Republican Children Say the Darndest Things About Barack Obama!
Freehold, Iowa - National Center for Concerned Christian Children - Landover Baptist receives countless letters from curious children every month. For the last few months, nearly 80% of their letters contain questions about so-called, U.S. Presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama. "It looks like Christian parents are still raising American children with traditional values," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "It's insightful to read how the little ears of Jesus interpret what they hear through Satanic secular media. It gives me great hope in our future! I thought it would be an absolute joy to print some of their questions here on our web site. I'll bet most of our readers have children asking the same questions! If your kids are asking questions like the ones you read below, it is a sure sign that you are raising your child in accordance with True Christian™ Biblical standards! Praise Jesus!"
"Is the Obama going to send the rappers to get my mommy? - Brian Wind, Age 10, Liberty University Advanced Children's Christian Center for Learning
"I'm saving myslef for maragie, Is Obama going to make me have sex with my girlfriend and smoke marniguana and cigarittes before I'm old enough? - Jonathan Westfalls, Age 45, Liberty University School of Advanced Baptist Learnings
"Why does daddy cuss so much when Obama is on TV?" - Benjamin Talkins, Age 8, Lynchburg Christian Academy
"My daddy made my sister move away cause said she is voted for Obama. Is she going to be okay? He hit her in the head with the Bible. I am not allowed to help her because Daddy said she is no better than a Mexican and there ain't no Mexicans in this Christian family." - Cheryl Longwood, Age 14, Lynchburg Christian Academy at Thomas Road Baptist Church
"How comes a colored person is allowed to be a President?" - Sally Fisher, Age 17 Landover Baptist High School For the Saved
"Is Obama really gonna make momma get an abortion? I wanted a little brother and she promised to make one for me!" - Mark Ingram, Age 5, Home Schooled
"How is my daddy going to get his money for retirement if Obama is going to take it all and give it to the Negroes?" - Jenny Yolinda, Age 10, Landover Baptist Christian Academy for the Saved
"Does Obama have an extra bone in his ankle that makes him jump higher when he plays basketball? And is it cheating like he did to get stupid people to voted for him?" - Nancy Hodge, Age 11, Lynchburg Christian Academy
"If Obama gets elected, will the coloreds move to our neighborhood?" - Timothy Jenkins, Age 9, Landover Baptist Elementary School for the Saved
"What's a haf-breded nappiddy head negrozid comanists snoff of a beach?" Gillian Thomas, Age 6, Home Schooled
"What's a Vagina? My Creation Science Teacher, Edna Mae, says Obama will make her teach students about them and spray hers on everyone in class or else she might lose her credidations." - Willy Higgins, Age 7, Landover Baptist Junior Academy for the
"If Obama gets elected, is he going to kill all the white people or make them slaveries?" - Henry Clark, Age 14, Lynchburg Christian Academy
"Will Obama make my Daddy pay Monique more money to clean my bedroom? And can I still boss her around my bathroom alot? She's so funny looking! I like it when she always says to me, "yes 'ma'am!" - Alison Hahan, Age 17, Landover Baptist Creation Research Academy
"If Obama gets elected, is there gonna be more Negroes everywhere? Even on my lacrosse team! And in my tree-fort!?" - Hank Funkhouser, Age 11, Freehold Iowa Christian Academy
"Momma says June Gordon is voting for Obama because he has a giant penis and she likes getting rapped by Negroes. Why is a hore like that beach still allowed in our church?" - Billy Spofford, Age 11, Landover Baptist Junior Academy for the Saved
"Does Obama think my daddy makes too much money? Is Obama gonna give daddy's money to Mr. Cecil so he can buy cracked cains? Mom says Obama wants to make her stamp her food, why??? - Nancy Hodge, Age 11, Lynchburg Christian Academy
"Dad's being saying this word lots when he reads about the Obama, so how is a Neeg rahr look? It sounds scary! Is it like a lion?" - Amy Coltin, Age 4, Landover Baptist Pre-School for the Saved.
"Is Rush Limbarg gonna get Christians to stop Obama before he gets to the Whites House and takes controls of the social securities and ruins americal?" - NTodd Brewer, Age 7, Lynchburg Christian Pre-School Academy
"Does every Christian family move to Canada if Obama is elected, or is it just everyone on my Daddy's side?" - Henrietta Rutherford, Age 11, Lynchburg Christian Academy
"Are all the people who don't vote for John McCain really going to burn in hell and be poked in the hiney by demons? Grandma says it is absolutely true! She says that my Pastor, Lon Solomon, who is a messianic Jew preacher who we should all respect cause he got a big degree on his computer from Jerry Falwell's school in Lynchburg is just afraid to say it out loud because he'd lose his gold tithers in North Virginia. Grandma is the best Christian I ever knew! - Scott Prendergast Jr., Age 16, McLean Bible School, McLean Virginia
"I'm so scared of Obama! Is that dirty dark monster still outside of my bathroom window, watching me tinkle? Is he going to bite my head off and feed it to the Puff Daddy like Momma says?" - Jack Harper, Age 7, Landover Baptist Christian Academy for the Saved