June 2009

Go to Brother Harry Hardwick's Bible Answer Man Page!

The Latest Product Line From Landover Baptist

60 Second Sermons


In a Desperate Attempt to Turn His Demographic Against Christ, Jay Leno Steals Material From Landover Baptist and Dozens of Other Web Sites! 


Jay Leno Showcases Landover Baptist's WWJD Thong During his Last Month on The Tonight ShowFreehold, Iowa - Church members were saddened to hear from their secular television watching domestic help that former late night talk show host, Jay Leno is still getting his giggles at the Lord's expense by stealing material from the Landover Baptist Church web site.   "Mr. Leno most recently took our world famous WWJD Thong and displayed them as one of his own 99 Cent Store products," says Pastor Deacon Fred.  "Every Christian knows that these thongs have been $11.99 for the last 8-years!"*  

"What gets my goat," says Pastor Deacon Fred, "is that pasta slurping Mary Worshipper, Jay Leno did this same thing several years ago by stealing our advertisement to give anyone who accepts Jesus Christ as their Savior, a free digital phone. The least that moon-chinned moron could do is mention that he is so hard up for material, he has to steal it from the Landover Baptist Church! No doubt he'll have to find a more liberal church to steal from since he was fired from the Tonight Show and forced to move to the unsaved-family friendly 10PM slot."  

Several years ago, NBC contacted the service provider who hosts the Landover Baptist Church Web Site and asked them to remove a link to material Jay Leno stole from Landover Baptist. "Their non-Christian lawyers had the effrontery to ask us to help them cover up the evidence of NBC's theft from us!  Well, we tricked them into thinking we had destroyed that evidence, all the better to surprise them in front a jury of outraged Christians! Praise the Sweet and Living Name of Jesus Christ!"

Jay Leno Uses Landover Baptist's Free Digital Phone Offer on the Tonight ShowThe Landover Baptist Church avoided several enormous lawsuits in the past, most notably from The Backstreet Boys and McDonald's Corporation.  "McDonald's didn't like it when our Baptist Researchers found out they were putting cock rings in their Happy Meals as part of a promotion for Lord of the Rings," said Pastor Deacon Fred.

Landover Baptist has a team of Jewish lawyers on hand to ward off what they expect will be another threat from NBC.  "The article you are reading now, will have to be taken down as soon as we get a message from Mr. Leno's lawyers," says Pastor Deacon Fred.  "We're just a humble church, but to Mr. Leno it seems like we're a secret treasure-box of ideas for his television program, and he doesn't want anyone else to know about it,"  Pastor continued.  "I know when they steal our material and then ask us to remove the video, it is a sign of the End Times. Satan loves to make Christians out to look like nin-comp-poops! That is exactly what Jay Leno is doing when he uses material originally created to help Christians in their walk with the Lord, for a few cheap laughs.  I want these anti-Christian hate crimes to stop!  People who trade in hatred need to be thrashed within a inch of breath, or worse!  If they don't stop soon, Jesus is going to make us hurt someone. Mr. Leno should no longer be allowed to use his pornographic television program to promote his hateful personal agenda to turn his demographic against Christ!"


*Christian Product Placement Specialists working for the Landover Baptist Store suggest that Landover Baptist's Abstinence Thongs are not affected by the recession.


Hot Links From This Article






Copyright 1998-2009, Landover Baptist Church. All rights reserved. Terms of Service
The Landover Baptist website is not intended to be viewed by anyone under 18

Click to Visit the Landover Store!

As Seen on Network Television: Wear Nasty Bible Verses
Biblical Wisdom Gear!

Like the Site?  Buy the Book from the Writers of Landover Baptist!

Colored T-Shirts for Sinners at the Landover Baptist Store