Liberal, four eyed sissies are responsible for making the Y2K crisis possible in the first place. They created the computer, and now we are all about to reap the devil's harvest. If they had been out on the football field instead of home masturbating over their Algebra books, none of this would be happening.  It is a shame that good Christians everywhere have to be put in a position where they must take something like this seriously. We acknowledge that it is a devil run world, and the queer, puffy palmed, sappy, near sighted servants of Satan created the computers we are using. They know the prince of Darkness best, because he lives inside of their heads and tells them all what to do.

As a precaution to impending doom, we've gone ahead and put together a reasonably priced Y2K Fundamentalist Baptist Christian survival kit. Each kit includes:

• 12 Dress shirts by Vito Rufolo (size on order)
• 12 Genuine Faux Silk Ties
• 12 Pair of wool tropicals, crepes, gabardines and flannel slacks (size on order)
• 8  100% Wool Italian Suits by Givenchy (size on order)
• 20 cans of shaving cream
• 1 double-edged razor blade
• 2 unbreakable space-age plastic combs
• A battery powered hairdryer
• A King James 1611 Bible (Landover 100% Red Letter Edition, leatherette cover, add $50.00 for faux leatherette)
• A cassette player, with tapes of “The Best of Landover Baptist Sermons, 1923-1999, From 1923 to The End of The World”
• 25 rolls of Peppermint Lifesavers
• 2,000 Chick Tracts, assorted (add $2500 for tract firing device)
• 14 Baptist Hymnals, with special plastic covers (waterproof available, add $5.00 per hymnal)
• A Glock semi-automatic handgun, fully loaded with 50 extra clips (add $350 for pearl handle, or $500 for special “homo-neutralizer” edition, with chemically reproduced pheromones for attracting deviants)
• 90 days worth of delicious freeze-dried food, easy for a Godly woman to prepare with a minimum of  space and fuel (the Lord will provide, sisters)