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If You Read This, You Are Going To Hell.
Click To Read This>
Sister Taffy's Christmas
"There was nothing to stop us from inserting a life-size baby into Mary's birth canal
and "delivering" it to the amazement of those gathered at the stroke of midnight."
Read More>
I Saw My Mother Snapped Like a Wishbone In Hell
A near death testimony by Anne Thrope.
Read This Powerful Testimony>
Baptist Scientists Link Rise In Faggotry To "Something Somewhere In The Air Somehow."
What else could explain what happens
to a good Christian boy without a homosexual bone in his body after he moves
to a place like Sin Francisco?
Read The Report>
Rap Music To Blame For Everything
Click for Details>
Child Given Something To Cry About
A few little bruises is a whole lot better than an eternity in Hell.
Read all about it>
Church Member Boiled Alive In Backyard Bible Skit!
"One minute he was clapping his hands for glory, then the next minute the skin was melting off his palms!" recounted Mrs. Jerkins.
Click Here For Full Story>
Landover Christmas Poem >
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Bum Living In Pastor's Garage
Singer Michael Jackson Gives Millions To Landover Boys' School
Former black pop singer Michael Jackson has generously agreed to donate
$4.5 million to build a new addition he designed for Landover Baptist Christian Academy
for Boys. The new building will include a petting zoo, a hot tub and Roman-bath replica showers
decorated with murals of his favorite Hanna Barbera cartoon characters. The centerpiece of the new
project will be a 576-square-foot bed that will be used by the singer to read Christian stories to twenty
overnight guests each month who attend his special "prayer and play" sleepovers. "We were surprised
at first," said Pastor Deacon Fred, "since Michael is one of those crazy Jehovah's Witnesses. But it seems that
Michael took a fatherly interest in some of our little lads when he saw pictures on the school website of the school
swim meet. Unbeknownst to me, he has been writing to many of our young men with loving words of Christian
encouragement, money and even locks of hair. He is very sweet to take such an interest in our youth and we, of course,
appreciate that God has seen fit to guide him to give us over four million dollars for a building that will
only cost us about $500,000 to build - tops."
Demon Snaps Timing Belt
Rev. Harry Hardwick's three-year-old Dodge Pick-up is now a pile of scrap
metal thanks to a pesky demon that found its way into the frayed cord of
the timing belt. "I bought the car for my son from someone who told me he was
saved," said Hardwick. "Now I have my doubts." Christian mechanics
attributed the cracks and chunks missing from the rib side of the drive
belt to demonic activity. They found no visible evidence of excessive
wear.
Tim LeVey & Anton LaHaye
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| A Godly Warning |
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We have taken the liberty of requesting a restraining order on all unsaved persons.
If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed
on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!
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The Grinch!
The Wisdom of G.W. Bush:
