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Even Chickens Can Get Demons!
Occult detective, Mitch Walker, informed everyone to "just sit tight." He explained, "more n' likely, we got ourselves a flock of demon-possessed chickens."
READ MORE!>
See his blasphemous, hateful anti-Christian site!
The Plan of Salvation: Available At A Reduced Rate!
If you want to go to Heaven, You need the Plan of Salvation!
Click Here For The Plan of Salvation!>
Madonna Weds - Jesus Not Invited
Louisa Marie Ciccone signaled the start of the End Times when she changed her name to "Madonna," the title of the mortal God chose at random to serve as the incubator for Christ.
Click for Details>
Cub Scout Discovers Giant Demon Bones!
Creation Scientists unearth ancient evil!
Read This Amazing Report!>
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Church Discovers Potential Supreme Court Nominee
Landover's deacons have discovered a potential Bush nominee to the U.S.
Supreme Court. Judge Robert Washburn (who changed his parentally given name
of Rupert Washington) presides over the County Court at Law of Fishlake
County, Iowa. Judge Washburn was elected in a landslide last year over his
Democratic opponent under a conservative Christian platform that advocates
abolition of abortion, internment of homosexuals, elimination of affirmative
action and repeal of all gun regulations (including that pesky waiting period
and the ban on plastic handguns airport detectors ignore). While this hardly
distinguishes him from other Bush nominees, Judge Washburn's father is
colored and his mother is a full-blooded Cherokee squaw. This means Bush
could satisfy the remainder of his diversity commitment in one fell swoop.
Judge Washburn's name has been forwarded to Dick Cheney in hopes it will
eventually reach Bush, after review by several advisors.
Missionary Called To Ski
God has called Rev. Horace Walt to move to the Swiss Alps and "ski for Jesus."
Walt (already an avid skier) will combine his love of skiing and Jesus
in ministering to people in resorts throughout Switzerland. His home base will be a $1.5 million chalet
in Engelberg right off the main trail.
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| A Godly Warning |
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We have taken the liberty of requesting a restraining order on all unsaved persons.
If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed
on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!
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The Grinch!
Court Supremes: "Stop In The Name Of The GOP!"
