May 2003




SURFIN' THE NET WITH JESUS!


Surfin' the Net With Jesus!
May, in the year of our LORD, 2003

Note: If you haven't done anything to get Jesus mad at you, the links will open in a new window. If they don't, consider yourself in danger of burning in HELL!

By Judy O'Christian

Hello again, True Christian Friends!

Jesus has shown me some fantastic links this month and we are anxious to share them with you!

First, let's take a moment to defend the Honorable Senator Rick Santorum (a Godly Republican, of course) for his standing up to the evil homosexurals, who make up less than 1% of the population yet pose the greatest threat to this nation since Sodom Hoosane and his Weapons of Mass Destruction! You homos out there will be forced back into your closets or into a True Christian Reparative Therapy center, you bunch of idiots!

Hooray for God's choice, President Bush! He is spreading Democracy (not to be confused with the Democrat party!). Truly he is the most effective President this country has ever had! Be sure to say, "thank you, Mr. Bush!" Now those Irak brownies will know what freedom is all about. Truly, that nation is undergoing healing after they forced us to attack, I mean, liberate, them. Soon they'll get a good dose of Christian Love and the wonders of our free-market system. It makes me proud to be an American! True Christians supported the war because God wanted it, and True Christians will be there to tell the Eyerackees all about Jesus.

Speaking of being an American, instead of a librul commie feminazi socialist traitor, have you registered to vote with the Republican party yet? Folks, avoid burning in hell--register and VOTE! God commands it, and it's your duty as an American! Don't let the libruls scare us out of taking what is rightfully ours in the Middle East, with all their whining about so-called "civilian deaths" and other hoopla. They are pansies! The libruls don't want us to have the sophisticated tools needed to stop terra-ism, and they are a danger to our Godly soldiers in the field.

And now the French and other librul terra-ists are whining about our Godly rebuilding effort in I-rak. Shut up, Frogs!! True Christian love will prevail all over the world. Shut up, libruls! We won the war, no thanks to you! And I expect you to apologize for all the hurtful things you said about our Godly President. The librul media is attacking Bush, even as they never reported anything bad about that heathen sinner Bill Clinton. What the libruls need to do is support our troops just like our Godly President is doing! Haven't you realized yet that Republicans are the party of Love and Family Values? The libruls want to stop Republicans and True Christians from meeting our goals. Quit WHINING, libruls!

Listen, folks. Don't believe the enviro-nazis or the politically correct crowd. Don't listen to HBO or the Jews or the godless libruls whine about their so-called "rights." They are going to burn in Hell and the Christian music will be so loud in Heaven, you won't even have to listen to their screams. Listen to True Christians like Rush and Bill O'Really instead! Everybody knows a Christian (Republican) would never lie, plot bad things, or commit adultery--especially not our Godly President.

Well, that's about all the links this ol' lady can handle this month.

In Christian Love,

Judy
 

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