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Church Moves On After Unseemly Death of Pastor Ebeneezer Smith
Pastor will be sorely
missed, and the boys who took his life will experience cold shoulders at
church for at least a couple of weeks.
Read More!>
George Bush Touches Teenage Boy
Full Story>
Knowledge May Be The Leading Cause of Pregnancy and Disease
The cure for just about everything is "abstinence," just like it says in the Bible.
Click for Details>
Rugrats - Television For Pedophiles
Wake up America! This so-called children's show is too vile for Pay-per-view, let alone Nickelodeon.
Click for Details>
Heather Hardwick's Heart and Head Healthy Habits
Christian Diet Tips!>
Download Your Demonolgy Diploma
Adobe PDF Diplomas are available to everyone who graduated with this degree.
Download Diploma>
Are You A Pagan By Accident?
Take Betty Bowers' "Shopping For A Personal Savior Test" and find out!
Take the test>
Landover On ifilm!
View our protest of the vile Hollywood play "Southern Baptist Sissies" on ifilm.com
Click Here!>
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Kimberly-Clarke, Inc. Introduces "Wet Toilet Paper"
"It is disgusting," decried Pastor Deacon Fred, "that the American people can't take care
of such a vile business without some godless company trying to make a buck by turning nature's
most tawdry requirement into fun and games. It is amazing how secular people find something
perverted in everything! Rubbing your rear with wet toilet paper will be like having a big dog lick
at your bottom – and can only whet folks' appetite for things no decent person should engage in." Pastor
later clarified his comment by saying: "Let nothing I said imply that I am in any way relaxing the Southern
Baptist edict that wives must be submissive and do everything that their husbands command."
Jury Acquits Church Member In Fatal Shooting of Deacon
Last Friday, a Freehold jury, consisting exclusively of Landover members, found tin-level tither,
Bubba Smith, not guilty of all murder charges in connection with the death of newly ordained Deacon
Paul Matthews. Jury foreman, Jebidiah Shrub, spoke to reporters after the verdict. "Even though that
deacon is new, he should've knowed better than to go around meeting people at 8:00 on a Saturday morning,
dressed in a three-piece suit. We believed Mr. Smith when he said he thought the guy was either a Jehovah's
witness or a government agent, come to collect back taxes or weapons."
Unsaved Catholic Claims Sister Taffy Caused His Deafness
Father Peter O'Riley filed a lawsuit in district court last week,
claiming Sister Taffy caused his deafness when she rebuked him at point blank
range through her well-worn bullhorn as he exited the local Catholic church.
Sister Taffy had just quoted Scripture on pedophilia when the local priest
dropped to the ground. At Sister Taffy's instruction, her lawyers have filed
an answer asserting intervening and superseding cause, in particular, that
deafness is God's punishment of sinners (Exodus 4:11). The answer asserts
that no blame should placed on Sister Taffy, who was nothing more than the
conduit through which God performed His will. Sister Taffy has filed a countersuit charging the
priest with persecuting Christians.
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| A Godly Warning |
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We have taken the liberty of requesting a restraining order on all unsaved persons.
If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed
on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!
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The Grinch!
Laura Bush Interview 
