A Small Sample of Landover Baptist Mail Received November 2003  (unedited and in original form)

i just read your article of how a boy was hospitalized by his grandfather by pastor wilkins. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!! i am amazed that motherfucker isnt in jail! it is bull shit to say that a pastor was "so possessed with Godly rage" to proceed with a extension cord to burn the penis off of his own grandson! what the fuck!!!! is this man fucking insane?! how is it that a group of people have annointed a person such as this pastor wilkins to have a congregation. the matrix movies and all its subsequent movies and associated products are for entertainment. not to "brainwash the minds of the unfaithful." Also your silly ass idea to go around to burn anything with the matrix is totally unbased but also a felony! you cant just take stuff in the name of God and say i am burning this to save your mortal soul!! it just like saying i robbed a liquor store and got wasted because jesus told me so! and if the baptist church is harboring crazy pedifilic asswipes like father wilkins saying that a true divine intervention has taken place in the destruction of a young boy's penis then i will fucking kill myself in the name of God himself and have my ashes spread across the land of the dead!!!! besides that, how many of your members have proof that God exists and has talked to them? i already know the answer, none. even if you saw someone who was a "non believer" of the baptist faith (which is a human explanation for things we dont understand like the afterlife. basically religion all together is just an explanation of things we dont understand) is full of shit. now, if your still hell-bent on doing the right things for your selves you will have that guy arrested! also the pastor is probably one of the biggest biggits ive have ever seen. big fucking deal that there was a national geographic magazine in his room. shit thats nothing! i have over 4 gigabites of pornography on my computer and God has yet to destroy me! lay off and make sure that this crazy pastor is thrown in jail since you people are all about doing the right thing anyway!!


University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee

To Whomever -

You know, I spent quite some time reading through the various areas of your website and quickly became appalled at your claims of being Christians. However, I know realize what I didn't at first -- that you are PURPOSELY expressing beliefs opposite from Jesus' own. Your intent may be for comedy, but if so, you lack even the miniscule amount of humor to be considered tolerable.

I am a Christian. I have been for years. One thing I do that God hates (and you all apparently never do) is sin. Yes, I am a sinner. I have impure thoughts from time to time. I occassionally want what someone else has. God help me, I've even cursed a time or twelve (which, by the way, your pastors do consistantly in their online articles, sermons, etc.). I judge others (as do you). I sin. I am not bragging about this fact, but I AM letting you know that, even though I am a sinner, I am also a saint and WILL spend eternity at Jesus' side.

I also wanted to quickly address a major issue of your website (and, consequently, the main belief of your church): the unsaved are unwelcome. You have stated that you will not associate with any person that does not shun the non-believer. Guess what! You just rejected Jesus himself! How often does the Bible tell of Jesus entering the home of a sinner and spending time talking to them? Countless.

Get your facts straight. Meet God (the TRUE God, not the god of Self that you worship). Get saved. Avoid hell!

Nathan Rossin

You must be enjoying life! I wonder if David Koresh would have enjoyed your lifestyle. I have never seen such a blatant & disgusting manipulation of the Word of God since the Jehovah's witness' last visit. You need to get out more-much more.


Dear Mr Pastor

So i've just read your article on spongebob square pants correctly. Do you really think its appropriate to incapaciatate a child in order to prevent him from seeing a hidden message that no competent and sane person could ever see! I mean seriously who reads that into a cartoon, get serious! Unless you are predisposed to a scenario you cannot read into a cartoon that there is a hidden penis and testes. In fact it suggests that the person you noticed this is in fact either obsessed with genatalia or is in fact a pervert themselves, otherwise they would not have noticed the connection. Childrens channels are not conspiring to corrupt our children, unless of course you are paranoid retards. Don't get me wrong, children must be protected from geniune violence etc etc, but if you raise children to fear fucking cartoons they will grow into rebellious adolescents which trust me in my experience is a lot worse than you imagine. I will point out that i am not just some random down and out atheist. In the next few years i will be a doctor in the community and to be fair the tripe in your article is laughable. I would love to hear a response justifing why it is suitable to harm a child to prevent them watching a cartoon that you and you only will see as offensive. I am open to serious discussion, but to your actions there is no justification. I will take a non-response as weakness and that you are in fact ignorant to these issues other than to cause controversy.

Yours willingly

Richard James Booth Ellis V


OK me again, the english doctor to be! Can you please please explain to me why it is wrong for inter racial relationshipsto happen. Why are you judging Kobe Bryant on the colour of his skin, he has probably done more good in his life than you but you judge him by colour. In cases like this i am ashamed to be white, i really am! Do you realise that it probably a million to one that jesus was white, think about the climate he came from. Jesus was more than likely black! Also what reference in the bible discrimates against blacks? I seem to remember a commandment being love thy neighbour, well my neighbour is black! Hypocritical if you think i should hate him for his colour. I said it last time, i will say it again, you are ignorant! I am not open to your discussion, but i believe that you are using christianity as an excuse for your racist, fascist and nazi viewpoints. Bear in mind christianity is not a real religion, but merely based on an early form of cuneiform, as i gather you are too ignorant to recognise this it is one of the earliest forms of written communication and the symbolism of the bible and its message is derivred from written word centuries before christianity was conceived, so please blow yourselves and give me a reasonable excuse for your irrational and rascist viewpoint before i give your address to a serious group of people who will literally tear your views apart piece by fucking piece. God, if he indeed exists, shouls torture your souls for your fucking awful beliefs. I will also point out there in no word or point in the bible that stops me calling you people every name under the fucking sun because these words are modern taboo and not religiously offensive, so fuck shit cunt kiss my fucking ass you scum bag mother fucking piece of wank stain pricks. And its all rightous! Suck it (not literally cos i know you're fucking homophobic scumbag fuckers as well). I bet you're glad my girlfriend gave me this address, one of these days i'll turn her against your forsaken religion cos its bollocks

yours disgustedly

Richard James Booth Ellis V

Dear Landover, When I first stumbled across your site, I thought it was a sick and elaborate practical joke. But apparently not. Before I begin, I'd like to let you that I'm not what you'd call a conventional Christian. I do not believe in organized religion, I only believe that there is a God, and I believe he saved me during a very dark hour in my life. And there's not a day that goes by where I don't give thanks that I'm alive. Having stated this, I must say that I was mortified by some of your articles, more specifically, your so-called movie reviews. You once called the Matrix trilogy (not TRINITY, mind you) "anti-Christian propaganda." Webster's defines propaganda as "any systematic, widespread dissemination or promotion of particular ideas, doctrines, practices, etc. to further one's own cause or to damage an opposing one." Sound familiar? How DARE you speak of propaganda. I notice that whenever you review a movie, you make it forbidden for anyone but a priest or deacon to actually see it. Could this be because you're lying (or as you like to say, "bearing false witness")? And I found the article on the young boy being drilled and electrocuted because he went to see the Matrix Revolutions terrible. The claim is that the old minister committed such a violent act against his own flesh and blood because the Holy Ghost moved him to do so. Claiming that the "Jews in Hollywood" are responsible, and should compensate for the boy's injuries. Were this not so tragic, I'd say it was funny. Hollywood didn't 'MAKE' him do anything. See, we're given this thing called FREE WILL (argue amongst yourselves who grants it to us). This old man's hand was never forced. He put his own grandson in a critical medical condition because, in my opinion, he suffers from serious delusions of grandeur. This is not a holy man. This is a nightmare to the world of therapy. And I could possibly surmise that the grandson has his doubts about the Baptist faith, so I hope gramps is proud of himself. He just took the Landover assimilation tactic and possibly reversed it. In conclusion, not everyone has to believe what you do, and we're not going to hell for having our own opinions. No, people go to hell for their actions in life. And yours are atrocious.

Get lives,


You know Hell is also for those who blaspheme God. I hope you get saved before death takes it's toll.

Rhonda Hakim


You may feel that the devil lives inside hollywood. Or maybe not even all of it, just the Matrix. What worries me is that a religious man took his grandson and stuck his penis into a lamp socket. To hold the movie responsible for the actions of this man is to give him free will to do it again if ever another movie should move him to do so.

Wether or not you feel that the Matrix is an un-holy movie, no man has the right to do what this man did to his grandson. It is disgusting that you would allow this man to think he was in the right. The buck does not need to be passed onto hollywood for this one. No where in the movie does it show genitalia being used to upload people into the matrix. Hopefully you too can see past the movie and judge the actions of this man accordingly. Write back to me if you feel that i am wrong in any way. I believe my address is attached but if not it is anamistic@hotmail.com. Hopefully you too will agree that this man needs help and should seek some sort of medical help.

Michael Helm

how can you own a child? a child is a human being and you cant own a person with a will of their own! and how can you say that women are worth less than men? it would be impossible to have a world with out women, but men are expendable. it truly disgusts me that you re using children, CHILDREN, to spread word about your religion. you look down on those who arent christian, who have beliefs different than your own, but it is everyone else who should look down on you with your horrible ways of buying children. i hope you realize what you are doing is horrible and i hope you retract yourself from doing it immidiately!

Goddess bless you,

OK, THAT'S IT. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU. YOU SAID A BOY ENTERED HIS WANG INTO A LAMP SOCKET BECAUSE HE WANTED TO GO INTO THE MATRIX? YOU ARE ONE SICK BASTARD. I HOPE YOU DIE. Of course this letter is not a threat, I am just expressing my extreme anger towards your f****** dumbass remarks about things. Man, you are one sad, sad being. And every movie you have some kind of stupid remark... I cannot believe there are people like you in this world. Woah, and you also put God's favorite ways to kill too? Man this is a crazy bastards dream. Haha then again some of your remarks are SOOOOOO FUNNY. And I just read something about the movie "Ice Age" and about how the bible says nothing about it? It doesn't make it not true. And it's just a movie you dumbass.

And then you said that the green little guy in Monter's Inc. is a little testacle? HOLY **** you really have to get out. Sad...

And you said satan cast some of the movies? THEY ARE ENTERTAINMENT. WE KNOW THEY ARE NOT REAL. Oh well, what's the use? You probaly grew up listening to sick things like this so I hope you a fast recovery. Thanks for lightening my day. Although you have brought anger, you have also brought me many laughs.

Cindy Wescott

what the hell is wrong with you. your website is a sick parady of what jesus of nazareth stands for. i am appauled at how you critized the matrix...seeing how it directly paralells the messiah. maybe if you took time to watch it instead of sitting on your bloated ass updating your webside then you'd see the truth. i really hope the day comes soon when i look down from abraham's bosom and see you burning in the shores of hell.


Jonathan Borden

I am writing to tell you how repulsed I am to find your site and your doctrine on the internet. I am praying right now in the NAME OF JESUS that you be convicted of your Prejudice and ignorance against PEOPLE that our Heavenly Father lovingly created. I am also praying that somehow, someway, in the NAME OF JESUS, that your doctrine will fall as surely as God in Heaven is not Prejudiced against us "injuns". AMEN

I am a Native American who has found the love of Jesus in my life, and I am a Baptist, but when I saw your site, I was ashamed of the Baptist Church as a whole. I know without a doubt that God loves my people - maybe even more than you people who sit on your high horse and judge others. Well, the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are not rulers in your church, but the Devil himself has you all fooled. There are two sides to every story...God created us "injuns" to be born and raised right here in Native America - he did not ordain our country for you... you came, you plundered, you raped, you brutally, savagely, murdered millions of "injuns" not to mention our way of life and our food source - the buffalo. Did you really think that God would not have us to fight back with whatever strength we had against you, ugly, dirty white people, led by Satan? God holds the keys to everything and if it was His will that us "injuns" be annihaliated, then His Will would have been done, instead He chose for us to survive. His Ways are unfathamable to us. You are the ones who are lesser in God's eyes, not the people who's only desire was to live in peace and harmony with the earth our Creator gave us. I pray that God will open your eyes in the name of JESUS and help you to repent from your sins or that God will have mercy on your souls when you come into HIS JUDGEMENT! It says in the bible that God is the ONLY JUDGE!!! "Judge Not that you Not be Judged" Do you even read the bible? You should study up on the books where it teaches us to love without prejudice, forgiveness and to live in peace with one another!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Written In the Name of Jesus,
[Name Extracted], Assiniboine
Fort Belknap, Montana

Betty Bowers, you are a sick individual and YOU WILL have to sit in judgement with the Lord God when you die and YOU WILL be sent to HELL for mocking His name and HIS love!

Shame on you.

Leslie Milne

you just cant get over your anger with the baptist church,can you.the mormons have jerald and sandra tanner and ed decker to deal with,and the baptists have chris harper.i suggest that you move on with your life and try to find something more productive to do than continually bash the baptist church.i used to be a jehovahs witnes,and was consumed with anger after leaving the organization.but i got over it,and am now a born again peace filled christian.i dont fill my time bashing and spewing hatred and ridicule to jehovahs witneses,and i think your treatment of the baptists reflects an emotional immaturity,anger,and inability to move on with your life.and surely you are aware that you tell lies about their church.many of my co workers are baptist,and they know that your site doesnt accurately portray their faith.get over your anger,and you will live longer.

sincerely,david rambo md.

U disgust many with your filth!!!!...pray 4 forgiveness for your own sake..


i do not agree with your topics at all. this is a total hypocritical site and should be outlawed or something. i myself am christian and this is totally offensive to me. oh my gosh i must not be saved. you are all so stupid in your views. but then again everyone is entitled to their opinion. so this is mine, you should shut down this site. its totaly stupid. what would you say if you were a "good parent" and you saw this. i mean really. a wwjd thong? now whos the sinner if there is evil behind elf. you should be ashamed of yourself. i will send this site to all of my fellow "sinners who arent really saved" and let them decide. you will be judged on your ways you know this right. well i hope you end this stupid mockery of "christian beliefs" this is stupid. okay so now if you dont end it i will find a way to make it end. i swear to everything i believe in. thank you and have a nice sleep knowing you put a bunch of people in jepordy. its called a pharacy and thats what you are so yeah. leave everyone alone!

with lots of love, (only cuz im a good christian)

angel dilbeck

Its so sad to see that you have wasted your time mocking and bringing reproach to the name of Christ instead of sharing the gospel truths that could actually save someone from an eternity in hell. It appears that the creator of this website has a very sick sense of humor . If this site is anything but a bad joke , than I must say, you need some serious counseling.

Melissa Mccrm4

I am totally shocked at the products you as a Baptist are offering. Sir, are you even saved by the Grace of all Mighty God???????? This garbage is an outrage and should be tossed in the trash. I was looking for some things about a Christian Thanksgiving and came across this sight. I am in Shock at the things I found in your store. May God forgive you.

Signed Doug McCullough

Remember the only way to get to heaven is through Jesus. That's it, period. God Bless.

Sean Ballisty

I've read through a few of your links, and I can't believe what I'm reading. I can't decide if this is some cruel joke or if you people are actually being serious. I would hope it is a joke. You are the most racist people I have ever heard of! There is no superior race/religion, and it's people like you who make America so screwed up. I am appaled by some of the things you suggest, like the Halloween things, and the Matrix articles. I cannot believe that the grandfather of that boy didn't get thrown in jail.

As for the article on Finding Nemo, I'd like to know where you found your version of the movie to watch. Nemo's father is a single parent because his family DIED. I'm sure you don't agree with single-parent families, I'm sure you'd rather send your children off to live with someone else if your wife died in front of your eyes right? He loves his son so much that he travels half way around the world to find him. Not that you would ever have that type of love for someone besides yourselves. Nemo doesn't run away, he is captured because of his own stupidity. But right, you are the "superior people" and do nothing stupid ever, I forgot. No where in the movie does it suggest that he's living with another male.

And please, stop using the excuse that god took over your body or whatever to justify the stupid things you do.

Megan Goucher

Dear Pastor Deacon et al,

After perusing your website for the Landover Baptist Church, I would like to say that I am apalled at your presentation of a christian individual to the secular and multi-religious world. Now, with all due respect, I commend any man or woman who follows the scripture no matter what his or her sect, but your website disgustingly distorts the Bible and true Christian viewpoints. A good christian would realize that Jesus wished for the Golden Rule--where we love and embrace those different from us. Your website and parish denouces women, racial and ethnic groups, homosexuals, and desegregation. Honestly, I'm shocked that a picture of Strum Thurman does not permate ever interface of your website.

To begin with as a Christian, you should realize the importance of women in the Bible and in society. Now, every Bible-toting red-neck will claim that women are dirty and due to be subordinate to men since Eve was first born from the rib of Adam and later introduced original sin to humanity. However, they neglect to remember that God made women as he made man and we should cherish all the lord's creatures. Additionally, the fail to see God's enormous power. If God had wished that Jesus be born from a mutation of a rock, he could have. Instead, he chose the Blessed Virgin Mary to carry his hope for humanity. He choose women to have an important part of the creation process and in nuturing life (like Mary Magdalen who washed Christ's feet with her hair). In turn, He would denouce the idea of women being put down under those who feel like they are superior to others. Under God, no man is higher than any other man, but all are subordinate under the Trinty.

Additionally, Christianity was born in the Furtile Creasant-- the Middle East. Moses himself was Egyptian and many of the people in the Bible were not Anglo-Saxon White. Therefore, I truly doubt that Jesus would have cared for these blatantely racist comments toward Black and middle-eastern peoples. He himself was probably not as fair-skinned as popular iconology has dipicted. Just because people think differently from you, they do not deserve to be killed. Yes, some extremist groups of Muslims have committed atrocities against the world, but how exactly is that a far cry from zealot Southern Baptist groups which murder those at abortion clinics because they don't agree with their position?

As for the homophobic remarks, I remind you that the tale of Sodom and Gommorah was one tale out of many which contained a homosexual couple denying God's word. How many times, however, does the same document mention heterosexuals who deny God's messages? You condone on your site kicking homosexual children from your home (as a parent) and hurting those who are homosexual in society. God clearly states in the Bible to love all, and that He will make final judgements. Also, he mentions that "He who has not sinned should cast the first stone".

What truly bothered me however was the store on your website. I request an explanation as to why you sell products for ideas that are against your own beliefs. For instance, you have "Heretic", "sodomite", and "atheist" memorabelia. Why would you sell things that you adamently disagree with? Furthermore, you have anti-Bush merchandise though he represents many of the conservative ideas you value. I was also apalled to find a church selling female thong-underwear-- putting the female private area on display though you denouce sexual promescuity (especially on the part of a female). What is your explanation for this?

Allison Mariah Parkin

okay this is really dumb and i think that its rude to the christian church that people would do this and i think you should shut-down your site thanks

in his name

leanor hjelms

Please tell me that this site is a total hoax, because to use Jesus Christ's name the way the it is used in your ads I am absolutly horrified. I am a christian and unfortunatly there isn't a whole lot of us out there, but I have got to say the things that I read really upset me. First of all since when is it ok to send the unrighteous away from the church those are the people who should be the most welcomed, because they are the ones in need of Jesus's saving grace. I read the 'Elf' article what is that all about? However, I totally agree with Hollywood's evilness no doubt, and I do beleive some parts of the 'Elf' were a little iffy, But homosexuals and movie people do not need to burn in hell. You should pray for the lost sinners, and by the way all of us deserve to go to hell, but thank the Lord of his mercy which is for absolutely everyone as long as they give him their life. I know ya'll are prehaps a hoax and this really worries me because there is that much hate for the christians especially the baptists. I just would like to know why you feel this way and to tell you that from what I have read you are the ones leading this world to hell. You probably should have sat through a few more sunday schools. Just please let me know that this site is not for real I would just like to know that you really do not beleive all of the things that are on this site.

Ray and Nancy Brooker

I find your policies concerning “Negroes” despicable in todays' society. It’s simply disgusting. Your racist arrogance, exceeded only by your greed in the name of Christ only exemplifies your narrow mindedness and stupidity and your motives to use faith and religion as a farce to personal wealth. I hope all that money you make is lost to lawsuits.

Peter Berner