Mitt Romney's Hilarious Religious Beliefs!
SERMON FROM PASTOR DEACON FRED & NATIONAL PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION ALERT!
Friends, I never thought I'd live to see the day when a Mormon cult member would be running for President of this Christian country. Then again, I said the same thing about that Mary Worshipping jackass, John F. Kennedy, and by golly - every uneducated Negro and unchurched low class liberal who thought Catholics were Christians voted that hell bound nin-com-poop into office! Cleaning up that mess was a little more complicated than loading up a plane full of deacons to Florida to take out some trash! I believe we can avoid anything like the Kennedy fiasco this time around by making sure we put a stop to letting kooky religious nuts run for any public office!
Like everyone in the other 49 states we've had our share of busting a gut over how silly the Mormons are. We even take to calling them the "Morons," in our Religious Cult Studies courses at Landover Baptist University. My message about Mormons today is actually more for the folks out there using the internets. I want to assure this congregation that I am doing everything in my power to prevent even the stupidest Mexican who can vote from being fooled by this fruit-cake, Mitt Romney.
You see, the Mormon religion is absolutely, hands down, one of the most hilarious made-up religions Satan ever
boiled up in the Lake of Fire! But all tomfoolery aside, Mormonism should
always be reckoned with as a dangerous cult -- because whenever you design a
cult to appeal to stupid people, you are going to wind up with a lot of
I'll let you take a breath for a minute, because I know you are laughing harder than the time I was up here trying to explain how the Scientologists arrived on Earth in a space ship piloted by talking, lava-dwelling sea clams.
Friends, Mitt Romney follows the Book of Mormon to the letter! He believes it has more authority than the Bible. If you don't know what's in the book of Mormon, we've included the Sunday School training video below:
Folks, I'll wait a minute for you to calm down. I know if Joseph Smith were
alive today he wouldn't even be able to sell this story as a mini-series to
the Sci-Fi Channel, and those folks buy anything!
More Information About The Crazy Mormons: