Halloween History

Kindergartners to Depict the Blood-Spattering Horrors of the Book of Revelation in This Year's Hell House!

Landover Baptist Children Help Win Souls!

The terrors of Judgment Day and the apocalypse are brilliantly captured in a special room in this year's "Hellhouse," sponsored by Mrs. Harrison's kindergarten class at Landover Elementary School.  "It just makes me so angry when I see unsaved children taunting God by laughing and collecting candy while wearing devil costumes, as though Hell is some kind of joke," she exclaimed.  "It's pure blasphemy.  Last year, we demonstrated that in a play at the school.  The honor students were permitted to play the role of devils whereas all students who had been kept after school during the year played the sinners of the Earth.  Some of the devils stabbed the sinners' hineys with pitchforks while others used kerosene sprayers to send fire in the sinners' direction.  With only three days to rehearse, there were some scrapes and burns and a few serious injuries, but that's to be expected when doing the Lord's work.  Anyway, we were just thrilled after the play when pastor bestowed the great honor upon us of inviting us to sponsor a room in this year's Hellhouse!"

The top seven students of the kindergarten class play the seven angels who come to visit the Earth during the End Times as described in Revelation, chapter 12.  They are surrounded by the children who were discipline problems during the past academic year.  The first angel, little Matthew Graham, carries bags of pepperoni dipped in tomato sauce under his left arm.  He walks up to each of the shirtless male sinners around him and slaps damp pepperoni hard against their faces, arms, chests and backs, just as the first angel of the rapture will inflict excruciating sores on all the people of the earth.  The children scream and cry in pain and agony as the crowd walks toward the second angel.  Young Jonah Baker uses an electronic water gun to drench the sinners with deep red paint dye as they fall to the ground from blood loss.  Another angel runs at sinners with a torch, taunting them with its flames.  The audience eventually becomes exhausted and terrified as four other angels inflict the wrath of the Lord on the helpless sinners, precisely as described in Revelation.

All of the children have a part in the performance.  Those not selected to be angels or sinners dress as dragons and beasts and hurl frogs and locusts from their mouths.  And the seven smallest boys, all successful graduates of Mrs. Bowers' BASH Ministry, play the seven heads of the Red Dragon.

"All of the children did a remarkable job, especially the angels who carried out their torture and destruction with such passion," noted Mrs. Harrison.  "But first prize this year went to the Bailey's beautiful daughter, Kay, who played the Great Whore of Babylon.  Her parents were somewhat reluctant to allow her to play the role at first, but I explained that she was a dead ringer in the looks department for the Mother Mary and no one else had her acting skills.  Granted, the scene in which she must wrestle Jesus, played by Luke Hardwick, was risky, but Brother Harry attended every rehearsal, belt in hand, to ensure no inappropriate contact by either Kay or Luke."

As guests exist the room, they are handed a flyer, stating simply, "WOULDN'T YOU RATHER WATCH THESE SCENES FROM SKYBOXES IN HEAVEN THAN PARTICIPATE IN THEM?  TURN OR BURN!"






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