The family called church security, and officers arrived shortly thereafter to remove the disgusting little toy. It was quarantined for two days before a team of Landover Baptist media experts could have a close look at it. "Make no mistake," reported Dr. Jonathan Edwards, "This is not just a tangle of little green hairs. This is male genitalia. It was willfully crafted and appears to be 'part' of the toy itself." Pastor Deacon Fred spoke at a news conference the next day. "We have some sick minds in Hollywood, folks. I think this is a Disney movie and probably a Disney product, so you can bet some homosexual or Democrat in Florida was behind it." 

As a result of the incident, the Gillman family was forced to pay a $5,000 fine/tithe to the church since they had in their possession a product from a restricted movie.
 

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"The liberals who run Disney denied responsibility, as they always do," Dr. Edwards said. "But we True Christians have had it with their satanic agenda and we must stand up to protect the children!" A Disney spokesman refused to comment for this article, other than to blame a "manufacturing defect" (which is, as any True Christian knows, an admission of guilt).

"They (Disney) told us that the Gillman family saw a one-eighth inch plastic "flashing" where the two torso pieces of the toy are joined. This open admission is a victory for True Christians. The manufacturer is telling us in 'legal talk' that they had purposely designed the toy for 'flashing' little children with its nasty gangrenous penis!"

True Christians nationwide are poised to begin a boycott of any stores carrying this obscene, satanic "toy." Our next president, George W. Bush, is going to take things like this VERY seriously. We can only thank God enough Americans were smart enough to vote for him!

Please help Landover stop toy stores from carrying this disgusting piece of merchandise. Send us a check or money order of $100 or more by clicking here.  Part of the proceeds will go to support the Republican party.

 

 

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