PS All of you can eat shit..Period..(I can say this cause I know the lord Jesus as my personal savior...he will forgive me) but I will not forgive you.
I hope there's a catch and just maybe your site isn't serious, The proclamation is a very serious task. How can anyone take your church seriously.
Before you think that I'm some liberal, left wing Baptist, I'm not. I pastor a conservative fundamental church with soul winning at its heart, but I sure wish you would email me and clear some of these concerns up.
Brother Shad Smith
" I follow them around the game, across snow-capped mountains, and blasted wastelands until they accept Christ or persecute me so much that I have to report them to the server administrators for making fun of my religion. I think I've been responsible for getting over thirty accounts suspended for bigotry directed at me because of my faith."
First of all, that is a total misunderstanding of God's word and I am sure he isn't happy about someone who is so aggressive that he is turning others away from Christ. Secondly, to purposefully try and get someone banned because of persecution is absolutely terrible. I am a Christian, I grew up in the Church, I attended and graduated from Harding University in Searcy, Arkansas (a Christian University) And I am currently serving my congregation in many ways. I love the Lord, however, if he came at me as aggressively as he is, I would be turned off in even having a bible study with him under the bridge. I ask that you first teach him a more appropriate way of evangelizing, and correctly show him how to win their hearts with gentleness, patience, and love, rather then sheer agrression. Thank you for your time. Robert
Dear Landover Baptist Church/Cult
I find myself in total awe of your ignorant principals regarding the message of christ. The focal point of the Lord Jesus' message was to minister to the unsaved, not to shun them. The main proof of my statement comes from the basic fact the Jesus accepted dinner invitations with so called "heathens". It is quoted multiple time throughout the New Testament that He spent several evenings with tax collectors, prostitues, and gentiles. Furthermore, i demand upon force of lawsuit that you remove your instructions for a "free" Playstation 2 due to the fact that it is in violation of the United States Of America's identity theft laws. I warn you that i am a legally certified lawyer with a undergrad from NYU, and a law school diploma from Harvard University. The misconceptions and foolishness you preach, comes from a base ignorace most likly generated by the fact that your "pastors" never attended any seminarian training. I sincerely hope that the true MERCIFULL Jesus shines his light upon you, and you reform your church into an organization that He will smile upon in is second comming.
One Who Is Truly Saved
John. Fritz, Attorney At Law
YOU AND YOUR ORGANIZATION ARE A BLSPHEMY TO GODS HOLY NAME AND HIS WORD!! MAY GOD JUDGE YOU AND ALL YOUR AFFLIATES. IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU AND YOUR SO CALLED PASTOR DECONS THAT GIVE CHRIST AND CHRISTIANS A BAD NAME YOUR ORGANIZATION IS FILLED WITH A BUNCH OF GODLESS PERVERTS!! I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE IN YOUR SHOES WHEN I FACE GOD!!
IT IS A TRUE SIGNAL THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO TWIST AROUND SCRIPTURES AND BLASPHEME THE NAME OF HIS HOLY SPIRIT.
YOU CALL YOURSELVES CHRISTIANS? THE MESSAGES YOUR PASTOR DECONS BROADCAST ON THE WEB FILL THE MINDS OF CHILDREN WITH PERVERSE LIES AND I HOPE GOD JUDGES YOU AND YOUR WEBSITES AND ANYONE AFFLIATED WITH YOUR CHURCHES MAY HE HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOULS I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO END THIS TYPE OF GARBAGE FROM FILLING THE AIRWAYS
YOU ARE VERY SICK PEOPLE AND I HOPE YOU ARE JUDGED ACCORDINGLY!!
I will pray for you in the hopes that Jesus opens your eyes, and mostly, your heart. Jesus WILL forgive you. He already has. You just have to accept His forgiveness. How hard is that? Wouldn't it make sense, even if you do not believe in God or what Jesus did, or heaven, or eternal life to at least try and live this life the way God would want you to so you could have that eternal life? If it isn't true then you are not out anything you die and that's it. But what if it IS true?? You don't get a second chance once you die. Common sense should tell you do what's right nowjust in case. What do you have to lose??? Your eternal rest is what you have to lose. If it isnt true you aren't out anything.
You have a chance. God forgives the sinner but not the sin. He associated with sinners and straight up told them I forgive you, now sin no more.
I hope this makes you think about it. I am sure it won't as it looks like you have gone to a lot of trouble to poke fun at God and Christians and probably like I said get hundreds of letters like this. But I would be remiss as a Christian if I didn't at least point out the errors of your ways and at least TRY to steer you down the right path.
May God open your heart and have this email touch you.
Seventh-day Adventist Minister
I am sorry to say - to put it bluntly - that you are an idiot. It is my sincere hope that you continue to read this email, however, because I have a few things to point out about your "damned homosexual fish" and they will be in more friendly terms.
To start things off, I am a born-again Christian from Jacksonville, FL, and a member of Christ the Redeemer Church in Ponte Vedra. I am completely against homosexuality in any form, but there is a right way and wrong way to attack the problem. You, sir are taking the wrong way, by personally attacking gays and attributing normal everyday objects and symbols to homosexuality. Since when did yellow stand for homosexuality? That's a new one on me, but I guess I'll have to be more careful. What about Rainbow Trout? You forget that God created all the creatures of the sea and He even created the rainbow. It is unfortunate that it has become a symbol of an abhorrent sexual lifestyle, but we as Christians should not forget the true meaning behind it. The gays are merely pronouncing their own doom by using it.
And by the way, I don't remember seeing any gays in that movie, but I am a firm believer that media is only what the recipient makes it. If your grandson knows nothing about homosexuality, I can guarantee you he will not become a homo after watching this movie. The blue fish is not even male! Her name is Dory and the only thing she might be guilty of is being a complete moron. Nemo's father is not making advances on her either, as his wife - a fish of the same species and opposite sex - was killed by a barracuda.
To sum this email up, the lies you tell your congregation merely undermine the image of Christianity in the eyes of the rest of the world, making it a belief in hatred and bigotry. This makes the agenda and lies that gays have more acceptable to the lawmakers and general public. We have to fight the plague of homosexuality, but it must be fought in a way that will ensure a victory, not a resounding defeat. I submit an example to you of the email I sent to wearefamilyfoundation.org today concerning their "tolerance pledge" Notice I did not attack homosexuality directly, but their exposure of sexual discussion to children.
Paula J Johnston
My church Greenville Community Christian Church is in the process of build a new sanctuary and would like to incorporate this in the process. Can you please help?
God bless, Nixsteven@---.com
And if you don't change your ways-you will go to hell for what you are teaching. For as a pastor you are accountable and will stand in account before God Almighty. I pray you are delivered from this delusion, In Jesus Name, Amen.
I am writing as a dedicated christain and I do not believe your web page. It is outragous. You obviously are not dedicated to God. If so you would not sell that rediculous products about Jesus. I am deeply offended by it. You are not Gods favorite church because if you have merchandise on the internet that is offensive. Like "Unsaved" , "Jesus watching you masterbate" , "Vagina belongs to Jesus". I think you need to find Jesus in YOUR life and stop delling these horrible items. You are going to get sued. You deserve it for running Jesus's name in the ground and trying to sell him.
I have found certain material on your website to be very
disturbing and offensive to God. Paul, apostle to the gentiles, said "He who has not the Spirit has not Christ".
And the Pharisee's argued with Jesus about him casting out
an evil spirit and told him that he was using the power of
satin to do these things. Jesus replied to them, if a kingdom
is against itself, it would never stand, it would be divided and crumble to the ground. Then he also told them, by saying that his power was of satin, or in your case say that his power is false, was to blaspheme God's Holy Spirit, and that you would never be forgiven. I'm referring
to the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and how most of you ignorant Baptists put down on the true Christians for having total faith in God. After all, we walk by faith and not by what we see, or what other people tell us. Instead of being so consumed by a schedule and quenching God's Spirit, when he tries to move upon you, you should be open to the Spirit and seek God's face, instead of being so comfortable or lukewarm. And stop trying to pick apart and examine each word so closely to where you get confused, then maybe your relationship with God would actually be a relationship. So change your ways throw the Baptist doctrine in the trash where it belongs.
You, of course, have every right to parody those aspects of America which you see fit. That's your right. However, you surely must realize that you have no right to effectively libel all those who hold a belief system which you obviously do not share. Whatever your true morals are -- if you have any at all -- it is unfortunate that you have managed to pick up the intolerance that you seem to find in American Christianity. I am not a Baptist, and I do not agree with many of their views. I am Catholic. Your site manages to poke fun quite well at my religion, but that is not what angers me. On the contrary, I enjoy the occassional laugh at myself. I would be even more upset if I were Baptist.
I fear that you have achieved some of your goals (I can only assume): making fundamentalist Christians appear -- in the eyes of those who wish to see it especially -- to be bigoted and hateful fools; making them be associated with Southerners, and, as suits your purpose, making all Southerners appear foolish and uneducated (Isn't it remarkable that none of the forum posters can spell "Catholic," though they obviously seem to be quite familiar with Catholic "abominations" and the like?); and to generally cause as widespread a loss of faith in humanity as possible. Sorry if I have left anything out.
I quickly realized that your site was a parody, after a few minutes of being absolutely sickened. Thankfully, my intuition, that such stupidity is not possible, was correct. I then finally found your actual statement that the site is a parody. It's quite clever that you hide it in between the sort of legal hodgepodge that very few people would read closely. Not to mention that you were devious enough to then follow that Preface with a "Disclaimer" that makes no mention of the satirical nature of the site. When I first read the Terms of Service hoping to find out more, my eyes, of course, flew to the Disclaimer section. As you intended them to.
Lynn Riddle [lynnriddle5972@-----.com]
I recently read the article displayed on your webpage entitled 'Understanding Tsunamis'. I must tell you that I find it totally offensive and am genuinely surprised that you can call yourself a 'christian'.
In-particular, I took offense at the following comments;
"My stars! It really is something to see the glorious purity of God's Biblical wrath unfold on a 62-inch plasma wide screen in HDTV from the comfort of your own Christian living room. These are certainly amazing times for technology when the Almighty's insatiable appetite for snatching little infants from their unsaved mothers' arms are transported directly from the pages of the Bible right into your home theater! We ran plum clean out of popcorn! Praise Jesus!"
Were you sitting at home with your popcorn when the 747s crashed into the twin towers?
Do you think that anyone that dies does so because god is angry at them?
I'll keep this short and sweet, but a final point I would like to make is regarding one of the ads on the page 'Accept Christ and get a free play station'. This makes me sick! Luring young people in this way is tasteless.
Fundamentalist christianity could take us back to the dark ages, but maybe thats what you want! Regards
I read through this article and was actually horrified about your beliefs on the subject and was wondering if you could expalin something to me.
You talk of Muslims being against your 'God' and think that your Christain Army should be killing more! Are you planning the modern day crusades or are you just completely ignorant? For fucks sake wake up and realise that just because someone does not think the same way as you they are not evil/heathans.
You say you follow your god but i think you are racist bastards who are to stupid to allow free speech. Look at your own conststitution - it encourages free speech and encourages individuals to be equal. Are you really turning your backs to your own heritage - if you are then you must hate America as much as you seem to hate everywhere else. If not, then you are all hypocrites. Sort out the religious problems in your own country before you go rampaging around the world with a Dictator as president. You are no better the the Nazi's and i hope every American/British/Allied soldier on forgein soil who murder and rape innocent civillians burn in the ficticious place you religious zealots call hell.
May God forgive you sir.
I have seen your site, ( fell into it by accident ),.... and I would like someone to contact me ASAP regarding the content.
I'm not going to fuss and fight about it,...just please explain what you are sending through the internet.... young, innocent minds may be led to the wrong assumptions, and/or conclusions by this material.
I am of sound mind, and I have every right to know why you feel the need to use the name of Jesus in defense of what you personally believe.
Here's the thing I'm really worried about..... YOU.
Who's getting to your so called "hell" faster??????? Looks like you have leaped off the edge of reality my friend.
Please do some reasearch, ....find out something that is needed for your own sake.
I only wish for a reply....and a simple explination.
Thank you so much,
Reverend Steven Alexander Myers
I came upon your website by following a link and I saw an interesting image which proclaims: "Religion: Kills Folks Dead!" All I can say to it is:
You're absolutely, positively, 100% correct! Religion really "KILLS FOLKS DEAD!"
It is a fact that is attested to by the thousands of innocent people - both "pagans" AND christians - who died in agony at the hands of people like you!
You are all nothing more than bigoted, self-righteous, hate-mongering, sexually repressed (and PERVERTED!), mentally imbalanced, God-forsaken hypocrites! You are the perfect example of who and what the leaders of the Inquisition were! (In case you miss the point, this last comment is meant as an INSULT. I don't want you freaks going around inordiantely proud of this comment on the off chance that I got it wrong and you hicks actually admire the "church" leaders who directed the killing of TENS OF THOUSANDS of people on nothing more than torture-induced confessions based on superstitious charges.)
Oh, and on that point, you sorry excuse for humans ought to stop spreading accusations against other religions about whatever ill you claim they inflicted against christians. History (if you retards even actually bother to check) quite handily shows that of all the christians who died since the 2nd century, more or less 90% died at the hands of fellow christians (on the dictates of "church leaders" such as you!).
Next to you, Satan is an altar boy!