|Blair Witch Project: Satan Wins (As Usual) at
the Box Office
If I ruin the story for you, I don't care. You shouldn't go see it anyway, and if by the grace of God you are a Landover member, you are commanded to stay away from all secular movies. Yet with all the publicity this thing's been getting, I thought it was necessary to let you know the TRUTH about yet another of the iniquities Satan, Hollywood and the liberal elite have wrought.
Movie critics of the liberal media say that this movie is "Scary as Hell!" That's supposed to make people come and pay money to see it. Evidently millions of them ARE paying money to see it. And just think: most, if not all, of them are GOING to Hell anyway - FOR FREE! What WON'T these ungodly people pay to see? What they'll pay to see is sinfulness and wretchedness and snot, that's what they'll pay to see.
This movie should've been titled "The Foul-mouthed Little Politically-Correct Liberal Heathens Project."
A bunch of old films and videos taken by some college students are stuck together to make ninety minutes of pure evil. The photography was awful and shaky. Little Tommy Joe Hensley did a better job taking movies with his daddy's video camera at Vacation Bible School. I just thank the Lord I had a couple of Dramamine pills left in my purse from that last bus trip with the choir.
The story is supposed to be about "innocent" young people (a girl and two boys unconcerned about avoiding "all appearance of evil"-- 1Thes:5:22) meeting up with Satan's occult forces. This film showed the politically correct, liberal mentality in action, with a big dollop of sin thrown into the mix. There were also thinly veiled calls for taking away our guns, suggestions of the New World Order, and demands to release child molesters from prison and raise the taxes of working families.
Here are just a few of the blasphemies and abominations (with the Holy Scripture to prove it!) that are featured in this movie:
· Men with long hair and a woman wearing jeans (Deuteronomy 22:5)
This awful film was full of obscenities, including the most foul of foul words, and taking The Lord's Name in vain. I had my hands over my ears about half the time and prayed against Satan at the top of my lungs every time a foul word was spoken onscreen. Then many of the liberal, pagan heathens in the audience started yelling at ME, telling me to "shush." I stood up and read my bible out loud to those heathens, and Satan commanded them to throw popcorn and fountain Co-Colas at me. I knew that God allowed this as a test of my faith.
They also yelled at me for clicking my "Abominometer," one of them clicky-things
that's like the ones we use on Sundays and Wednesday nights to count the
number of folks coming to church. I clicked every time there was
an abomination and the total, best I can tell, was 437 abominations and
66 blasphemes! The only missing abomination was nekkidness, but you
can be sure it happened behind the scenes.
- Mrs. Dora-Jean Hazlett. (Fundamentalist Film Critic & Landover Member)
More Christian News On The Blair Witch Project:
- By the grace of God, the good folks over at ChildCare Action Project,
a Christian film review service, agree with us fully on this, but were
a little less biblical in their review. Read their review at Blair
Witch Movie Review We hope to take that project into our Landover Ministries
soon, and negotiations are under way.
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