A Small Sample of Landover Baptist Mail Received January 2005  (unedited and in original form)

Come on Pastor Deacon Fred, speak in tongues in 5 days or your money back? Are you some sort of freak? Only those that the Lord speaks through are able to speak in tongues. What exactly are you trying to prove here? I was looking through your December 2004 newsletter and I cannot believe what I am reading here. We will pray for you and your staff...I think you guys over there need it.

Darren Naath

How Dare you call yourself a "Baptist" Church, you people make me so sick, I am a Christian and you people...spreading your sick little world. I grew up southern baptist, how dare you taunt un-saved Christians with gifts of the so called "Devil World" like a cell phone, and a play station that you tell the kids they can kill others for not accepting Jesus. I am going to e-mail my church back home with your link and have my pastor look at it and the way you have "Commercialized" religion. I cant believe you charge money for a sermon and give away "what would Jesus do" thongs, and your rules of fineing people for not going to Church....hummm....hummmm... do you know your history, sounds like a little bit like the Catholics did in the 1600's, If I saw any of you people I would spat on all of you. I will spread the word threw the Christian community about your perverted church of making money, God told me to hate you! shirts and all of that sick mess. You are the reason why the Un-saved do not speak up, telling them to log off and go die quick to burn in hell. Hey (so-called) Pastor you make me ashamed and sick to my stomach. I will make a serious dent in your little perverted church when the rest of the world heres about how sick you are.

PS All of you can eat shit..Period..(I can say this cause I know the lord Jesus as my personal savior...he will forgive me) but I will not forgive you.

Joel Dollar

I recently vistited your site. Please tell me that you are not serious. "Sex 4 Salvation???????" That was just one of the things that "floored" me when I viewed your site. Thank the Lord I didn't go into any of the filth.

I hope there's a catch and just maybe your site isn't serious, The proclamation is a very serious task. How can anyone take your church seriously.

Before you think that I'm some liberal, left wing Baptist, I'm not. I pastor a conservative fundamental church with soul winning at its heart, but I sure wish you would email me and clear some of these concerns up.

Thank You.
Brother Shad Smith
Pastor, Alabama

Hello, my name is Robert and I am a Christian from Tennessee. The reason for this email is that I am troubled by your article about the World of Warcraft evangelist. While I admire his zeal and of course his heart in winning souls for Christ, I am not happy with this particle attitude portrayed in the article.

" I follow them around the game, across snow-capped mountains, and blasted wastelands until they accept Christ or persecute me so much that I have to report them to the server administrators for making fun of my religion. I think I've been responsible for getting over thirty accounts suspended for bigotry directed at me because of my faith."

First of all, that is a total misunderstanding of God's word and I am sure he isn't happy about someone who is so aggressive that he is turning others away from Christ. Secondly, to purposefully try and get someone banned because of persecution is absolutely terrible. I am a Christian, I grew up in the Church, I attended and graduated from Harding University in Searcy, Arkansas (a Christian University) And I am currently serving my congregation in many ways. I love the Lord, however, if he came at me as aggressively as he is, I would be turned off in even having a bible study with him under the bridge. I ask that you first teach him a more appropriate way of evangelizing, and correctly show him how to win their hearts with gentleness, patience, and love, rather then sheer agrression. Thank you for your time. Robert

Robert Henderson


Dear Landover Baptist Church/Cult

I find myself in total awe of your ignorant principals regarding the message of christ. The focal point of the Lord Jesus' message was to minister to the unsaved, not to shun them. The main proof of my statement comes from the basic fact the Jesus accepted dinner invitations with so called "heathens". It is quoted multiple time throughout the New Testament that He spent several evenings with tax collectors, prostitues, and gentiles. Furthermore, i demand upon force of lawsuit that you remove your instructions for a "free" Playstation 2 due to the fact that it is in violation of the United States Of America's identity theft laws. I warn you that i am a legally certified lawyer with a undergrad from NYU, and a law school diploma from Harvard University. The misconceptions and foolishness you preach, comes from a base ignorace most likly generated by the fact that your "pastors" never attended any seminarian training. I sincerely hope that the true MERCIFULL Jesus shines his light upon you, and you reform your church into an organization that He will smile upon in is second comming.

One Who Is Truly Saved

John. Fritz, Attorney At Law





Doug Carone

I truly wish you could see the route you are taking with your disrespectful website. I am sure you get hundreds of emails like this, but I pray that maybe one more will show you that you are heading away from God's precious light and that the path you are walking is going to lead you to eternal damnation. What you have on this world is BRIEF! Why would you give up eternal life for a BRIEF moment here on earth? Jesus loves you. He STILL loves you even though you spew filth about Him. He wants you to see your sinful ways and come to Him.

I will pray for you in the hopes that Jesus opens your eyes, and mostly, your heart. Jesus WILL forgive you. He already has. You just have to accept His forgiveness. How hard is that? Wouldn't it make sense, even if you do not believe in God or what Jesus did, or heaven, or eternal life to at least try and live this life the way God would want you to so you could have that eternal life? If it isn't true then you are not out anything you die and that's it. But what if it IS true?? You don't get a second chance once you die. Common sense should tell you do what's right nowjust in case. What do you have to lose??? Your eternal rest is what you have to lose. If it isnt true you aren't out anything.

You have a chance. God forgives the sinner but not the sin. He associated with sinners and straight up told them I forgive you, now sin no more.

I hope this makes you think about it. I am sure it won't as it looks like you have gone to a lot of trouble to poke fun at God and Christians and probably like I said get hundreds of letters like this. But I would be remiss as a Christian if I didn't at least point out the errors of your ways and at least TRY to steer you down the right path.

May God open your heart and have this email touch you.

Nick B,

I know your article was very tongue in cheek, but I wanted to be on record that God did not send the tsunami. The earth quaked and huge amounts of water were displaced. Simple as that. The true tragedy was that warnings several years before that the region was woefully unprepared for such an event went unheeded. That certainly was not God's fault or His doing.

Lawrence Brown
Seventh-day Adventist Minister


You, as a supposed 'church'(bride of Christ)are sarcastic in your comments.A simple "no that, is not the right answer" is sufficient. To call someone "an unsaved moron" is the epitimy of being non-christian.If your church wants to be a reflection of Jesus Christ, I dont believe Jesus would have called someone a moron because they didn't know an answer. Please consider your responses to wrong answers. Love in Christ, Steve Casper,saved.


Dear Pastor Deacon Fred, 

I am sorry to say - to put it bluntly - that you are an idiot. It is my sincere hope that you continue to read this email, however, because I have a few things to point out about your "damned homosexual fish" and they will be in more friendly terms.

To start things off, I am a born-again Christian from Jacksonville, FL, and a member of Christ the Redeemer Church in Ponte Vedra. I am completely against homosexuality in any form, but there is a right way and wrong way to attack the problem. You, sir are taking the wrong way, by personally attacking gays and attributing normal everyday objects and symbols to homosexuality. Since when did yellow stand for homosexuality? That's a new one on me, but I guess I'll have to be more careful. What about Rainbow Trout? You forget that God created all the creatures of the sea and He even created the rainbow. It is unfortunate that it has become a symbol of an abhorrent sexual lifestyle, but we as Christians should not forget the true meaning behind it. The gays are merely pronouncing their own doom by using it.

And by the way, I don't remember seeing any gays in that movie, but I am a firm believer that media is only what the recipient makes it. If your grandson knows nothing about homosexuality, I can guarantee you he will not become a homo after watching this movie. The blue fish is not even male! Her name is Dory and the only thing she might be guilty of is being a complete moron. Nemo's father is not making advances on her either, as his wife - a fish of the same species and opposite sex - was killed by a barracuda.

To sum this email up, the lies you tell your congregation merely undermine the image of Christianity in the eyes of the rest of the world, making it a belief in hatred and bigotry. This makes the agenda and lies that gays have more acceptable to the lawmakers and general public. We have to fight the plague of homosexuality, but it must be fought in a way that will ensure a victory, not a resounding defeat. I submit an example to you of the email I sent to wearefamilyfoundation.org today concerning their "tolerance pledge" Notice I did not attack homosexuality directly, but their exposure of sexual discussion to children.

Very respectfully,
William Davis

I just found your website and I found it to be extremely filthy and disgusting. How can you call this a Christian website and say the unsaved are unwelcomed? I don't understand how anyone who is saved could put something so filthy and ungodly on the web. The quizzes were horrible with all the little pop-ups like "wrong answer you unsaved idiot", or "wrong answer you moron"? The profanity and some of the subject matter was right on the verge of pornography. You should be ashamed and you should ask God if you are really saved!

Paula J Johnston

I had to stop and take some time to write you a little letter. I recently read an articale on your website about real life religion on World of Warcraft. While that is all well and good, spreading the message of christ and how he died for us, the way your players go about it disturbs me. Hounding of players till they accept or turn and persecute your players so they can report them to a GM is not right. We are to tell the message, and all who are willing will accept, not hound people until they relent just to be left alone. That give christians a bad name. Also I viewed your store and the items you have on sale are absolutely apalling! Buttons annoucing that "my catholic priest molested your honor student" is not somehting a church of God should be promoting. We should be praying for and helping our catholic brothers not ridiculing them. Thong underwear I also think a church should not be selling, let alone underwear that says, "Have a nice lunch Pastor". Humor is all well and good, but we are to be lights to the world, so that we may shine forth His glory, and not be part of the world and catering to the rest of them. this is not the proper message that a church of God should be promoting, and I will be showing this to my church pastor who will them pass this along to the Baptist comunity leaders.

Raven M.

Hello, I am very interested in your new EZ slide offering plates that process credit card transactions. I was actually searching the web for merchant services that will serve our whole congregation like that. I tried to research "Secured Technologies" but could not come up with any information. Could you please give me a telephone number or web address or any information towards this.

My church Greenville Community Christian Church is in the process of build a new sanctuary and would like to incorporate this in the process. Can you please help?

Thank you,
Rosanne Davis

Enjoyed the article about the online games. I play ------- myself on the Loki server. Not many Christians there but I do my best. I have a BA in Religion and a MA in Family Therapy so at least I know how to talk to them. Beginnign to think I was the only Christian playing these games.


your website is a joke,right?You people will learn one day when you stand before JESUS the only savior how real he is.You pollute the air I breathe with your foul air discharge from your mouths.You are the type of people who have created the society we live in today.You think gay is o.k.and whatever you want to do is ok.You are the first one to gripe when your rights are in jeopardy yet if i say God in a public place i dont have that right.You guys suck,as a christian not a bible thumper I love you because that what Christ says i should do.So I hope who ever you are you seek him and ask for forgiveness.If not you will rott in HELL even if you believe it or not.Read the bible and read the newspaper headlines,you will see the prophecys are very real and so is JESUS.

God bless, Nixsteven@---.com

I was looking for Christian bible lessons, your fruits are not of The Holy Ghost.

And if you don't change your ways-you will go to hell for what you are teaching. For as a pastor you are accountable and will stand in account before God Almighty. I pray you are delivered from this delusion, In Jesus Name, Amen.


Dear Pastor,

I am writing as a dedicated christain and I do not believe your web page. It is outragous. You obviously are not dedicated to God. If so you would not sell that rediculous products about Jesus. I am deeply offended by it. You are not Gods favorite church because if you have merchandise on the internet that is offensive. Like "Unsaved" , "Jesus watching you masterbate" , "Vagina belongs to Jesus". I think you need to find Jesus in YOUR life and stop delling these horrible items. You are going to get sued. You deserve it for running Jesus's name in the ground and trying to sell him.

Dena Wiggins

Dear So called "Pastor",

I have found certain material on your website to be very disturbing and offensive to God. Paul, apostle to the gentiles, said "He who has not the Spirit has not Christ". And the Pharisee's argued with Jesus about him casting out an evil spirit and told him that he was using the power of satin to do these things. Jesus replied to them, if a kingdom is against itself, it would never stand, it would be divided and crumble to the ground. Then he also told them, by saying that his power was of satin, or in your case say that his power is false, was to blaspheme God's Holy Spirit, and that you would never be forgiven. I'm referring to the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and how most of you ignorant Baptists put down on the true Christians for having total faith in God. After all, we walk by faith and not by what we see, or what other people tell us. Instead of being so consumed by a schedule and quenching God's Spirit, when he tries to move upon you, you should be open to the Spirit and seek God's face, instead of being so comfortable or lukewarm. And stop trying to pick apart and examine each word so closely to where you get confused, then maybe your relationship with God would actually be a relationship. So change your ways throw the Baptist doctrine in the trash where it belongs.
Misty Politz

I am a christian So screw you. Alright, you're site contridicts it self over and over and over and over. you're beleif system is a cycle of things that dont make any sence. you might want to reevaluate you're system, and realize that the bible has been translated 5 times before it was translated into english. one more thing. SUCK MY DICK! AND LICK MY ASSHOLE. and guess what. I AM GOING TO HEAVEN AD THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Parody is one thing, mockery is another, but what you people have accomplished transcends words. I cannot believe the audacity it must take to create such a crass parody, and then not have the decency to even put one, tiny disclaimer somewhere where it can actually be found on your ridiculous site. I intend to see that people, slowly but surely, find out about what you are doing.

You, of course, have every right to parody those aspects of America which you see fit. That's your right. However, you surely must realize that you have no right to effectively libel all those who hold a belief system which you obviously do not share. Whatever your true morals are -- if you have any at all -- it is unfortunate that you have managed to pick up the intolerance that you seem to find in American Christianity. I am not a Baptist, and I do not agree with many of their views. I am Catholic. Your site manages to poke fun quite well at my religion, but that is not what angers me. On the contrary, I enjoy the occassional laugh at myself. I would be even more upset if I were Baptist.

I fear that you have achieved some of your goals (I can only assume): making fundamentalist Christians appear -- in the eyes of those who wish to see it especially -- to be bigoted and hateful fools; making them be associated with Southerners, and, as suits your purpose, making all Southerners appear foolish and uneducated (Isn't it remarkable that none of the forum posters can spell "Catholic," though they obviously seem to be quite familiar with Catholic "abominations" and the like?); and to generally cause as widespread a loss of faith in humanity as possible. Sorry if I have left anything out.

I quickly realized that your site was a parody, after a few minutes of being absolutely sickened. Thankfully, my intuition, that such stupidity is not possible, was correct. I then finally found your actual statement that the site is a parody. It's quite clever that you hide it in between the sort of legal hodgepodge that very few people would read closely. Not to mention that you were devious enough to then follow that Preface with a "Disclaimer" that makes no mention of the satirical nature of the site. When I first read the Terms of Service hoping to find out more, my eyes, of course, flew to the Disclaimer section. As you intended them to.

Lynn Riddle [lynnriddle5972@-----.com]

Dear Pastor,

I recently read the article displayed on your webpage entitled 'Understanding Tsunamis'. I must tell you that I find it totally offensive and am genuinely surprised that you can call yourself a 'christian'.

In-particular, I took offense at the following comments;

"My stars! It really is something to see the glorious purity of God's Biblical wrath unfold on a 62-inch plasma wide screen in HDTV from the comfort of your own Christian living room. These are certainly amazing times for technology when the Almighty's insatiable appetite for snatching little infants from their unsaved mothers' arms are transported directly from the pages of the Bible right into your home theater! We ran plum clean out of popcorn! Praise Jesus!"

Were you sitting at home with your popcorn when the 747s crashed into the twin towers?

Do you think that anyone that dies does so because god is angry at them?

I'll keep this short and sweet, but a final point I would like to make is regarding one of the ads on the page 'Accept Christ and get a free play station'. This makes me sick! Luring young people in this way is tasteless.

Fundamentalist christianity could take us back to the dark ages, but maybe thats what you want! Regards

Michael Eller

Dear Sir,

I read through this article and was actually horrified about your beliefs on the subject and was wondering if you could expalin something to me.

You talk of Muslims being against your 'God' and think that your Christain Army should be killing more! Are you planning the modern day crusades or are you just completely ignorant? For fucks sake wake up and realise that just because someone does not think the same way as you they are not evil/heathans.

You say you follow your god but i think you are racist bastards who are to stupid to allow free speech. Look at your own conststitution - it encourages free speech and encourages individuals to be equal. Are you really turning your backs to your own heritage - if you are then you must hate America as much as you seem to hate everywhere else. If not, then you are all hypocrites. Sort out the religious problems in your own country before you go rampaging around the world with a Dictator as president. You are no better the the Nazi's and i hope every American/British/Allied soldier on forgein soil who murder and rape innocent civillians burn in the ficticious place you religious zealots call hell.

Disgustedly yours
Wil. Scollie

Pastor, One day sir you are going to have to stand before the Almighty and make a true accounting of your life. I for one from this day forward thank God that I do not stand in your shoes.

May God forgive you sir.
Mark Bowen

My name is Steven Myers.

I have seen your site, ( fell into it by accident ),.... and I would like someone to contact me ASAP regarding the content.

I'm not going to fuss and fight about it,...just please explain what you are sending through the internet.... young, innocent minds may be led to the wrong assumptions, and/or conclusions by this material.

I am of sound mind, and I have every right to know why you feel the need to use the name of Jesus in defense of what you personally believe.

Here's the thing I'm really worried about..... YOU.

Who's getting to your so called "hell" faster??????? Looks like you have leaped off the edge of reality my friend.

Please do some reasearch, ....find out something that is needed for your own sake.

I only wish for a reply....and a simple explination.

Thank you so much,

Reverend Steven Alexander Myers

Landover Baptist Church Pastor, I came across this article ( http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0105/wow.html ) on your website. I was just browsing the internet for news and ran across it. I have read it front to back several times and I must tell you that I am very disturbed by what it is saying. Being a man of Christian Faith myself I can say I am only speaking on my behalf. What is the point of this article? I am a 35yr old man, Happily married with 2 beautiful children. I have also been serving the US Army for 15 years now. I play this game World of Warcraft and am totally offended by its contents. This article quotes a highshool youth as saying that he thinks the majority of people that play this game are "lonely kids who don't have any friends." He goes on by saying he doubts "any of them play sports so you can pretty much guess that there are lots of gay boys and fat little pale-faced Wiccan girls on the servers who hate themselves and escape into virtual characters so they don't have to deal with their pathetic lives." Now, I beleive before something goes into print whether or not is a quotes should be backed by some sort of facts or figures. I know plenty of men and women (over the age of 30) that are fellow christians that play this game. The majority of the people that play this game are over 18yrs old. Associating a certain stereotype with who plays what games is an unbiased opinion and all those kids this one youth relates to as "the majority" of players is a simple putdown to those types that need our support and understanding. Understand, I have no problems with evangalism and sharing MY Christian Faith. I do have a problem with Labelling and making people feel inferrior to me because I am a Christian. Name calling or labelling as I put it just makes us as Christians look bad to those that we are trying to help, does it not? If I were a youth and I fell into the stereotype that this youth refers to I would be turned totally off of God due to the fast that I was just called in essesence "Pathetic". How does this statement help? The next statement that got me was the one about "Most people who are mean, liberal, nasty, lonely, unsaved losers in real life choose to play the Horde" He goes on to say that "people and guilds who are conservative, Republican and pretty much easier to win to Jesus Christ play Alliance". I PLAY Horde and I play it because it is more challenging. I am not mean, nasty, lonely, liberal, nor UNSAVED! This again is another misrepresentation of what the FACTS are. I can not beleive this article went to print. Games are Games, we are in the 21st century. People play games for the enjoyment and yes some play to escape. Some people that play are as this youth describes. In my time of playing these types of gamers are far and few between. I think it is a total lack of respect to the intelligence of everyday people that play this game to be "labelled" and/or "stereotyped" by this article. To me it would turn those off of God that we are trying to save. I feel that there could have been a much better representation of this youth's Evangalism if certain quotes were either left out or reworded. Evangalize away! But when you are hounding someone who has bluntly told you that they are not interested at this time on hearing the good word your article is telling me well then we don't need them. He states that he broadcasts "Jesus Loves You! Please Love Him Back or He Will Burn You In Hell! PM Me if you want to learn more!" He then states that he follows those people around that respond to him UNTIL accept Christ or persecute him for his religeon. He then states that those that do harrass him after he has harrassed them he reports and gets them suspended from the game. How is this reaching those that do not want to hear the word at this time? How can that HELP! What if they may want to at a later time, just not now! Is this what your church expects of its evangalists? This is telling me that those that get booted out of the game may never come to christ now becuase this one youth got them banned for not wanting to hear the good word at that exact moment?! This is uncanny how this seems to go against what we shold be doing. Now, last but not least. Do you know that you are taking tithes from an Illegal action? Your youth goes on to state that any item that looks like it has something to do with the occult he auctions off in the game for "gold" he then sells on E-bay and Tithes this money. Well it clearly states that this is Illegal under the World Of Warcrafts Terms Of Service (TOS) and End User License Agreement (EULA). This entire article has upset me as a christian. I play this game and the accussations/stereotyping/labelling and then the actions by those to me sound like they turn those that may want to change to a life with God away! Not to mention that this evangalist of yours is conducting an illegal act based ont he TOS and EULA. Maybe someone should reread this article.


Hey, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but everyone is entitled to respond to it...you people just have no idea, that's why you act and portray Jesus and his teachings as some kind of joke. You only believe in what you see, how people act, thinking that they are supposed to be perfect because they believe in Jesus, when they cannot be perfect because of sin, which you delight in participating in. You will see in the coming days how much truth their actually is in the Bible, the true Bible...you are breaking down the lives of people who are already confused about God and making him out to be a crock of shit. Do you really consider yourselves as funny? Take a joke? Would that be your response? You know what I think is funny, that you find joy in defiling the very truth that will save your spirit. I know none of this is going to make you stop your criticism of My Holy Father, but I want you to know that there are people out there that base their entire lives on what you are making fun of, and you won't find a more righteous person on the face of the earth...but how would you know, you look at people and religion like they're just something to make fun of. You have blinded yourselves to the truth because it is more important for you to make money off this pitiful website or pretty much do what you want than to honor the very being that created you. God have mercy on your soul.

I came upon your website by following a link and I saw an interesting image which proclaims: "Religion: Kills Folks Dead!" All I can say to it is:

You're right!

You're absolutely, positively, 100% correct! Religion really "KILLS FOLKS DEAD!"

It is a fact that is attested to by the thousands of innocent people - both "pagans" AND christians - who died in agony at the hands of people like you!

You are all nothing more than bigoted, self-righteous, hate-mongering, sexually repressed (and PERVERTED!), mentally imbalanced, God-forsaken hypocrites! You are the perfect example of who and what the leaders of the Inquisition were! (In case you miss the point, this last comment is meant as an INSULT. I don't want you freaks going around inordiantely proud of this comment on the off chance that I got it wrong and you hicks actually admire the "church" leaders who directed the killing of TENS OF THOUSANDS of people on nothing more than torture-induced confessions based on superstitious charges.)

Oh, and on that point, you sorry excuse for humans ought to stop spreading accusations against other religions about whatever ill you claim they inflicted against christians. History (if you retards even actually bother to check) quite handily shows that of all the christians who died since the 2nd century, more or less 90% died at the hands of fellow christians (on the dictates of "church leaders" such as you!).

Next to you, Satan is an altar boy!