These sweaty men in tight women’s underwear who can’t keep their hands off each other may be fooling the unsaved world, but they're not fooling Jesus. For nearly 50 years, Satan and The World Wrestling Federation have been conditioning the human race to think nothing of a ringside seat to gawk at perversion. Before lustful, screaming fans, depraved sissies on steroids flirt with each other, taunt each other, play hard to get, and ultimately allow themselves to be touched in places unthinkable to Christian men. Anti-Christian Ted Turner has been more than happy to use his pornographic cable empire to soil the living rooms of Americans everywhere with the sight of prancing homosexuals acting out their shameless fantasies of performing S&M, dress-up and heavy-petting before a live audience. Everyone and their mother is buying into it, hook line and sinker. A recent study by the Family Research Council of long time fans of Capital Wrestling concluded “except for a widow in Bethesda, all of these people are clearly latent homosexuals.” Many of them don't even know it, but God knows. And so do we. They watch to fulfill their perverted desires to see men touching each other in tight swimtrunks that leave nothing to the imagination. They fantasize about being "pile driven" (a homosexual catch phrase that does not require any imagination, and we dare not describe here) by their favorite wrestler. The breadth of this sweaty Empire of Sodomy defies the imagination and far surpasses any previous masterwork of Satanic deception, save maybe the Roman Catholic Church.
The Landover Baptist Church in conjunction with the State of Iowa and "Christians for Human Decency" has declared the WWF and all of its affiliates "A Danger to Society." At a press conference last week, Landover pastor, Deacon Fred, called on Christians everywhere to "take up the cross of Jesus." He said, "You might have to take up that cross and smack a 400lb homo in the head with it, but when they get knocked down, they'll finally know that they are all down for the count when Jesus steps in the ring. Amen." Deacon Fred went on to say, "Change needs to happen at home too. And it is our duty to warn poor, devoted wives that they are married to men who are on the very brink of turning to the fellow seated next to them at the wrestling match and giving into the lusts that destroyed Sodom."
Noted Christian psychologist, Charles Socarides, is a key figure in leading the fight to dismantle the WWF. "Studies show that the fans of this so-called "sport" secretly wear women's panties under their blue jeans," he writes, "They scream at the wrestlers, all the while wishing that these gigantic, sweaty beasts would climb over the rails and carry them off to a 'love nest.' It's sickening, it's unhealthy, and they are targeting children with their message of perversion."
The WWF is already shaking in its boots. They've decided to remove the term "Smackdown" from any headline. "They knew full well that the word 'Smackdown' is used in the homosexual community to describe 'a gathering of three or four catty black dragqueens to disparage each other’s clothing and hair," said Christians for Human Decency spokesman, Mark Hines. "What they didn't know, is that we knew it! And now we are letting the world know it." The WWF is also complying with a petition to remove controversial "holds" or "wrestling moves." The "ear-lobe lick," the "hiney squeeze," and the "lip lock" are the first three of ten "moves" to go.
"This is going to be a long, hard road." Pastor Deacon Fred notes. "God
calls us to force unsaved people to conform to Biblical morality. Fifty
years of brainwashing the American public, and turning normal, decent couch
potatoes into homosexual time bombs is what we're up against. By the grace
of God, we will put an end to this wrestling nonsense before Jesus comes
back." He added, "These demon possessed men can sometimes reach heights
of over 7 feet. Some of them weigh over 500 lbs! The Bible
tells us that none of this matters. God is not impressed. Remember what
happened to that oversized homosexual predator Goliath? The Lord
would not allow him to turn little David into his catamite, so David cracked
Goliath’s skull open like a hen egg. To Him, these wrestlers are nothing
more than gigantic 'sissies.' The bigger the man, the more of a sissy he
is. You remember that, when you get ready to rumble for Jesus!"
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