A Small Sample of Landover Baptist Mail Received December 2002  (unedited and in original form)

Dear Pastor,

I recently perused your article regarding the problem of our children's subjection to vagrants posing as Santa during the holiday jubilee. I thought that the Baptist persuasion was honorable and based on integrity, but I now realize that you are so disolusioned with the filth of your own fright, that your entire chuch will enevitably burn in hell. I feel sorry for the congregation who is brainwashed twice a week by the nonsense of hatred which you are purveying upon their fecal minds. Don't blame alchohol or liquor. Blame society and our government. Blame yourself. Your insolent hatred for people you don't even know.

But then again, I bet you've never stopped to help or even speak to a homeless man much less a child. Do you realize that homeless children are being killed for their organs. Do you realize that 43% of homeless people were forced to fight for your freedom, only to be mentally disabled saving vietnamese lives. No probably not. So continue to pray for green at the stop light. Fuck you and your religion. No I can't say that all pastors feel that way. So I take that back. Fuck you and no one else. You will go to hell.

Favre Lansky - Brett Landry 

Bene Note-I would love to hear your enlightining rebuttle

My name is Victoria and I am a Catholic and I am American Indian on my father's side. I was sent an e-mail by my cousin about the sick junk you all had written about native peoples . I read the 2 artciles written about not allowing native peoples at your thanksgiving festivities and constructing your new church on burial sites. First of all......NATIVE PEOPLES ARE NOT SATANIC! You people need to be re-educated. Native people are as Christian as you are! Second of all......HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF THE GRAVES OF YOUR DEAD WERE DIGGED UP AND CHILDREN WERE PLAYING BASEBALL W/ YOUR ANCESOTRS BONES? That is sick. You people call yourselves Christians. You are the satanic ones! Having no respect for the dead no matter their ethnicity or race! And using fowl language and terms such as "savage and injuns". All I have to say is that in due time you all will have to answer to God for the actions you all have portrayed and these disgusting articles you have written. I am going to foward these articles to Native peoples all over the United States and Canada from Louisiana to Alaska and all over Indian country to inform them of these actions. Don't be syurprised if you get hundreds of e-mails from native peoples and concerened non-native peoples. That is all I have to say for now.

Victoria Williams 

The things you wrote on the the Lord Of The Rings have np honest justification. The Author of the series J.R.R. Tolkien was a christian. The hobbits have no homosexual attributes. Look at the way they were raised. Hobbits were born in small communities sheltered from the rest of middle-earth and the evils of sauron. Frodo and Sam are frightened because boromir tried to kill Frodo.

To say that the LOTR is a sinner movie is ignorant, and makes me prowd to be an athiest. Similar ideas and slams from Christianity is what is causing so many chrsistians to become atheist. Producing such blatantly homophobic and and stereotypical views are not the views of the Bible.

Though I am straight, I do believe there is nothing wrong with being Gay, nor does God according to the Bible.

- James Gayson 

You guys are idiots. Don't you have something better to do? Or do you thrive on getting hate-mail?

Grow up.


I am a bit confused. I thought your website was a cheap and ingnorant slap at Christianity. What is more disturbing is that after reading more and more of your website I realized that you really are a self called Christian Church. God Help you either way. I pray that the wisdom of the Holy Spirit fill you so you can see your error and see the light. God Bless you in this Holy Season and may this truly be an advent for you.


Please remove this insane site from the Internet. You people are monsters! This destructive bile you are spewing is precisely the sort of thing we should be protecting our children from. Please consider the potential damage you are doing to our society. This is the sort of thing that thinking people have been attempting to stamp out since the Bronze Age. Direct your energy toward something constructive and beneficial to mankind. You can still redeem yourselves in a real and meaningful sense by cleansing your thoughts of this destructive superstition, myth and supernaturalism.

Michael Berry Kansas City, MO


Your guys are morrons!

Concerning pastor Deacon Fred."homophobic dumbass"

Holly shit man, this isint a fucking review of The Lord Of The Ring, this is just a sorry excuse to show that your homophobic. Why would you care if tolkien and lewis where gay? I think godonce said love thy fellow man(or something like that. If your not gay than why do you care if Frodo and Sam are ? I bet you like little boys !!!!! O did you know that the bible was ritten about 500 hundred years after Jesus died! Did you know Jesus had a brother to!(They found his grave not that long ago) That means that Marie wasn't a VIRGIN. She had sex!!!!!! Christianism isin't the only "good" religion. None of them are. Religions are impulses to explaine the unexpainebale. The 10 commandement are only made to keep you guys and girls in line.Isin't incest a sin? Then how do you explaine the story of Adam and Eve ? They had to have sex, they had kids, now they had sex whith each other, between brother and sister.HO! and another thing, why do you whant to see someone die? Isin't that against YOUR religion ????? God is supposed to be forgiving! Why would he masacre people?

I was appald buy you"whatever the HELL you call that"critic.


How many wealthy homosexuals actually run this operation? You will give account!

Christopher Davis 

First off I would just like to say "ARE YOU JOKING?" Please tell me you are not serious with your beliefs and this is just an elaborate joke. Because I must say you are the problem with religion today. Me coming from an athiest point of view, but formally a devout christian, I could only laugh at everything you said. It seems that people like you are destroying any true hope in religion. "Christians know that nothing man could ever conceive on film will ever match the glorious barbecue of burning flesh that God has promised for all those who don't worship Jesus. " HAHA, are you able to judge who burns and dies. How do you know God in his infinite wisdom would choose to "burn all those who don't worship jesus"? What about the Jewish community...who believe only in the old testament. Do they not worship God? Are they not the chosen people as quoted in the bible numerous times? Where do you get off judging a form of entertainment as homosexual? Did you even read any of tolkien's work? Obviously not, because there isn't even a hint of homosexuality, J.R.R. Tolkien was married his entire adult life. Did you skip over the part in the bible where Jesus teaches you not to judge other people? You had better be ready for these "rotting bodies" because it seems you'll be joining us in the fire. And just for the record- there is not God he is a myth, somthing to believe in to take your minds off the dullness of life. When you die you go into the ground and become soil. thats it. We have just wished something else is out there. But trust me there isn't. So Fuck off and Die- because life's too short to be so narrow minded as obviously all you are.

Joel McDevitt - 

Print that so everyone with any intellegance can read it. Because you and your member obviously are not.


You give us Christians a bad name. Have you read the Bible... other than just the parts that suit your opinions? Do you realize that Christ was a Jew? Do you know how badly Jesus despises hate? Christians are simply Jews that realize that the Messiah has come. Most Jews will never believe, but 144,000 of them will, and they will play a key in Christ's return. This is prophecy. Don't hate them. Pray for them that they accept Jesus Christ as their savior so they don't all burn in hell. Spend more time reading than bashing. I can't judge you; you can't judge them. You've stated your opinion, you will be judged by it.

Cody & Emily Van Pelt [

Pastor, You are a fucking nut. A fucking idiot, and you are also insane. I would like to know what's worse, knowing that you are a moron, or knowing that everyone else knows you are a moron?

Xaphar Block 

To whom it may concern, In reading the little 'warning' message of the new Lord of the rings movie, a few questions and points sprang to mind:

1. How come you say that the director can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality, when you are the one comparing the characteristics of a made-up world (fantasy) with the christian believes of today's world (reality). Who's getting the two confused now??

2. If you know so little about the director, how come you are willing to comment so freely?

3. If you actually paid attention in Part 1 of LOTR, you would have realised that friendship and companionship is one of the great themes of the story and, as I understand it, of the bible???

4. "Although sodomy is now suggested in nearly every scene where the two creatures appear together". Why not support this comment with RELEVANT reference from the movie/book, instead of just quoting the bible.

5. "And make no mistake, my dear friends; here at Landover Baptist, PG means 'pretty gay.'" - who would want to be a 'dear friend' of someone who makes immature acronyms like that???

6. Why is this website the only place i've seen that relates LOTR to homosexuality? I can't remember the topic coming up at all when we studied the books at school.

I suggest that you open your mind and realise that a movie of a made up world has nothing to do with real life. Just because two males are close to each other, it doesn't mean they're having sex, or even in a gay relationship. Or maybe it does in your 'fantasy'. Or is it 'reality'? Sorry, i must get confused. Realise that LOTR is set in a different time and place and that it is very different to today's world. If you believe that these movies could possibly be against the christian religion, don't watch them. By the way, i'm a christian too.

If you took the time to read this, thanks and god bless. Feel free to write back.


The crap that you ignarant people are feeding the ignorant people that actually follow this shit is by far the stupidest shit I have ever read in my life.So called christians like yourselves are so busy judging other people and there beliefs that you can't even see how stupid you sound to real people.I am not wiccan and deffinately not christian, I just got so tired of stupid ignorant people like yourself trying to tell everyone else what to think and how to think.I just don't understand why you have to lie about everything you try to teach, I know if people knew how retarded christianity was you wouldn't be able to line your pockets as well as you and your fellow "teachers" do.Please just have someone proof read your garbage before you print it for the public to read and see how completly full of shit christians are more and more becoming.

chris schiele 

The Two Towers is Homo Slang For Erect Hobbit Penises ????

Why are penises the only thing christians are talking about today? Haven't your perverted priests done enough damage to our children, namely little boys? I mean come on, you guys have lost all credibiility for whining about gays.

"I doubt Hollywood could ever litter a whole valley with hacked up pieces of human flesh and body parts, or fill a river with the hot, fresh steaming blood of the unsaved. Only the Lord can do that!"

Humans have been doing exactly that as long as we've been here. The LOTR is a fantasy. NOT REAL. It is a STORY and damn good one.. Your article is the most twisted bunch of nonsense I have ever seen. I suppose that is the reaction you are trying to get by posting it, but come on, are you that paranoid? Try using some fact and intelligence when you write, not just what your unsupported opinion of fact.

Additionally, I haven't seen evidence of your "lord" do much of anything lately. There is absoultely NO proof that any of flying horses or other creatures you mention in this article are "based on factual events from the Holy Bible."

Sure mother nature is always busy, but the manifisations of the lord you speak of are merely ideas perpetuated by humans supported by no more than the typical nonsensical circular logic that you religious fanatics always spread around. In short, You make me wanna puke.

The heaven and afterlife you describe sounds like true Hell to me. I'm going to the Gray Havens. Have fun in your little heaven. Please stop molesting the alter boys. And Yes that would be considered homosexuality, too. You corrupt bunch of hypocrites. !Gandalf for President!

Nate Alley

Ok, I am an athiest and have ben for quiet a while. I grew up as a baptist and iin 6-7 grade i realized that there was no god(in my opinion). I have no problem with other people believeing in god, my own family are still Baptist. I stumbled upon you site when i was looking for info on Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and all i really have to say is that it adds to my reason for being an athiest. The main thing that i saw was the banner on the left where you are bribing people to accept your god. "Accept christ and we'll throw in a free phone." Also, you give movies like The Two Towers bad ratings because of the violence and what not... yet most religions based around "god" have a shit load of violence around them. All the religious wars where millions of people have died over the centuries because some people didnt believe in the same "god". I imagine you have gotten emails like this before and i could care less what you do with it so what ever... Basically, i just wanted to say that the site sucks and has some contradictions in it. Ok.. i just started reading through your Beliefs section for the hell of it and this has gotta be the most retard thing i have ever heard of. Ok, i am not saying that your belief in "god" is wrong.. it is different than mine but i dont care what you belief in. But when you charge people $200 just for being late to church, not going to church, dress codes,or even reading a fucking comic book???... that is just fucking stupid. I dont think any of the churches around here have rules like that. When i was going to church there where no such fines... This website is pointless.. how to do expect to get people to believe in your god when you fine them $200 for being late??? I think that if i showed this site to some of my christian friends they might realize some of the contradictions. Thats all... for now.

Kyle Wade 

Hello Pastor,

by coincidence I came across your website. It is unbelievable the stuff that you write in there. More unbelievable is the fact that a government is willing to get together with a sect. The words you write are poison in the ears of the low-IQ'd; those people do not understand the meaning and don't comprehend to power behind it. You use "innocent" folks for your own sorry purposes. You long for power; power which is not yours to have. You give direction; a direction which is the path straight into darkness. Do you remember the words: be aware of false prophets... well that is right what you are. I read your piece of "the two towers", which is one of the best films ever made (technically). To compare it with some sexual background is pretty sick. I think you should seek help, because if a person like yourself sees the filthy and the dirty in each and everything, there is something wrong with your mind. I would like to hear from you as I am not in the position to judge... It is just that I am a different point of view. And I am afraid that one who doesn't understand the meaning of things said, will take them falsely, which can lead to dangerous situations. We don't want people judging other people, do we?! "He without sinn, cast the first stone".


Brian Luining 

Dear Sir,

Having spent some time on your website this evening, I believe that you have torn the bible to tiny bits, chewed it up, and spat it out in a nasty confection! Jesus (As you may recall) spent his time among those who were unsaved as to bring the unsaved to him! That is something that he wanted us to do as well! Therefore you are disobeying the teachings of Jesus by stating that unsaved are not welcome to your site. Do you exclude them from your church as well? Could an unsaved person not become saved? If your answer to that last question is "No." Then perhaps you should read the Bible a bit more! For you to suggest that living exclusively among those who are "wealthy and Christian" You are saying that those who are not saved are below you! You, sir, are in need of a revival! The welcome banner to your site states that you are 'The Largest, Most Powerful Assembly Of Worthwhile People To Ever Exist.' hat is a load of crock! All, not one or two, or a select few, but ALL PEOPLE ARE WORTHWHILE! GOD MADE ALL PEOPLE AND ALL PEOPLE DESERVE TO BE TREATED EQUALLY! ALL PEOPLE DESERVE TO BE LOVED! YOU, SIR, ARE VERY WRONG ABOUT RACISM AS WELL! RACISM IS THE DELIBERATE MISTREATMENT OF A PERSON BASED ON THEIR RACIAL OR ETHICAL BACKGROUND! AND YOU COULD BE CALLED A RACIST FOR YOUR VIEWS OF NON-CHRISTIANS! I believe that you are a fraud! You have no said "Copy" of the script to Toy Story 2! I have seen that movie and it had none of the things that you described! And for you or anyone to sit around and think up such vulgarity suggest what is really on your mind! You should be ashamed of yourself! To misconstrue a toy of any kind into a sex object is sickening! I find it hard to believe that any decent person would have noticed these things had you not pointed them out! Not only that, but I do not believe your claims about this "Timmy" and his mother. If "Timmy were that sick, why are you treating the "Mother"? also, your claims about "Timmy" And the doll are said to take place in his bed room, in the next claim, it clearly states that "Timmy" Was found in the rumpus room! You should fix that... And who are you to say that Harry Potter books are full of filth! I am a Christian and I read Harry Potter books! I think they show children that there is good and there is bad, and they teach children to look for the good and hold on to it! Is that not what you wish for your children? To hold onto the good? I also see that Harry Potter teaches children many Christian morales, Trust, respect, love, friendship! All of these things! As for your claim that Harry Potter killed his parents with a butcher knife, well, that is plain STUPID! In the Harry Potter books, it says that Harry was a baby when his parents were killed! How can a baby kill two grown people with a butcher knife? Honestly! You need to think about the trash you are feeding your congregation. Also, about the Pokemon toys. For you to destroy them in vivid demonstrations, you are only teaching violence! Violence in children is already a big enough problem in the world today! Furthermore! Your whole idea of religion is stupid and one incomplete thought! Why in the WORLD Would you tell someone to stick their hand in a toaster!?! How dumb are you? You need mental therapy!

S. G. - chuckskhi4444@xxxxx.com

Do you know that God is real and that his Son died on the cross for u people??? Do you know that God Loves u just as much as he love me?????? Have you folks ever really got down on your knees to ask God to reveal himself to you??? What has possessed you folks to make fun of the almighty God in such a way?????? And his people Yes we are forgiven and at times we fall but we get up and continue on forward. You should not base your relationship with God (if any) by what other Christians do.God will deal with them. Worry about your own walk with God. I rebuke in the name of Jesus those strongholds that keep you from knowing the true God the way he intended you to. I also Pray in the name of Jesus that your Website has no deceitful authority over those who stumble upon it seeking the true God Do you really think that you will have any excuse when the day of Judgment comes for what you have done?????????????????????? I love you and will pray for you

Rich & Jeanne Meadows

I am a Christian, and a Baptist at that, and frankly, if I was to show your headlining article in this month's e-newsletter to any one of my non-Christian acquaintances, none of them would ever consider becoming a Christian.

So often we get caught up in our personal convictions that we forget that our behavior and ONLY our behavior ("behavior" meaning what we do and SAY) is what non-believers gauge the entire religion on.

If we want to expose non-believers to the glory that is Jesus Christ, we must find the balance of presenting ourselves in a way that makes them WANT to inquire about Christ while not sugar-coating our beliefs in way that hides what we truly believe. This is completely possible through Jesus Christ.

Ryan R. Ferguson 


Tina Buchanan 

To whom it may concern,

Your article concerning the Lord of the Rings was one of (if not the most) pathetic things I have ever read!! You claim that these films are so "offensive", but to be honest, I find your article as perverted and gross as you "claim" these films are...And you think these are such horribly violent movies, have you been living under a rock??! I could name a dozen other titles off the top of my head that make these movies look like an episode of Barney!! In my opinion, you have WAY TOO MUCH time on your hands and wanted to find something to call "evil"...

JRR Tolkien was a spirit-filled Christian who filled his books with a lot of Christian references which apperantly you didn't take the time to look for...Do us all a favor and start finding fault with things that actually have fault...


I have never in my life *an hope never to be again* been so discussed . How can you post a site like that *an in the name of the Lord* you people best watch out an keep a good strong lighting rod on your hats . If he is not laffin at you Iam sure he is finding a way to bolt you down for the sick web site you put up. An to think I was looking for a nice site on Christmas site . THAT is what I found ! I hope your happy that it even scared my grand-kids.

They said ( Grand how can people be so hateful an say its in the name of the Lord)

What I said ( they know no better darling , an when they reach God he will tell them himself just how wrong they are and lets pray for them that he forgives them an lets them into his home.)

We will be saying an exrta Prayer for you an all that follow this garbage in hopes that God looks down on you in pity.


I read with curiosity the article that appears to be in your church publication that addresses the issue of whether or not Jesus was black. I must say, at first I thought that the article was a parody on a conversation that took place in the 1940's in the South. I was amazed about three things:

1. The article is relatively recent - March 2002.
2. The article was published with such sincerity and pride on the part of the church leaders. In other words Deacon Fred, Deacon Wilson, and Brother Harry actually believed the things they were saying. It wasn't a joke, or some kind of Saturday Night Live skit.
3. That the head pastor and deacons at Landover Baptist church are really as ignorant as they appear in the article. They are the worst kind of ignorant. They are ignorant, and don't even know that they are ignorant.

Brother Harry is the most ignorant of all. Since when is the King James Version of the Bible inspired? Or the art work of reformation painters? And which reformation painters were inspired? I'm sure you were there, so you should be able to tell us there names? Also, tell us how you came to learn that these men were "true Christians"? Did you know that some of them painted Jesus black? Also, since when do historical events that happened 1600 years after the bible was completed rise to the level of inspired? Do you even know one thing about King James and what kind of King he was, or what England was like as a country in 1611? Do you have any first hand knowledge of Latin, so that you can read the Latin Vulgate and compare it to the original Greek text and see what kind of a translation it is? Do you even know that the King James Version is in part a translation of the Latin Vulgate and not the original languages?

Also Brother Harry, there is no recessive gene that accounts for black people. There is no genetic code for black skin versus white skin. Skin color has nothing to do with genes. Genetically we are all related to one set of parents - Adam and Eve. You should know that. This means that genetically, every person is the same race. Skin color has nothing to do with genes.

You are all so incredibly ignorant it makes it hard for true Christians to explain Christianity to non-Christians, because people like you make Christianity look ugly.

Do yourselves a favor and take a class in listening skills, because you were extremely rude and disrespectful to Mr. Mill. Also, learn how to develop Jesus' attitude of humbleness, instead of the self-righteous arrogance that caused you to snipe at Mr. Mill with your bigoted jokes (the worst one being the joke about Jonah). Your ad hominem attacks on Mr. Mill did nothing to prove your point. But this is the true sign of ignorance -- you could not refute his statements with reasonable well thought out logic, so instead you attacked him. This is unkind, ungodly, and un-Christlike.

Brother Harry, you owe Mr. Mill an apology.

Deacon Fred, you owe Jesus an apology. In all probability, Jesus was dark skinned. He certainly was not a white anglo-saxon bigot like you.

Karl Henry, M.Div.
Bloomington, MN


After first reading your article on "The Two Towers" i decided that a long winded hate mail was in order. But because so many of your kind "child molesting ignorant 'priests'" (how dare you defile that name) have been recieving them to no avail, i decided to send you a reality check. First off, both J.R.R Tolkein and C.S. Lewis were heterosexual married men nad avid Christians. They both had long time wives and children. Furthermore, your statement that they were hiding some sort of homosexual relationship shows how little you know and researched the topic, but does allow the reader insight into your own personal insecurities regarding your sexual prefrences. Because you know so little information i should realize that you dont know they both served in World War One. The relationship between the hobbits is not one of homosexual lovemaking, but brotherly love (not the kind between you and your altar boy) that they experienced during those hellish years of war. Besides your blatant ignorance, your overwhelming hatred for anything less ignorant than yourself is astounishing. Althought this could go on forever, i know two things. Your legal disclamer allows you to change and/or not even reproduce this for your readers to view, and, your head is so far up your ass it wont change your opinion or allow you to open your mind one little bit. Even though i know this, i still decided it was worth my time to send you this reality check.


A concerned human being worried about the extinction of our race do to ignorant extremists like yourself (Al-Qaeda is a group of exremists too you terrorist!)

Christian DeFehr 

Greetings!! I would like to start by asking which God are you following? Because I follow the God of Mosses, The God of Abraham & Isaac, The God that sent His Son Jesus Christ to this earth to save His creation from our sinful lives. For one Jesus spoke that we shall speak the Gosple to the unsaved to show them God and you people say unsaved unwelcome?? I dont know what idol you are following but it sure doesnt sound like the words of God, but God still has His arms open to you, pray and repent for your following of man and start following GOD.

May God bless His TRUE FOLLOWERS


what is this? this 60 second sermon thing makes me really mad. who is this guy and who is he to tell me that im going to hell? will someone please explain to me what this is all about. thanks


Regarding your Dating Tips For Christian Men Section: This was presented as serious tips for men. The humor of this article is lost in the outrageousness of the tips. I am offended and upset that there is no disclosure or footnote indicating the sarcasm or insanity of the whole article. I found this website searching for articles and fresh and funny information for a True Love Waits Weekend I am planning. I am frustrated that most of the relationship and dating information is geared toward girls. I was hoping to find helpful and uplifting Christian material for young boys. This article was distasteful regardless of one's race, sex, or age.


I am a registered Democrat and Ph. D. student in the history of the Church. All of this is a sheer idiocy and not even funny. Please grow up. Sincerely yours, Andrei N. Antokhin.