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 Healthy
Arab Males For Sale at Our Annual Household Help Auction!
Most members of this
congregation have never seen a Mooslim in person. You've seen them on
the news, blowing up buildings, and in movies, stealing babies and
killing Christians. I've seen a few of these so-called
"people," up close when I've visited...
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Dancing
in Taliban Blood - God's 10 Secrets for the Perfect War!
America's 21st century soldiers may no know how God
wants them to behave while fighting our enemies. The following are
the 10 most prominent Biblical tips for waging a Godly war in the Middle
East...
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CIA
Reveals Secret Weapon in Fight Against Wacky Islamic Terrorists
It's up to the U.S. Military.
Wherever them pigs can serve, in whole or in parts. According to
our reading of that Koran of theirs, even by-products work like a charm.
The CIA figures that, with big tubs of bacon falling...
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Whose
God is More Vicious?
Is it the fictional
Moslem god called "Allah" or the real Christian God of the
Holy Bible? Answer questions correctly to prove you know whose God is
more vicious...
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Can
the World of Star Trek Help Americans Understand Muslims and Their
Culture of Terror?
Gene Roddenberry, gathered
ideas for his fictional Klingon species during a trip to the Holy
Land in the late 1960's. After only a cursory viewing of an early
episode of Star Trek, Landover Baptist Pastors were shocked at
how closely Roddenberry's Klingon characters resembled Arabs, in
both their features and mannerisms....
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Allah
is NOT God!
Most members of this
congregation have never seen a Mooslim in person. You've seen them on
the news, blowing up buildings, and in movies, stealing babies and
killing Christians. I've seen a few of these so-called
"people," up close when I've visited...
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How
to Spot a Terrorist
The FBI shares your outraged
concern about religious fanatics who aren't Christian. Because the
Bureau specializes in generating after-the-fact paperwork, we already
have the answer to your...
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Operation
Rescue Agrees to Expel Al Qaeda Trainees
The federal
government learned last Thursday that hundreds of al Qaeda operatives
have been attending secret courses in bomb-making, breaking and entering
and the targeting of physicians at Operation Rescue centers throughout
the Midwest...
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Paint
Your Easter Eggs With Arab Blood
As
our True Christian™ President, George W. Bush hastens to move pieces
of Bible prophecy into place to finish the Apocalyptic puzzle, it brings
a tear of joy to my eyes to see the citizens of America rising up for
the glorious, if gruesome, cause of Biblical mayhem! It couldn't be any
clearer, brothers and sisters...
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United
States Department of Faith: Salvation Legislation Bill
"The Salvation Security
Act" is a bill intended to save all natural born or naturalized
Americans (unless they are Mexicans who snuck in and are, therefore,
exempt from honoring immigration laws applicable to everyone else)
(hereinafter "Real Americans") from the eternal fires of
certain damnation at the hands of the Lord who loves them
...
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May
God Damn You To Hell if You Call Us Either Fanatics or Fundamentalist
But, you see, whereas American
conservative religious fundamentalists may kill folks for God, them
rag-wearing Muslims do it in a "fanatic" kind of way. The
folks they kill don't know the difference, but we do. You don't need a
secular....
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Federal
Government Enlists Southern Baptist Pastors to Assist With Racial
Profiling
The United States Federal
Government is calling on Southern Baptist Pastors to offer up their
expertise in racial profiling. As millions of Americans turn to
God for answers in a time of national tragedy, the Federal Government is
uncovering a True Christian® army of experienced racial profilers....
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President
Bush Reveals His 18-Hole Plan to Invade Iraq
"You see," said the
President, using a seven-iron to point, "That Osama fellow was hard
to hit because he was in the rough. So that whole 'we got to hit Osama
to win the game' thing was sort of a mulligan. We just forget about all
that. But, you see...
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The
Taliban Pin-Up Girl!
Our
soldiers don't need to worry about lusting after anyone over there, no
sir...
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Fish
Decals, Bibles and Hand Grenades: Landover Baptist Love Packages Arrive
in Iraq
The Senior High Youth Group
shipped nearly 2,000 lpackages to American Soldiers in Iraq. The
Landover Ladies worked diligently over the last several weeks, going
door-to-door to collect leftovers, filling Tupperware® containers with
everything from half-eaten lasagna to Christmas cookies...
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Vengeful
Japs Declare War on USA, Use Pokemon to Launch First Strike
Only an unsaved idiot would
believe the Japs forgot about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. As Godly Baptist
Christians, we recognize that the Japs have been planning to invade
America since the day we humiliated them and sent them into the history
books as a race of short-sighted, nin-com-poop's...
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The
Twisted Road to the Iraqi War
The fabulous Bush
administration keeps those stupid liberals guessing along the twisted
Iraqi Road to War. Follow the yellow bricks of uranium to find out
who is responsible for the trail of deceitful breadcrumbs that helped
throw America-hating Dummycrats off....
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