August 2007

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Letters To Landover: Pastor's Mailbag

JULY 2007
A Small Sample of e-mails unedited and in original form

You have HAITMAIL!


You Biblebashing fags are one of the biggest source of laughter the internet can afford these days. Close-minded, self-satisfying, decieving, facist ... Yeah. Such wonderful "Christians" you are-- very un-nazi like. You take away the true meaning that Christians tried to live by. If, that is, it's not been raped to death by you stupid arses.

Weren't Christians named after Jesus? So why are you trying to impose YOUR beliefs on other people? He didn't do that. He offered kindness and meaning to other people. He didn't force it on them or anything of the sort, much unlike you. See where I'm headed?

Go read some of the Bible and figure out what I'm talking about.

If you really want to keep giving Christianity an even worse name than it's already given itself with stupid antics like yours, go ahead. Dictate who people can love. Dictate what they can do. Dictate what they can THINK. But I'm not one of the poor little idiots that will be reading your site, gasping and agreeing mindlessly with you.

Nor will I be spending my time bitching about the real, true LOVE existing between two men or women whilst I know that my priests are raping little innocent fucking children.

Post this wherever you like. Call me a heathen. Call be a Devil-worshipper. Do whatever the Hell you want, dears. People will just read it and laugh.

And it's not me they'll be laughing at.

By the way, I masturbate every night and it feels GOOOOOOD.

PS: I take back my insult. Fags way cooler than you. OMFGLOLZ

Rachael McDougall []

I stumbled upon your website and was amazed that it could be a “Christian” website. You do believe in Christ, don’t you? If so, you need to study His teachings a little more. Attacking everyone else is never a thing He would do. I read your article about Catholic girls seducing your young men and couldn’t believe that anyone would be so brazenly spiteful toward other people and still claim to be even remotely associated with Jesus Christ. I, myself, am not Catholic. I do not believe in their theology, but I don’t see a need to attack them. Some of them may not wear the most modest clothing, but I can assure you, I have met Baptist girls who aren’t exactly virtuous. If you are trying to teach your youth what is right and good, don’t forget to teach them how Christ treated the publicans and sinners. He NEVER berated them or told the world how evil they were. Instead, he tried to help them—which brings me to another point. I hope I am missing some clever underlying meaning behind your “Un$aved NOT Welcome” sign on the email page. It looks to me like you are saying that some people are not welcome to learn about Jesus. I sincerely hope that is not what you are saying. If so, I hope you have a good explanation ready for when you meet God.



I have no Idea where to even start. I just happened across your web site while looking for material on a "Women of the bible" study my women's group is doing.

I just realized why it is so hard to witness to the unsaved. It is heart breaking to me that you could believe what you are teaching and preach in Jesus Name.

I study and witness to Cults (mostly Mormonism) and you have done what the cults do. They take Gods word out of context and use it for evil things.

Who do you think that Jesus was preaching too? The Saved? I think not! If we as Christians close our hearts and churches to the "unsaved" then we are turning our backs on what our Savior taught us.

To exclude those who need to be around us the most, the people that need to know Christ, you have reduced what our Savior did for us. He died for us while we were still in sin, so that we would have a chance to repent and know him.

What have you done with the parable of "casting the first stone"

Do you think that for one second that God can not reach out and change anyone he chooses? Do you know how many people find God in the pew of a church? You place God in a small box!

My God is much larger than that!

I intend to place you and your "Church" on our Church's prayer list. I will pray that your eyes are opened to the disservice you do to the people you preach this to, and the people that are kept from and offended by this.

If I did not know Gods word before reading your beliefs, this would have turned me from Christianity.

As a Christian it saddens me greatly.


Please hear me out: please reply

I realize it might make you mad to have people try to disprove God and Jesus everywhere you look, and I'm sorry so many people are clueless, but these people are the Satanists, Atheists and idiots. You need to learn to "Love thy neighbor" and stop this crap about us being fat, drunk, lazy, cheaters. I am, of course referring to your article and book I weigh 100lbs and am 5'5, which means I am normal for weight. I don't drink or do drugs, because I believe it is evil. I work hard for my money. I don't cheat to get through life, I study. I work. I am NOT a democrat. I don't wear make-up.. it's unnatural. I am overwhelmed with guilt for even hurting an innocent little bug. I don't tell you about what I think about your religion... There used to be a thing called respect. What you are doing is slander... We don't put a bunch of bull all over the internet about how we think your religion sucks entirely, at least the real ones don't. Besides your thinking of lame-brained teenagers who AREN'T Wiccan, but just Goths and Emos who thinks it cool to say they are Wiccan to rebel. You don't have to like us, or believe us, just don't prey on us because you THINK you know everything about how we work. The only times I use magic (the energy that comes from the planet, NOT the devil... "God's" energy he put there for us to use so he didn't have to do EVERYTHING for us) is when I see pain or suffering in someone, or when a river seems lonely, I plant a tree near-by and put a spell on it to make it grow strong, etc. We aren't evil and if you should attack anyone, attack your own enemies, the satanists instead of making new ones, because we are peaceful people and the FIRST and ONLY rule of Wicca is "Harm none." We Hate Satan as much as you do, because the people whom worship him make ALL Pagans look like monsters. This is the 21st Century, it's time we make a peace offering and be civil so we can respect each other instead of slander speeches going back and forth. Please let us be in.


Lisa A McRae

P.S. please reply with your answer.

Pastor Deacon Fred,

I was once again going through your web site and was shocked to see the T-Shirts "Religion: Kills Folks Dead". What are you trying to prove here? Have you not yet read the bible, or is there something about it that you simply don't understand? I think you totally missed the point in your college years. Shape up!

Darren Naath

Dear Deranged Baptist,

I would like to let you know, that you have written what is quite possibly the most absurd article on your little website about anal sex in harry potter. This book was placed in the fiction section for a reason. It's a classic story of good triumphing over evil. The thought that your people would call J.K. Rowling an author who wrote about sodomy in her childrens book is utterly disgusting. In my opinion you are the people who are the most disgusting on this planet. And as for your comment on the Harry Potter books training young people to become satanists, I hope the author and anyone who truly believes that knows they are a complete lunatic.

I hope satan eats you all alive.

tee hee.

yours truly,


It might almost be humorous, your website. But unfortunately, some people will believe you are for real. This will cause you much grief and suffering one day. You will be judged for your parody on a very real and serious subject. God will not be mocked. Maybe you had a bad experience with the "church" in your youth. I am sorry that happened if that is the case. But you are able to discern the truth now and you choose to mock God so you are responsible for your choices. I hope God has mercy on you and you will see the truth. Eternity is a long time. It's a promise you will live forever. But where do you want to spend eternity? Hell is real and no joke. The worst part is that you may lead innocent people to Hell. If you want to go there, it is certainly your choice, but never try to bring others into it with you. May your eyes be opened. In His Love, Conni


I'm going to tell you right now, I think your website is completely obscene and misleading. Those who come across it are almost brainwashed by your garbage! None of your movie critiques made any sense. They were completely wrong! You all are way too obsessed with your stupid religion to stop and appreciate a good film, or to stop and acknowledge that there is more to life than being "saved". If you ask me, you aren't saved at all. You're are all seriously in need of some mental help.

I hope you all die, and when you are standing before your God, I hope he points and laughs at you all and send you straight to whatever vile hell you believe in.



Someone who HATES Religion

WOW you must be the most uneducated and unchristian group i have ever heard of in my life. All of your stories are lies and completely made up. If I am not mistaken the bible says not to lie. I mean tell me if I have misread this because I would love to know. And you go about judging others. I do believe the bible says to not do that as well. Hmm if you ask me your the cult not some little kids who read harry potter have fun burning in hell though I am sure you will fit in real nice there

Nicholas Futch


My name is David Hunt and I would like to ask your help and your opinion. Let me clarify: I am a 21 year old senior at Liberty University and I have been feeling the tug of God for me to get involved in missionary work of some kind. I’ve been kind of confused by this but recently I’ve realized where I’m supposed to be...on the internet! I see an open door for an internet ministry called, “Instructions” which will be focused on college aged people (18-24 yrs. old) and it will be a real evangelism/ teaching ministry like nothing else.

I currently own a copywriting business,, where I’ve done business writing and marketing for businesses online for the past few years. I am giving it up however successful it has become because it is not what I feel that I should be doing. I need to serve God on a greater level. I feel that this work has given me the backbone to how to run a very effective internet ministry however and I now know how to make it incredibly well marketed and get tons of website traffic. I 100% believe that is the reason God had me start this business when I was 19, just to learn the ‘tricks of the trade’ of the internet marketing media’s.

I want to use a lot of the social networking websites that many people my age are constantly on, such as YouTube, MySpace, Friendster and FaceBook. These will be linked to a website for the ministry and I want to take over the internet with “Instructions”! I know I can make this HUGE and bring a lot of 20-somethings to Christ.

I will be uploading evangelistic videos on YouTube, writing blogs on JoeUser, designing a website, making a MySpace page, etc.

I want no credit; it all goes to Jesus Christ. I am an incredibly hard working, ambitious person who is sick of seeing the world fall apart the way it is, especially with those my age. No one is ministering to these people in the way that is most effective for them and that’s what I want to do. I want to create a freely distributed on-line newsletter (weekly) as well as a print newsletter for churches (monthly) and I want to run an on-line blog.

I am looking for some sort of financial support for this; if you can’t help, please advise me of where I should go. This is my passion, my zeal and my fire. I will work 12-hrs per day, everyday and put my life into this work because I know what God wants me to do. I will do anything to see this take off the ground how God has envisioned it in me.

Thank you

In Christ,

David Hunt

Deacon Fred (and all associated with those SENSATIONALIST "emergency memos",

I sincerely HOPE that your website is intended as HUMOR, because what you seem to be doing there (if you are serious) is SINFUL in itself! The SENSATIONALIST attack of everything + anything is surely UNCHRISTIAN, and is designed purely for the purpose of fleasing weak-minded SHEEP that have (like you) never read the Bible!

Have you, by CHANCE, read the part about false prophets in the days before the Judgement? YOU are SURELY among those! And, YOUR day of judgement will come also. THINK about it!

Your anti-American and anti-Christian views are a snowjob to rally weak-minded, illiterates that cannot or will not) read the Bible for themselves, and are consequently sucked into your "pledges", "contributions", or whatever you name the FLEACING OF your "flock"

If THIS world's justice doesn't catch up with you, SURELY His justice WILL. Had you ever actually READ the Bible, you might know that false prophets, such as yourself, are prominent in the days leading up to His judgment, and are a tool of Satan.

Give your dark master this: ,,!,, (my middle finger)

Toast slowly,


I am not going to argue theology, doctrine or the deity of Christ. I would just ask you to consider one thing:

What if you are wrong and there is a holy and righteous God that created and orders the universe? What if that God is going to judge the world for its sin? What if that God provided a way for you to be saved through Jesus Christ?

In the 7th chapter of Matthew Jesus warns us that there will be many people claiming to be his followers and even doing things on His behalf that really do not know Him. God will judge the world, including you, by His standard as outlined in the life of Jesus Christ; He will not judge you by the words, deeds or standards of mankind, but by His holy word.

I truly believe that there is a judgment day coming and I do not want to see you punished for your sin, so I urge you to examine yourself and the words of Jesus Christ in light of the scriptures themselves and not by the actions of others claiming to follow those scriptures.

Please visit this link: --


Tommie J. Goggans III






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