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 62
Year Old Woman Births Miracle Chinese Baby!
Church Doctor Jonathan Edwards announces, "No eyebrows and no fingerprints..I
hereby conclude that this child is Chinese!"
Landover
To Use Real Corpses In Halloween Hell House.
To scare the living Hell out of unsaved children on Halloween (The
Devil's Birthday), Landover plans for authentic Christian Haunted House.
"You'll either get saved, or wet your pants!"
10
Year Old Sissy Caught Playing With Dolls.
"We can turn these pre-sodimites into good Christians with patented
therapies!" Betty Bowers remarked, "..we'll get the devil out of that child
if we have to beat it out of him!"
 Landover
Baptist Aquires 275 sq. Miles of Iowa Farmland.
Christians now control 68% of the Bread supply, may restrict food to
saved persons only.
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A
Word Of Warning to The Unsaved:
We have taken the liberty of requesting a restraining order on all
unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10 mile
radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave,
and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory! |
| Coming
Soon: |
| Countdown
2000. The Lord returns next year. How to enjoy yourself, and be prepared
at the same time. |
| Colored
Gal, not so colored. Church Members confused. |
| Poke'
Mon? Poke' Yourself, Satan! Just stay away from the Godly! |
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Our Christian
World:
Latino
Death Threats Made Against Landover Baptist Officials.
Church Pastor Promises Free Chihuahua and Value Meal From Taco Bell
as Peace Offering.
Satan Calls Another
Kennedy To Hell.
Ted Kennedy stated, in a grating Boston accent, "Sending pretty girls
to a watery grave is nothing new for a Kennedy.. I just can't believe he
was stupid enough to go with them."
Film Review
"The Blair Witch Project" Satan wins (as
usual) at the box office. Film Review By Mrs. Dora-Jean Hazlett.
 Congratulations
Ms. Christian USA!
Taffy Davenport Gaines Crockett wins 3rd year in a row!
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| News
Archives: Featuring important Christian News Stories
from past months. "Tampons: Satan's Little Cotton Fingers," "Children Masturbate
With Giant Devil Doll, Jar Jar Binks." |
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Visit our lovely Landover Baptist T-Shirt shop, and make a purchase. |
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Rights Reserved. Copyright 1987-99. Americhrist
Ltd. & C.Harper |
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