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 The
Ex-Negro Ministry
Thousands of Ex-Negroes are leading more productive lives today thanks
to leaving behind their destructive lifestyle. Our ad for this exciting
ministry has run in USA Today, The Washington Times and the Detroit Free
Press. Click
here to obtain a printable Adobe Acrobat PDF version or click on the
photo of Ex-Negro, Bob Barr, to view the web page.
Don't have the free Acrobat Reader?
click
here
 All
You Can Eat: Endangered Species Dinner!
Seen here, church members disembowel a rare African Rhinoceros. It
will be sweetened and cured into a delicious crème brûlée.
The theme of this year's dinner comes from Genesis 9:3 "Every moving thing
that liveth, shall be meat for you."
Read
The Menu, Get the Details>
 Creation
Scientists Prove: Circles are of Satan
Anyone caught owning a circular object after Wednesday will be hauled
before the Salvation Committee as a heretic!
Read
This Important Article!>
 Disney's
Dinosaur Movie is Turning Kids Into Sex Maniacs!
Burger King is even distributing plastic dinosaurs
that can be stacked on top of each other in a suggestive manner! We urge
you to contact your Senators and Congressmen and tell them, "NO MORE!"
Read
The Shocking Details!>
 Learning
To Treat Colored Folks Like Human Beings
Evolution may explain the presence of Negroes, but it doesn't offer
any hope for the descendants of Adam and Eve. Only the Bible can do that.
Read
this Creation Science Special Report!>
 The
Landover Baptist Historical Society: Grand Opening!
Landover Lady, Dora Jean Hazlett, sifts through old photos and artifacts
(despite her serious allergies to mould and paper-born mites) to bring
you incredible church history that goes back almost 200 years!
I
want to see old church photos!>
Get A Daily Blessing Every Day!
Sister Taffy wants to tell you what the Baby Jesus tells her! Every
Day!
click
here>
Visit The Church News Archives!
Find out what every unsaved, demon-possessed liberal doesn't want you
to know!
click
here>
Join Our Christian Mailing List!
It's Free! Be the first person in your neighborhood to find out where
Satan is going to strike next!
click
here> |
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Click
To Animate!
 The
Jesus Fish
Landover Baptist members are not
ashamed of the fish symbol. And to prove it, each churchgoer is required
to have one on all of their bumpers. They are manufactured on our church
campus using real lamb hair and cow hide leather for the face of Christ.
Starting at $95.
Happy 6,000th
Birthday, Planet Earth!
A 244 foot Angel Food cake with
6,000 gold candles will showcase the Creation Day 2000 celebration. Real
Christians from around the world are expected to pack the Landover campus
by July 21st. God willing, event organizers say they are going to cram
the last 6,000 years into a fun filled 12 hours of songs, hellfire, sermons,
plays, floods (bring a raincoat because you will get wet) a religious dwarf
quartet, and an amazing air show at sunset with the world-famous "Skydiving
Savior" from 6,000 feet. Join us! Reservations are available through
AOL keyword: "Creation Day."
 Landover
University To Begin Accepting Students From Even Low Income Families
The educational needs of every Christian
in Freehold, Iowa are important. It doesn't matter if the family is scraping
by on $250K per household or living comfortably on $3.5Million! Even the
poorest among the saved have a right to learn about their planet's 6,000-year
history, but Christians are persecuted at low-priced secular colleges!
That is exactly why we started our new Foundation for Christian Education:
Low-Income Educational Services. To qualify, families must be near the
poverty range for the Freehold area. The total income must not be less
than $251K per household. Qualified participants must submit to a battery
of physical examinations. Written proof of full immersion Baptism is also
a prerequisite. Sprinkled deceivers will be turned away.
Procter &
Gamble Shows It's True Colors: Satan Red!
After years of hoodwinking Godly
ministers into telling their flocks that so-called "rumors" of P&G's
partnership with Satan were false, the company recently proved its allegiance
to the Prince of Darkness beyond a shadow of a doubt: they stopped advertising
on Dr. Laura Schlessinger's show.
True Christians are rightfully outraged
by the move. Many refusing now to use soaps and toothpaste "While we wouldn't
let that harlot jewess, Dr. Laura, anywhere near our Godly church, folks
like Dr. Laura and John Rocker have the moral backbone to call a homo a
homo!" Pastor Deacon Fred said. "And what do the so-called politically
correct pansies who run the liberal media and corporate America do? They
try to silence them! Well I stand before you to put Procter & Gamble
on notice that the Tide is turning my friend! Praise God!" |
