Landover Baptist: Where The Worthwhile Worship. Unsaved Unwelcome.

LANDOVERBAPTIZON PRESENTS:
Nancy Boy Chrissy, The Bed-Wetting Sissy!
Creation Scientists have proven that bed wetting is caused by a homosexual's preoccupation with his genitals during sleep. This new book is a fun way for kids to learn how God punishes little boys who touch themselves. Read More!>

Shocking Bible Verse Merchandise!
Do your co-workers know that God wants to smear dung on their faces?

The Lord of The Rings Exposed!
J.R.R. Tolkein's sexually depraved world of midgets and cock rings finally reaches the big screen.

How To "Rear" A Child
Sister Heather's Heart & Head Healthy Habits.

A Christian Crackwhore Christmas!
Betty Bowers' Christian Crackwhore Ministry puts together a song of holiday cheer for those less fortunate.

America at War:
SPECIAL REPORTS
Killing Folks Who Picked the Wrong God

Dancing In Taliban Blood!
God's 10 Secrets To The Perfect War!>

May God Damn You To Hell if You Call Us Either Fanatics or Fundamentalists!
Click Here For Full Story!>

The Taliban Pin-Up Girl!
Take A Peek!>

Whose God is More Vicious?
Take the Quiz!>

How To Spot A Terrorist
Click Here For Details!>

America's Secret Weapon Against Wacky Islamic Fundamentalists
Read The Classified Document!>

The Whitehouse Department of Faith
Now open for business.
Click Here For Details!>


		Click To Surf The Web With Jesus! National Headlines Dr. Jerry Falwell Wins Lard Eating Contest The 75th annual American Pastor's Lard Eating Contest was held in Lynchburg Virginia on December 3rd. Dr. Jerry Falwell defeated last year's champion, Pastor John Hagee by consuming over 127lbs of hog fat in under 10 minutes. "I can do all things through God who strengthens me!" Falwell said, as he wiped his huge chin with an entire roll of paper towels. While this was not a personal record for Dr. Falwell, it was enough to win the competition. Youths Jailed For Mocking Bush Funeral services for Tommy Jenkins, 14, Billy Gordon, 17, and Rick Williams, 16, will be held this Sunday in the tractor shed. They had been apprehended on Tuesday for making unsavory remarks about President Bush. All three died in Landover Baptist Jail at approximately five minutes after midnight on Wednesday of natural causes and were immediately cremated.

Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkein's sexually perverted world of midgets and cock-rings comes to the big screen!

Harry Potter Witchcraft
Monsters A Talking Testicle!
Planet of the Apes: Beastiality
Jurassic Park III: Demons, not Dinosaurs
Tomb Raider: Spitting on the Resurrection
Hannibal Delightfully Biblical!
The Grinch Satan Painted Green
Castaway A Life Without Jesus
Blair Witch 2 A Christian Movie!
The Patriot Anti-Christian Trash!
Thomas & The Magic Railroad
Dinosaur: Not for Children
Me, Myself & Satan: Demon Possession
Gladiator: Homosexual lust!
American Psycho: Bill Clinton
Man on the Moon: ...or Devil in Hell?
Toy Story 2: Satan's New Film
The Green Mile: Men, Prison, Showers
Blair Witch Project: Dora Jean Reviews
Boys Don't Cry: "Bull Dykes Don't Cry"
American Beauty: Ugly Satanic Slop
The Talented Mr. Ripley: Fine Christian Fare

CapAlert:
Christian Movie Reviews With Which We Agree

We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

Link To Our Bible Quiz Page (click here) Test your Bible knowledge by taking one of these quizzes!
God vs. Allah Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz II
How Does God Spot A Christian?
Bible Punishment Quiz II
The Bible Diet Quiz
The Bible Slavery Quiz
Bible Anagram Flash Quiz
New "test" ament Quiz
Role of Women Bible Quiz
Creation Science Quiz
New Testament Damnation Quiz
The Wrath of God Quiz
Bible Punishment Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz
What Did Jesus Say? Flash Quiz!

THE FIRST LADY'S RADIO ADDRESS!
"Before September 11, when the President or I heard people talk about 'the Middle East,' we just thought they were referring to Maryland." - Laura Bush
Click the link above to read her radio address to this Christian Nation.

Intervention!
Cognoscenti
Helms Quotes
Betty's Notes
Abortion Rumor
Bush Quotes!
Court Supremes
Church Ladies

Pray for Jenna!
LIE-berman
Laura Bush Interview
Clinton - Porn Lover
Liberals Hate
Register To Vote>
Boycott Disney

November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
07/01 (STOLEN!)
June 2001
May 2001
April 2001
March 2001
February 2001

August 2001
January 2001
December 2000
November 2000
October 2000
September 2000
RECENT ADDITIONS
FULL ARCHIVE