Demon Hunting

Demon Hunter, Mitch Walker, Traps 3 1/2 Inch Succubus With Nothing More Than a Bread Crumb and a Roll of Paper Towels.

Trap a Live Demon!

Rev. Mitch Walker is the sort of a kind of a man of God, that makes the hair on your neck stand up when he passes you by. He has been all over the world, tracking and hunting demons. This is his trade, and his calling. Rev. Mitch doesn't hunt the sort of demons that oppress or possess folks. He hunts the little buggers that hide in the bushes, the sneaky ones. The fast ones that roam the jungles of Africa, and make their homes in the sewers of large cities. He tracks them, follows their scent, hunts them down, and traps them. His daddy before him did it, and his daddy's daddy before that. "It's in the blood," Walker told the Landover Baptist congregation on Sunday morning. "God gave me a gift, I can sniff a demon's stinky hell scent 50 miles out."

"The demon trade," Mitch tells us, "is a long and ancient one. The Catholic church pays good money for a live demon. To my knowledge," he added, "they have about 10 of them subdued in the dungeon of the Vicilian Partonae wing of The Holy See in Vatican City." Mitch also joked, "they got another one sittin' on the pontiff potty, but that's a different story." 

Landover members were shocked to see Rev. Mitch Walker show up alive. Pastor Ebeneezer himself thought that Mitch was attacked and killed by a coven of Congo Jungle Darklings in 1978. When he resurfaced Sunday morning carrying a bird cage and a suit case, everyone was surprised.  Pastor Smith immediately gave him the pulpit.  Rev. Mitch pulled the cover off the cage to reveal a ravenous 3 1/2 inch succubus he had trapped in a Hong Kong sewer using only a bread crumb and a roll of paper towels. Although the audience could only see a little yellow bird in the cage, Pastor Mitch assured them that it was indeed a demon. "It is as clear as day to me," he stated, "It has 14 rows of razor sharp teeth, four sets of horns, a red tail, and it is covered in scales."  Rev. Smith joked, "Mitch, it sounds to me like you trapped one of them Pokémonsters the unsaved kids are all hooked on nowadays."

Rev. Mitch joined the congregation in Fellowship hall after the service. He refused to let anyone near the cage, claiming, "if you get your fingers within one inch of this cage, there will be nothing left of your hand. The little bugger will gnaw on a human finger like a negro would accordian tooth a 5lb watermellon.."  Rev. Mitch stayed for spell, and while everyone's head was turned, he ducked out with his bird cage and his suitcase. Pastor Smith noted, "Mitch doesn't stand still for nothin', He is doing the Lord's work constantly, God's probably called him off to some sewer or bush somewhere, and like an obedient servant, that's where he'll be."





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