December 2000



Supremes: "Stop In The Name of the GOP!"
America's Best Christian, Mrs. Betty Bowers, at the Supreme Court.
Justice Scalia Interview>

Your Free Landover Christmas Gifts!
Santa Didn't Die For Your Sins!
The Official Landover Christmas Card Print and send hundreds of them out to your unsaved relatives!
Gift Tags Print & Place On Your Christmas Gifts!
Sister Taffy's Sinless Shopping Guide Praise!
Betty's Christmas Letter A Holiday Tradition
Landover Gift Shop Purchase Gifts in our Store!

Hanukkah: Jews Celebrating Christ's Murder
Satan's pitchfork has eight points. The Jews call it a menorah, but True Christians know what it really is.
Read This Article>

Tiny Penis Found On Grinch Doll!
Hollywood perverts are at it again and Christians are getting sick of it! Read this article and help us get these toys removed from stores! True Christians unite!

Are You Going To Spend Eternity In Hell?Take the "New Testament Damnation Quiz" and find out exactly what Jesus has to say about where He is going to send you after you die!
Take The Quiz!>

Cast Away Movie: A Life Without Jesus And Toilet Paper
Hollywood's favorite homo, Tom Hanks, casts away his clothes, his salvation, and any sense of dignity in the year's most disgusting film.
Read This Godly Review!>

If You Read This, You Are Going To Hell.
Click To Read This>

Sister Taffy's Christmas
"There was nothing to stop us from inserting a life-size baby into Mary's birth canal and "delivering" it to the amazement of those gathered at the stroke of midnight." Read More>

I Saw My Mother Snapped Like a Wishbone In Hell
A near death testimony by Anne Thrope.
Read This Powerful Testimony>

Baptist Scientists Link Rise In Faggotry To "Something Somewhere In The Air Somehow."
What else could explain what happens to a good Christian boy without a homosexual bone in his body after he moves to a place like Sin Francisco?
Read The Report>

Rap Music To Blame For Everything
Click for Details>

Child Given Something To Cry About
A few little bruises is a whole lot better than an eternity in Hell.
Read all about it>

Church Member Boiled Alive In Backyard Bible Skit!
"One minute he was clapping his hands for glory, then the next minute the skin was melting off his palms!" recounted Mrs. Jerkins.
Click Here For Full Story>

Landover Christmas Poem >

our christian world

Bum Living In Pastor's Garage

Singer Michael Jackson Gives Millions To Landover Boys' School
Former black pop singer Michael Jackson has generously agreed to donate $4.5 million to build a new addition he designed for Landover Baptist Christian Academy for Boys. The new building will include a petting zoo, a hot tub and Roman-bath replica showers decorated with murals of his favorite Hanna Barbera cartoon characters. The centerpiece of the new project will be a 576-square-foot bed that will be used by the singer to read Christian stories to twenty overnight guests each month who attend his special "prayer and play" sleepovers. "We were surprised at first," said Pastor Deacon Fred, "since Michael is one of those crazy Jehovah's Witnesses. But it seems that Michael took a fatherly interest in some of our little lads when he saw pictures on the school website of the school swim meet. Unbeknownst to me, he has been writing to many of our young men with loving words of Christian encouragement, money and even locks of hair. He is very sweet to take such an interest in our youth and we, of course, appreciate that God has seen fit to guide him to give us over four million dollars for a building that will only cost us about $500,000 to build - tops."
Demon Snaps Timing Belt
Rev. Harry Hardwick's three-year-old Dodge Pick-up is now a pile of scrap metal thanks to a pesky demon that found its way into the frayed cord of the timing belt. "I bought the car for my son from someone who told me he was saved," said Hardwick. "Now I have my doubts." Christian mechanics attributed the cracks and chunks missing from the rib side of the drive belt to demonic activity. They found no visible evidence of excessive wear.
Tim LeVey & Anton LaHaye

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Our Godly Film Reviews
The Grinch!
By helping us block the release of this film, you are helping Jesus!
Blair Witch 2 A Christian Movie!
The Patriot Anti-Christian Trash!
Thomas & The Magic Railroad
Dinosaur: Not for Children
Me, Myself & Satan: Demon Possession
Gladiator: Homosexual lust!
American Psycho: Bill Clinton
Man on the Moon: ...or Devil in Hell?
Toy Story 2: Satan's New Film
The Green Mile: Men, Prison, Showers
Blair Witch Project: Dora Jean Reviews
Boys Don't Cry: "Bull Dykes Don't Cry"
American Beauty: Ugly Satanic Slop
The Talented Mr. Ripley: Fine Christian Fare

Christian Movie Reviews With Which We Agree

Interact With God (Us)!
Visit With Our Pastors (click here)

True Christians Unite!
Apostolic Astrology Angel Anne
Christian Realty Inc. Marla Jennings
America's Best Christian Betty Bowers
Bible Answer Man Brother Harry Hardwick
Women's Issues Sister Taffy
60 Second Sermons: Pastor Deacon Fred
Surf The Net With Jesus! Judy O'Christian
The Upper Room: Ladies Chat
Members Board: Church Members Only!
Movie Preview: Levitical Law Week
Daily Blessings: Sign Up!
Bible Punishment Quiz Take it!
What Did Jesus Say? Flash Quiz!

What Did I Miss?
June Sealed
Full Archive
Recent Additions

Christmas Memories
Special Feature:
The Disgusting Truth About Santa Claus Santa=Satan
Satan's evil plan has created jobs for hundreds of thousands of old lecherous pedophiles throughout this Godly country!
Colored Baby Jesus Kills Two
Betty's Christmas Letter Betty Bowers
Shopping Rush A Call To Arms!
Taffy's Christmas Memories Tips!
Holiday Homes Marla Jennings Realty
Kwaanza: Ghetto For "Murder"
Who Killed Jesus? It wasn't the Baptists
Hear Interviews Deacon Fred
Read Landover Baptist Church history
News Archive Holiday Articles

Christian Politics
photo The Wisdom of G.W. Bush:
A cocaine sniffin', alcoholic farmboy who gave his life to Jesus and became President of the United States. Praise God.

We Need Dick!
Betty's Notes
Abortion Rumor
Marilyn Saved!
Perilous Times!
Church Ladies
Homos & Kids!

Lesbians Attack!
Fetus Harvest
Clinton - Porn Lover
Liberals Hate
Register To Vote>
Boycott Disney

A Godly Warning
We have taken the liberty of requesting a restraining order on all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

Church Mail Bag
Read unedited e-mail that Landover Baptist receives on a daily basis by clicking here

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