of someone I would want to worship. I fully realize that you will probably twist my words around to suit your needs (as you seem to do throughout your website), but that is your prerogative. Don't you think, however, that you should ease off on telling innocent students in school to sabotage their school systems to further your own cause? Whoever is the brilliant mastermind behind this fraud and deception is a twisted and sick individual. Casting demons out of babies?!? Take a look in your own mirror. There is your demon!

Thank you for allowing me to air my beliefs. Please feel free to respond and/or challenge my convictions. I doubt that I will hear from you because you do have your little brainwashed group following your every command. I really do pity you, and I especially pity the people who believe the garbage you are extolling. Have a nice day.

Mick Mohr 

"If you send an e-mail submission to this site, you are certifying that you are 18 years or older and you are granting The Landover Baptist Parody Website a worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive and fully sublicensable right and license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform and display your submission (in whole or part including your personal e-mail address) and/or to incorporate it in other works in any form, media, or technology now known or later developed."

Then so be it! You people are TRULY whacked! This site made me laugh my ass off seriously! Speaking of butt plugs and anal people seriously need to try them.....get off for once, and remove the huge thorny stick you have shoved up there! Maybe you could all stroke yourselves to rid your lives of all this tension you carry around. The God I worship loves me DESPITE my sin, he doesnt expect me to cower in the corner from all these earthy sins...GET REAL!

Lori Schoen 

I don't know what your website is all about, but I find it disgusting and ludicrous. I understand having fun or making fun of things - Christianity as a whole is cheap and a joke in the United States. But that is by no fault of the Holy God, and it is absolute blasphemy to publish stuff like that in the name of Jesus! You are taking the Holy, precious name of Jesus and dragging it through the dirt, forming a God to suit your sins. I don't know where you stand or what your real beliefs are, but I can assure you, if this is what you believe, you do not know the Living God, meaning you, along with Buddhists, Muslims, Mormons, and all the others will spend an eternity in hell! Thing is, as opposed to you, my heart bleeds for those who do not know God. I am not happy that there are those who will perish. The real Bible says that He is the only way, and it is not His desire that ANYONE perish! Thanks for reading this. Anonymous Missionary

Uneed Salvation 

i am looking at my NIV 1corinthians 6:9-11 and it does not say the crap you have on your website. also it does not say its printed on fetal tissue. my question is why would you put slanderous nonsense on your site? who is your father? God or the evil one? i will say a short prayer for you now, but slandering the word of God is something I believe you need to ask for forgiveness yourself.

Laura Laura

You need a course in child abuse and simple LOGIC. Sure, yaw think Iím some demon, ok, come out and exorcise me you fatass child abusing fucks!!!


Pastor, Dear pastor:

I read your "no unsaved welcom." That is one ot the most nonChristian point of view I have ever heard. Your attitude to those who are lost does nothing for the Kingdom of God. I, as a True believer in Jesus Christ, whose sins have been forgiven at Calvary, know that Jesus does not have such a hateful attitude toward lost folks. Listen, I am a believer, and I read your website. You need to revise your attitude through the Bible. Read Gallations 5:22. You portray a hate for lost people, even though you say you evangelize to thousands per week. It does not make Christian sense to evangelize (with Love) and yet, not invite someone who does not know the everlasting Love of God, my Father, to witness Christian Fellowship. Listen, I read a book by Josh McDowell, and, one segment of the book illustrated this rather clearly. A anti-Christian walked into a Christian service or seminar, and, having seen the Love among those Christians, the lost person said, "...surely, those people are not the enemy." Is that not awesome? Lost people need to see the love of God working among fellow believers! And yes, most importantly, we need to be witnesses outside the confines of the church building. But, we ought to never ban a lost person from setting in on a service that worships God? You never know where that person has been, and you may not know where that person is in his or her life. And most importantly, they may be searching for something other than what is presented to them in this world, and in a church (where God's Love abounds) may be that individual's only opportunity to hear the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

Pastor, please consider what I have said. I love God with all of my heart, and I have seen folks come to know my Lord Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior in my church. Just read what I have written again, and pray about it.

Thank you for your time.
Joshua J. Richey
Concerned Christian

Hi, my name is Min.Jones of Covington Tn. and I was just browsing through your site and have a few questions. The first being if the unsaved are not welcomed into you fellowship and praise who is and if they are not welcomed how will they be saved? Second your comment on Billy Crystal I wonder how is it that you call him ugly, if you are the leader of an earthly flock you have just taught them that talking about people is alright. Now, I am a Baptist and understand where you are coming from when you speak on Methodist but in the same since we are not here to judge. So I just thought I would share my veiws with you please respond. My you and your flock prosper properly.


Your site is bull shit. Go to hell you blaspheming mother fuckers.

Antonio Sablan