Our ongoing battle against the forces
of evil, manifest through J.K. Rowling and her
homosexual hero, Harry Potter, are documented and updated on
this page when the Lord Jesus calls us to do so.
The Make Believe World
of Harry Potter Is Driving Children to the Edge of Insanity!
Progress Reports in
Our Battle Against the Forces of Darkness (for full memo and action
alert - scroll down!):
JESUS YOUTH Memo Regarding Release of Half-Blood Prince - July 2009:
Our "Extinguishing the Half-Blood of a Prince With the Full-Blood of the
Lamb" campaign kicks off on July 15. Landover Baptist's JESUS YOUTHS
will be visiting local public theaters wearing t-shirts and jeans
(disguised as secular, unsaved trash). Each night in July during the
release of the Satanic film, "The Half Blood Prince," JESUS YOUTHS
will be armed with fire-extinguishers filled with compressed lamb's
blood. "Our brave Baptist youths will innocently approach theater lines
and spray unsaved moviegoers with the warm blood of the Lamb. They'll
shout the name of Jesus and throw Chick Tracts into the dazed crowd,"
says Pastor. "They need to run like their dickens are on fire after witnessing time
is over because they are outreaching for Jesus outside of church
property! And there might be
some unsaved police officers about! Church vans will be waiting a
quarter mile away from each theater to escort JESUS YOUTHS back
to the Main Sanctuary for a de-brief with the Board of Deacons.
Then it's off to Friendly's for 20-minutes of ice-cream
fellowship. Parents of JESUS YOUTHS participating in the
"Full-Blood of the Lamb Spray" can pick up their kids on the corner of
Soulwinner's Lane and B.R. Lakin Blvd. at 8PM weeknights. Permission slips
are NOT required for this outreach event.
Each Church member with a child
between the ages of 9-14 (who is not out of town on a Luxury Christian
Family Vacation) is required to participate in this event at least 3
evenings a week until August 30.
Emergency Memo -
September 2008: The Landover
Baptist Board of Directors approved $17.5 million in church tithes to be
directed to the "Center For Ongoing Background Check of J.K. Rowling."
Funds will be utilized to assist our two church Deacons who have been
riding the train between Manchester and London every day for the last
7-years. "Our research brings us closer to finding Hogwarts every day,"
says professional Christian Mole, Creation Scientist and church Deacon,
Dr. Henry Finkle. "We've put together over 100 thousand pages daily trip
logs, and conducted nearly 5 interviews," he states. "We also found a
lipstick canister that we believe is linked to Rowling."
Emergency Memo -
In early May we will be holding 24-hour prayer vigils and hourly book burnings
outside the Freehold Iowa Multiplex Cinema. Bring your children for this
exciting time of healing and cleansing as we witness for Jesus with picket
signs and old fashioned bullhorn preaching. God wants us to prevent
every unsaved person in Freehold, Iowa from from seeing the new Harry Potter
movie, "The Order of the Phoenix." Our pastors already gave the
movie a sin-screening and they tell us it is one of the most deceptively
wicked pieces of Satanic filth to ever grace their Godly eyes. We expect over
2,000 church members to be on hand to block the theater entrance on the
release date. If you feel God is calling you to stand with us and suffer
public persecution and humiliation for His namesake, please visit the church
secretary to let her know your schedule for the next month. And if the
way into your heart is through your tummy, we're proud to announce that the
Ladies of Landover will be preparing pot-luck dinners, and Chick-fil-A will be
sponsoring the event and providing daily lunches. We hope to see you
Emergency Memo -
July 2005: The Ladies of Landover are
holding a midnight prayer vigil on July 15th outside the Freehold, Iowa Barnes
and Noble. True Christians™ across the state of Iowa will be
practicing civil disobedience as we block the entrances of every major
bookstore in the state. We are calling upon all believers everywhere in
God's country to take up the cross of Christ and flop your body onto the
pavement or lock arms with your brethren to form a love link in front
of a bookstore to prevent ignorant unsaved people from purchasing Satan's new
Harry Potter book: The Half-Blood Prince. If you see anyone with
this book in hand, shout, "Fire on you! in the name of Jesus!"
Snatch the book from them, toss it to another Christian brother or sister and
put flame to it as quickly as possible. Make sure you hand the person a
Bible to replace the Half-Blood Prince and tell them to read that instead.
Emergency Memo - June 2004:
While Hollywood prepares to release another installment of
Satanic filth in the form of "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban,"
True Christians™ are working to raise awareness among unsaved filmgoers that
recent events at the Iraqi Prison in Azkaban can be no coincidence.
Satan has timed events in Iraq with the release of his latest film as a
marketing gimmick spawned in the deepest pits of Hell. Church members
are asked to pray steadfastly that President Bush will not allow this film to be
released in America.
Emergency Memo - June 2003:
Churches to hold all night prayer vigils to counter thousands of Harry Potter
Black Masses being held across America! National Bookstores to release
the Devil's latest manuscript at midnight! Pray for our children!
With each new release, a seal to Satan's Lair is opened. This is the
fifth seal! Be vigilant! The time is at hand!
Emergency Memo - November 2001:
Landover Baptist Pastors encourage Bible believing
churches across America to
return to their roots, and re-institute the Godly early church practice of
book burning. Learn how to organize a book burning in your community - click
Emergency Memo -
Landover Baptist holds the largest book burning in American history.
Over 1.5 million Harry Potter books were burned in the church parking lot
after evening services. Reports say that the flames were so high they
could be seen from as far away as Des Moines.
Emergency Memo -
October 1999: Reports
of coven sightings in the woods around Freehold, Iowa prompt pastors to
investigate. Creation Scientists conclude that a new generation of
witches are being trained in the dark arts of Wicca through an instruction
manual called, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Pastor Deacon Fred
enlists Demon Hunter, Mitch Walker, to begin instructing church members on how
capture, detain and deprogram Wiccans.
Original Church Memo (November 1999)
Note: The following memo continues to be distributed to every
Independent Baptist Church in The United States of America on the third
Sunday of each month since November 1999. It has appeared every
year, in every Christian Newspaper (Including the Washington Times).
Iowa - This
memo is being sent to all church members and concerned Christians to inform
them of a disease that is infecting our Nation. Landover Baptist parents must be made
aware of a particularly dangerous series of books that have somehow
slipped into our children's hands, unnoticed. Lately, teachers at Landover Baptist Elementary school
have been complaining that youngsters have been prancing about in an 'odd and
peculiar manner'. Some of God's children have been stealing yellow crayons and painting lightning
bolts on their foreheads. Many of them have been hiding in boxes and refuse
to come out unless cookies and milk are delivered on a silver plate. We
believe this behavior to be far from innocent. It is absolutely and without
question, demonic, in origin.
We have traced the source of these problems to a series of best selling
books in the secular world. The Harry Potter book series is filled with
fantastic images of hell, Catholicism, sissyism, and liberalism. We are also told that there is a movie series
based on the books, and children are lining up to see it like lemmings, eager to be boot-kicked off the Heavenly
cliff by Jesus himself, into the lake of fire! The entire premise of each
book rests in the anti-Christian notion that the sissified lifestyle is
to be glorified and accepted by all. They make sissies out to be heroes,
and encourage children to escape into their own private make-believe worlds.
They encourage youngsters to run away from their problems and escape the
world by creating destructive and dangerous fantasies.
All True Christians™ believe that Harry Potter books challenge both saved
and unsaved children to create demonically
inspired worlds in their innocent little heads. We also believe that the books
encourage youngsters to run off and hide. Christian parents are telling us that their
children refuse to sit at the family table for dinner, instead they eat
their dinner behind a locked closet door or under their beds. We
are asking all Landover Baptist Church members at this time to search every room in your Christian
home for any sign of these Harry Potter books. If you find them, keep them
out of the child's reach. Put them on a high shelf until next Saturday
when we as a church body will join together in unison for an impromptu
book burning on the East lawn. After the burning, if any of these 'so-called'
children's books are found anywhere on church grounds or in the home of
any church member, proper steps will be taken to ensure your child is fully
deprogrammed from the illicit material (which may or may not include a
trip to a Russian orphanage at your expense) and you will be fined $250.00
per book. The fines are effective after the
book burning. Mandatory
attendance is required as you volunteer to help us fight Satan in his attempt to strike
at the future of Christian America by worming his way into the hearts and
minds of our precious and innocent children!
Note to all Concerned Parents:
We have it on good Godly authority that
there will be an additional book from J.K. Rowling which will reveal that the main character, "Harry Potter" actually KILLED HIS
PARENTS! with a butcher knife! If this isn't enough to raise the hair on your neck, then you need revival!
Find out what other Christians are saying about this filth
by clicking here!