Bestiality Bust: Miniature
Horses Lure Men Into Local Barn For Oral Sex!
"Now that I recall a conversation I had with farmer
Ed Walker last week, I should have known the Devil was
catering a party in his barn," said Pastor Deacon Fred
to a closed meeting of church elders. "After services
last Sunday, I shook his hand (which I've since washed a
hundred times in anointed Clorox handiwipes) and asked him
how the horse business was. He said, 'I raise miniature
horses now, Pastor.' And he added, 'They are easier to
raise, and the best thing about them is they stand about yay-high.'
He then motioned with his hand to the exact place an erect
penis head would be bobbing and gave me a lascivious grin I
haven't seen since I gave a gal in
As with all sins, this one can be traced to folks who
aren't American. Men
having sexual relations with horse-like creatures was
Pastor Deacon Fred assured the congregation last Sunday
that they should not worry about an outbreak of bestiality
at Landover Baptist just as long as everyone deletes e-mails
inviting them to purchase one of Farmer Ed's Horse House
lucrative franchises. "We stopped this sin and the
sinners have faced just retribution.
Level tithers entrapped into having their tallywackers
tickled have been fined and their identities shall remain
confidential just as long as their checks keep clearing.
As for the real cause of this vile sinning, we are
proud to announce that we will be break ground tomorrow on a
new prayer pavilion as special thank-you for our
generous donation to the Elmer's Glue plant in