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Church Member Boiled Alive in Backyard Bible Skit!

Local News

FREEHOLD, IOWA- One non-Christian adult is dead and two Christian children are without skin after a backyard Bible skit ended in tragedy earlier this week. The mishaps occurred when Fernie Walker, age 6, decided to perform a Christmas play for his friends and neighbors. Because several bites from angry goats turned septic last year, Fernie decided to avoid another manger scene this year. Instead, he recruited his friends from the second grade at Landover Christian School to depict Revelation's Judgment Day in the back yard of the pond house owned by his father, Tin Level Tither Ernest Walker.

"When they first told me they was going to re-enact God's wrathful fury on Judgment Day," recalled Mr. Walker, "I just laughed like a fool. I told them it would be impossible to match the Lord's vengeful ferocity. I told Fernie that the Merciful Lord was going to throw almost everyone he knew - his little playmates and the Goldsteins up the street -- into a lake of fire! I think that is what gave Fernie the idea to try to pour all that kerosene on our fishpond. I tell you, I was amazed at what a good job my boy did at making God's wrath so realistic! He had me buy kerosene, matches, white robes, and a gold throne. He thought of everything. Praise be."

Four youngsters dressed up as damned demons began the "Final Judgment" play by pouring 48 gallons of liquid kerosene onto the Walker fishpond from a little wooden rowboat. When Jesus (Fernie in a white robe on a gold throne perched about the Walker's boathouse) signaled to the demons that Judgment Day had begun, the demons started howling and throwing lit matches out of the boat. The first five or six matches blew out before they even hit the water, causing the adults seated on folding chairs on the dock to groan in disappointment. Finally, little Betsy Jerkins dropped a lit match on an oily pool of kerosene floating near the back of the boat and the stern disappeared in a ball of fire. The explosive heat from the lake of fire was so intense that it singed Betsy's red rubber demon mask. Betsy, in a panic, then toppled backwards into the burning water. Shoreside onlookers, thinking this was "all part of the act," applauded enthusiastically. Betsy's mother, Barbara Jerkins, lamented later, "They was doing such a good job that I had gotten totally wrapped up in the play and God's glory. I mean, I had forgotten it was my daughter in that boat. I was just thinking it was one of Satan's demons. So when the fire spread across the lake, I just was praising the Lord along with everyone else."

It was only when the fire started lapping at the wooden dock they were sitting on that the adult spectators began to wonder if things were getting out of hand. "Old Thaddeus Williams was sitting up on the front of the dock," recounted Mrs. Jerkins. "One minute he was clapping his hands for glory, then the next minute the skin was melting off his palms. That is when the rest of us looked at each other and decided to leave the dock, which was starting to catch fire at that point. We all watched from the shore while Thaddeus flailed around on that dock while it went up like a bonfire. He was screaming to beat the band. It was really riveting."

Up on the roof and unaware of the chaos below, Fernie Walker, dressed as Jesus Christ, took his cue as soon as he saw the 30-foot flames shoot upwards. He got up from the gold throne, which his father had assisted in nailing to the boathouse roof earlier that day, and approached little Ronnie Mason, who was play-acting the role of an unsaved Jew. Deacon Fred Smith Jr., dressed as a Hindu, was also on the roof along with three other children, dressed as non-Baptists, who were waiting in line to be judged and thrown into the lake of fire.

Witnesses confirm that when Jesus (Fernie) commanded that the unsaved Jew (Ronnie) was to go to Hell, Ronnie started crying. There was a struggle, and Jesus was forced to grab Ronnie and throw him off the roof because he refused to jump on his own volition. Onlookers say that Ronnie caught hold of Jesus' robe, and the two were flipped backwards off the roof, landing in between two patches of fire on the water below. Ronnie was close enough to the flames for his large paper mâché Jew nose to burst into flames. Jesus' blond wig made out of yellow construction paper also caught fire as a crowd of 4-year-old children looked on and laughed.

It was an hour before neighbor, Ona Mae Moffet, weary of hearing the children scream, got out of her rocker to investigate. The Landover Baptist Fire Department and emergency team was dispatched and arrived on the scene 20 minutes later.

The following Sunday at service, an altar call was given, and all the children who had attended the Final Judgment play came forward to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. "You youngsters outta be happy that Fernie Walker had the guts to put on this play," said Pastor Deacon Fred at the service. "In my youth, I wish someone would have shown me early on what Hell was like. And your wonderful Judgment Play was a whole lot closer to God's truth than any of you little children realize. I'm going to tell you kiddies something now that will let you know that God had a hand in your little play. Did you know that old Thaddeus Williams who burned on the dock was an alcoholic? So don't any of you shed a tear over that sinner's death. I know a lot of you have been saying you have been having nightmares about screams coming out of that old man's burning skeleton, but let his richly deserved death give each of you an opportunity for salvation. Let his agony remind you of what Jesus has in store for any of you who don't do exactly what you are told. This play of yours has shown this congregation that we have young people who love the Bible and demonstrate that love in their daily lives. Whether it be putting on a Bible play or smashing idols at local Catholic churches, Landover young people are in love with the Word of God!"


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