The White House Department of Faith: On January 20, 2001, President George W. Bush signed an executive order establishing the United States Department of Faith (DOF). Headed by Mr. Bush's and God's favorite church, Landover Baptist Church, the DOF is entrusted with overseeing disbursement of millions of taxpayer dollars...
Ears Ministry: In
conjunction with the White
House's Eagle Eyes Program for kids across America who want to be Patriots
in Action, Landover Baptist's "Little Ears Ministry" is providing
you with an important list of signs that your parents secretly hate, not only
America, but Jesus Christ...
2 Giveaway Ministry: Landover
Baptist's PlayStation 2 comes with a complimentary modified version of the
popular disk, Tony Hawk's Underground. You can upload Jesus' face into the
game and automatically unlock all of the cheat codes to "God Mode,"
so that Jesus can win every single level...
Every Halloween, Unsaved and saved alike wait for hours in line to visit
12 horrific rooms in a Haunted Cathedral that once served as a demonic house
of worship for Catholics in the latter part of this century. Visit our
interactive Hell House by clicking on the link above!
Bible Gun Camp: Apocalyptic wilderness survival training, Bible
reading, Scripture memory contests, marksmanship competitions, Old testament
wild deer and boar sacrifices, gun care and cleaning, manly fellowship, Bible
skits, and evening super surprise game
competitions where children use tranquilizer guns to hunt...
Reparative: Lisping Surgery Ministry: Creation Science teaches us that
lisping is caused when Satan elongates the tongue. It manifests itself
by presenting a difficulty in speech associated with femininity...
the Pledge of Allegiance Ministry : The
Pledge of Allegiance is a mandatory morning prayer recited in our nation's
public and private school systems. It gives Christian students the freedom to
deliver the plan of salvation during class time and effectively shepherd...
Baptists Are Saving Homosexuals. A Betty Bowers Ex-Gay Ministry
Purchasing Ministry: Each child we purchase starts working right away on
building house cages and latrines for even more children that arrive by the
trainload every single week!...
Brother Harry's Bible Study
Brother Hardwick is considered to be the, "Bible Answer Man," by Christian elite around the world...
Golden Plate Christian Casino and Resort: “Nobody loses at The Golden
Plate Casino,” remarks Pastor Deacon Fred. “Even Mrs. Ida Jenkins who just
tithed away her entire life savings last Wednesday night at the blackjack table
didn’t really lose. Jesus has her money now..
Ministry: Many of Landover's members were actually led to the Lord
by puppets. This effective ministry is a model for any church wanting to
start one of their own...
Free Tickets to Church Ministry: The
Landover Baptist Church Main Sanctuary seats 52,187 (with standing room and
side-pew fold out chairs). Every Sunday morning service: (B.R.
Lakin Chapel, Smith Center, Freehold Baptist Chapel, Enoch Coliseum,
Bowers Towers, Servant
Sanctuary, Chapel 2...
a Heart on For Jesus: Valentine's Day Ministry: The Heart on for Jesus
campaign is sweeping the nation and cleaning up the subtle focus that
Valentine's Day places on sex...
Circumcision Ministry: By using a small mirror (unless you are
colored), you can verify that your personal member is a replica of the very
penis Jesus took to Heaven with Him...
Hotline for Abused Altar Boys: We have two Baptist Christian
counselors standing by the phones 24 hours a day who are waiting to help you.
Please be patient, one of them will be with you shortly...
Only Bus Tours: Captain Jesus says, "If you are a Christian, you are
welcome on my bus. If you are not, well then... you will have to find another
means of transportation."
Tournament Christian Gaming Map Ministry: "The
first map is just kind of a fun map where you are back in Bible times in
Jerusalem, only Jesus and his disciples are armed with modified shock
rifles," he explained. "Those of you who are unfortunate enough to
be randomly picked as an unarmed Pharisee...
Testimony Improvement Center: A ministry that allows church members
to intentionally backslide in order to gain high impact testimonies for
Bringing Integrity To Christian Homemakers. A Baptist Ladies service organization
founded by Mrs. Bowers.
Communion Party Ministry: An outreach to the Cathylick community that
uses the Lord's Supper and a natural love of alcohol, as a means to lure
folks into settings where a plan of salvation can be delivered...
Crackwhore Ministry: Compassionate Conservatism for Crackwhores. A
Betty Bowers Ministry.
Baby Jesus Comics
: Baby Jesus Comics are a great way to get God's Bible message out to young people...
Outreach Ministry Operation (HOMO): Landover extension church in San
Francisco was started in 1995 by ex-sodomite, Brother Bobby.
Abduction Recovery Center: A necessary ministry that abducts, holds,
and deprograms youngsters caught up in the Satanic or Cathy'lick Church.
Homosexual Deprogramming Ministry: Using any means necessary to turn
men loving men, into men loving women, as scripture dictates.
4 Salvation: A temporary reward in exchange for an eternal one. Using
the Devil's tools to a Godly purpose. Commercial site available.
Frezno, Christian Hypnotist: Delivering the plan of salvation while
the subject is under hypnosis is an extremely effective means of securing
one's place in eternity...
In the Cathy'lick Church: An effective ministry to the Catholic Church. Created
by Pastor John Clunas in 1996. A collection of stories circling around
a young altar boy and a priest. Folks have often gotten saved after reading
these shocking tales.
The Landover Baptist website is not intended to be viewed by anyone under 18