Sinners Scared Straight By Holy Ghost Halloween Costumes!
"If you want to scare the Hell out of unsaved trick or treaters," says Christian store owner, Mrs. Larry Rice, "this costume will do it!"
Click Here For Every Gruesome Detail>
The Wisdom of George W. Bush
"You can fool enough of the people enough of that time."
Click Here To Learn>

A Sissy's Version of God's Menacing Horrors

But there are no commercial breaks from the Lord's wrath.
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"We Told That Fat Queen To Stick To Phone Sex!"
An embarrassed Focus on the Family issues a response to its famous ex-ex-ex-gay John Paulk being caught in a seedy homosexual bar.
Click Here for Details>

Do You Have A Demon In Your Colon?
"When you smell sulfur, you know Satan has been around." Pastor Deacon Fred preaches a horrifying sermon. Also available in Real Audio Format
Take Me There NOW!>

Chances Are, You And Your Family Will Wind Up In Hell
"When you review the Bible in context, just about everyone is going to Hell." Read Brother Hardwick's soul, stirring sermon!
Click To Read Sermon>

The Haunted Christian House in Boulder
Put a flashlight under your chin and scare your friends with "A Very Special Ramsey Christmas" (not suitable for children under 10, especially if they are wearing fishnet hose, a quarter-inch of make-up and a come-hither look)
Read all about it>

Ladies of Landover Discover Depraved Cult In Utah!
A charter jet whisked the ladies from Freehold to the Salt Lake City airport where a limousine transported them to a giant courtyard nestled between the towers of a collection of buildings called: "Temple of the Chosen Few."
Click For The Full Story!>

Kindergartners Depict Horrors of Revelation in Hellhouse!
"Young Jonah Baker uses an electronic water gun to drench the sinners with deep red paint dye as they fall to the ground from blood loss."
Read More!>

HELL: Mostly Chinese And Injun
"Imagine spending forever surrounded by 10 generations of Chinese folks, screamin' and yappin' that monkey talk while you are roasting there in Hell...if that doesn't add to your desire to avoid Hell, I don't know what will," Pastor Smith told the congregation.
Read this revealing article>

Betty's Halloween Costume Ideas
Betty Bowers gives costume advice and asks the question, "Why can't Halloween be both frightening AND religious?"
Click for Betty on Halloween>

Winner! Third Annual Personal Testimony Contest!
From the winning testimony: "I don't have nearly the Christian values it takes to win such a prestigious award."
Click to read the winning testimony>

our christian world

Pastor Orders Widow to Release Her Husband’s Soul from Mason Jar
It was discovered this week that Widow Wankin parlayed her deathbed vigil of her late husband Elmer into an opportunity to catch his soul in an empty Mason jar. Mrs. Wankin told friends: “ At the very moment he passed, I grabbed that jar and scooped up Elmer’s soul just as it rose from his dead body. That rubber flange was squished tight before that dear, lovely soul knew what had happened to it. You should have seen the look on its little soul-face. It’s all I have left of my wonderful Elmer.” Representatives at the Iowa State Fair commented: “That is a woman who knows how to put up some preserves. If she pickled his soul, you can bet it’s not going anywhere.” Pastor has called upon Mrs. Wankin to open the jar and allow the soul to join Jesus. Landover authorities are currently looking for the container, which has been hidden by Mrs. Wankin in her vast pantry.
Drunk Catholic Priest Turns Truckload of Krispy Kreme Donuts Into The Body of Christ: Boxfuls of glazed and chocolate-dipped Jesuses are thought to be on the shelves at several area Kroger stores.
Founders of Traditional Values Coalition, Focus on the Family and ChildCare Action Project View 1,467 Hard-Core Gay Pornographic Videos
"We were looking for homosexual subtext. There was something objectionable in all of them. Sometimes, it was just an ambiguous look; sometimes, just an expert blow-job. I can't tell you how many penetrations I counted," said a clearly exhausted Louis P. Sheldon, "because I left my notes in the screening room. I'm amazed at how homosexual gay porn is - everything was just drenched in hot, sweaty man-love. Well, except the first few minutes of Good Dick Hunting. That one took a while to get going."
Pastor Deacon Fred Storms Out of Conference
Pastor Deacon Fred angrily dismissed The Landover Conference of Pastors when they failed to grant him the honorary title, "His Most Godly Magnificence,” as part of his new eight-figure compensation package. In lieu of the title, Pastor Deacon Fred declared himself “infallible in all church matters, except remembering people’s names.”
Federal Authorities Continue Persecution of Christians
This time, the persecution is for, of all things, apocalypse preparation. Mr. and Mrs. John Nihilist, longtime silver Landover members, were arrested by FBI agents late Friday afternoon for excavating 100 square yards of land they own. Recognizing the End Times are near, the Nihilists had begun constructing a giant, luxurious shelter underground to escape the carnage promised in the Bible for those on the surface. Freehold police began investigating the dig site based on complaints from neighbors that the work had destroyed plumbing lines, causing massive leaks and foundation settlement of homes. A police search found extensive contraband, including a male and a female of various farm animal species. Federal authorities became involved when Freehold police reported finding a colored man and his wife locked in one of the rooms underground. An incensed Mrs. Nihilist responded: "What is the point of going to all this expense to cope with the rapture if you don't have anyone to serve?"
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Our Godly Film Reviews
The Grinch!
By helping us block the release of this film, you are helping Jesus!
The Patriot Anti-Christian Trash!
Thomas & The Magic Railroad
Dinosaur: Not for Children
Me, Myself & Satan: Demon Possession
Gladiator: Homosexual lust!
American Psycho: Bill Clinton
Man on the Moon: ...or Devil in Hell?
Toy Story 2: Satan's New Film
The Green Mile: Men, Prison, Showers
Blair Witch Project: Dora Jean Reviews
Boys Don't Cry: "Bull Dykes Don't Cry"
American Beauty: Ugly Satanic Slop
The Talented Mr. Ripley: Betty Bowers Reviews

Christian Movie Reviews With Which We Agree

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60 Second Sermons: Updated 09/25
Manson Interview Marilyn's Conversion
Big Brother: God Is Watching!
Bible Study: Brother Harry Hardwick
The Upper Room: Ladies Chat
Members Board: Decent Christian Talk
Movie Preview: Levitical Law Week
Women's Issues SisterTaffy.com
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Surf The Net With Jesus! Links!
Bible Punishment Quiz Take it!
What Did Jesus Say? Flash Quiz!

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photo Alabama Might Allow Mixed Race Marriages:
The last Godly state in the Union to take a Bible based stand in supporting a law that forbids the marriage of whites to coloreds.

We Need Dick!
Betty's Notes
Gore Unsaved
Marilyn Saved!
Periolous Times!
Church Ladies
Homos & Kids!

Lesbians Attack!
Fetus Harvest
Clinton - Porn Lover
Liberals Hate
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A Godly Warning
We have taken the liberty of requesting a restraining order on all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10 mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

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