July 2009

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Suffering for Jesus in Saint James, Barbados
Our 2009 Platinum Tither Conference at
Sandy Lane Luxury Island Resort

Freehold, Iowa - Landover Baptist is proud to announce that the Annual Platinum Tither Conference in St James, Barbados is completely sold out! Major Donors, VIC's (Very Important Christians), and Pastors will be spending an incredible, Christ-centered week (June 26 - August 1) at the Sandy Lane Luxury Golf and Spa Resort. Christian couples were booked at a $27,000.00 flat rate and $35,000.00 for the Senior Saints' "Golden Pillow," pass. The resort is reserved for Landover Baptist affiliates only!  And we are happy to publish the fact that the location will be entirely cleared of all unsaved persons for the whole week! Guests will be pleased to know they won't have to waste time witnessing to the help and can enjoy the entirety of their Christian vacation, guilt-free!

The 2007 conference will focus primarily on Pastor Deacon Fred's teaching series: "Things to Do Before the Lord Returns." Guests will attend chapel services each morning and a pre-dinner sermon where Pastor will discuss the benefits of the American Christian lifestyle, prayerfully invoking both comfort and insight as he provides guests with a laundry list of leisurely Bible-based activities to enhance and assuage their daily lives. "Since the Gospel has already been preached to every nation, we are now called upon to abide and dally in the lap of the Lord," says Pastor. "And I've got to tell you, there are plenty of things to do while we sit around and wait for Jesus to show up, and this conference is just a start!. Christian couch manufacturer, Jim Titular will be attending the conference to explain how his furniture ministry allows us to tarry for the Lord in the utmost comfort." 

Room Amenities

  • 900 square foot duplex suites with private prayer verandahs
  • 24/7 True Christian ™ Butler service
  • 56 inch plasma wide-screen television with interactive entertainment systems, stereo, private communion bar and personal in-room safe
  • Custom multi-spray shower and steam bath, heated mirrors
  • Sheepskin leather bound Gideon Bibles in each nightstand
  • Pillow menu with 13 options (Golden Pillow pass only)
  • Separate powder room and full-service beach front menstra-huts for pre-menopausal female guests

Daily Activities

  • Annual Landover Baptist Senior Saints shuffle board tournament
  • "Blessed are the Poor," bullet proof limousine convoy tour of the inland (Tuesday afternoon only)
  • Devotional massage therapy
  • TBN Network in-suite 24/7 in glorious high definition
  • Helicopter tours of ancient heathen ruins
  • Fishers of Men deep sea fishing expeditions (7 AM - 11AM Daily)
  • Search for the Treasure of God's Heart™ shipwreck diving expeditions (1 PM - 4PM Daily)


Special Note From Pastor Deacon Fred to Church Members Back Home:

Remember friends, if you didn't make the list for this year's conference, you are still on the Lord's list in the book of life. Although your name might be further down, Jesus still considers you precious in His sight. Some are called by Him to receive mansions in Glory and others to spend eternity in luxury condominiums on Salvation Boulevard. Just be happy you are saved, and won't end up having your hiney roasted for eternity on the devil's skillet in hell.

  


 

 

 






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