Win a Vacation With President Bush!
Special Offer From the US
Department of Faith
Slots Available! Enter Now to Win!
exclusive offer is reserved for Republican friends of Jesus Christ and His anointed,
duly appointed ruler of the civilized world, (pictured right) President George
you know that in order to demonstrate His indefatigable readiness and
leadership, our infallible Christian President limits Himself to a mere dozen
vacations each year, some of them lasting fewer than five weeks?! It’s
true! And with a such a
grueling calendar, it’s truly a miracle that our Godly President can
maintain His legendary between-naps stamina!
course, Presidential outings are luxurious, highly exclusive affairs with very
short guest lists. Sometimes, even
the President’s closest Saudi Arabian friends cannot join him – let alone
common sub-royal rabble such ourselves.
not anymore – because for the first time ever, the US
Department of Faith has been tasked with conducting a nationwide
sweepstakes to find seven lucky winners to enjoy the President's company on
future taxpayer-financed, month-long escapes from the fetid liberal cesspool
– and it could be YOU! So
don’t delay – enter TODAY!
in Crawford Vacation With President Bush Package:
weeks accommodations in Prairie Chapel Ranch guest house (includes
indentured Mexican houseboy!)
continental Tex-Mex breakfast barbecue buffet and Bible study
day of side-saddle horseback riding with the First Lady
days of motocross racing with the coolest Christian man ever! (GW)
day bicycle tour of Crawford with formal Presidential SWAT escort
afternoon Mex-Tex lunch barbecue buffet, Bible study and hymn sing
the President on a 15-minute flyover assessment of the latest super-cool,
radical disaster area. Drinks and hors d'oeuvres served in flight!
backgammon and charades
late-night open bar with Toby Keith square dancing and bible study
Vacation With President Bush Package:
weeks of 1st class accommodations at the Kennebunkport Estate
“PDB” intelligence briefings, accompanied by “Pat’s
Age-Defying Protein Pancakes”
week of deep sea fishing with President Bush and President Bush Sr.
afternoon Bible study with the President and Rev. Pat Robertson
the President on a 15-minute flyover assessment of the Latest super-cool,
radical disaster area. Drinks and dinner served in flight!
afternoon Lobster feast and Bible study with Reverend Franklin Graham
Gin and/or Rummy with Barbara Bush
Segway riding lessons with the President
Do I Win?
you are visiting this website, please remember that this offer
is open only to Bible believing, Truly Saved™ Christians.
qualify, please assemble a sweepstakes entry package consisting of the
of 20% Tithing Certificate” from a Bible Believing Church
of Republican voter registration card
letter professing love for Jesus Christ and President Bush
money order or cash (US dollars) to:
a Vacation With
c/o Wexler Offshore Holdings
777 Soulwinner's Lane
Etiquette requires that all winning contestants present one wrapped gift (to
exceed $2K in price), from Tiffany &
to the First Lady. Monies secured by contest entrants will be utilized
by the US Department of Faith as part of the President's efforts to promote
the teaching of Intelligent Design in
's public schools.
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