February 2007

The Latest Product Line From Landover Baptist

Accept Christ and Get a Free Playstation2

Letters To Landover: Pastor's Mailbag

A Small Sample of e-mails unedited and in original form

I personally am a EX-Baptist, far smarter then your average joe. Most of your information regarding wiccans is either false or twisted versons of a truth that is quite misleading. So as a attempt to i will try to clear a few misunderstandings. But first i will like to say I left Christianity NOT GOD. Nor do i actually practice wicca or witchcraft but have been merely studing it.

Now i'll admit i don't know the details regarding the tossing of the dead cat into church but i do know such acts are considered to be unacceptable by the vast majority of wiccans and chances are that particular witch was...must have been a dark one. For you see unlike christianity their are 3 distinct sides of wicca, Light, Gray, Dark, Light Wiccans usually don't even practice magic and if they do its usually spells that are simple healing spells and what not. Gray wiccans generally practice magic and try to stop and convert Dark Wiccans to the Light and generally try to caste counter spells. Neither Gray nor Light innvoke demons or the devil. They worship what you would consider false gods, yes. The dark wiccans are the real problem. They usually consist of teenagers and/or others who are seduced by the darkside and generally don't have a long life as you could probably guess. But to say wicca entirely is evil would be a extremely False satement and that girl who tossed the dead cat was no doubt seduced by the darkside. It is unfortunte that all you have seen (or choose to see) was those practice black magic. I end this email with this reminder. Judge not least ye be judged.



short and sweet..... I read your how not to be a homo info.. Personally I dont like homosexuality , but your tips on how to stop your kid from becoming one are just down right retarded. Fuck you, and your god that will banish you for your bastard ways. Nothing gives you the right, and Im sure you are far from perfect in gods eyes.

Erin Becker

I am appalled. As a lifelong Christian and a lover of righteousness, I have never seen such filth being perpetrated against the clean and holy minds of Christians.

The person who wrote this article is most certainly a closeted gay man who was no doubt abused as a child, and most certainly a servant of Satan. Not surprising the Lord taught us that demons can appear as lovers of light.

Shame on you and your absolute ignorance! May the lord forgive your sincere desire to come out and play with the homo's. As for me and mine, we will serve the God of Love, wear sandals like our Lord Christ, speak consolingly to the lost souls, (including Gays, for that is what some were who came to love Him,) and with love to all. But, of course, you must know better than our Lord.

Shame on you for making our Lord appear so vile, filthy, evil minded, and ignorant. No wonder so many are learning to hate our Christain way of life.

You will be rewarded for your judgements.

Sup Scruz

I was looking for information regarding the Bible and a proper diet and found your quiz. Somehow telling people that they are an unsaved moron for getting a wrong answer doesn't seem very christian.

Borden Barrows

After reading your little guide to spanking a child, I can only hope it was written as a joke.

If not then all I can pray for is for people like you to burn in hell

Read the Bible sometime not the damn proverbs

M Gretz

Oh my goodness. I found your website today. You are pretty crazy. You need to be institutionalized and medicated. Oh my goodness. I am Christian. I am baptist. I love God.

You are hateful, deluded and crazy. I have never heard anything so antiquated and ignorant. Do you really believe pagans drink Christian blood? They may not be right or be delusion but you take this way too far. You are living in a fantasy world. You need serious psychiatric help. Please take yourself to a psychiatrist in Jesus' name right now.

You are lost. You do NOT speak the word of GOD. I have NEVER heard anything more hypocratic or blasphemic than the delusions you spew on your website. May God save your soul. You are lost!

BLESS YOU! Please SAVE you!

Greer Garcia

You poor un-educated people. Do actually look into anything before you write about it. the answer must be no, as i can tell from your article. How dare you insult people you clearly know nothing about. If you thing that Wiccans worship Satan you need to do some serious research! Satanists worship Satan, it is a completely different religion to Wicca. Wicca is a nature based religion that you clearly know nothing about. All this stuff about Wccans not washing and wearing makup to make our skin look pale is just crazy, i have a shower etc.. every morning and night and i wear makup just the same as any other woman. And as for the piercings and unclean jewlery, you must be joking, again i have the same type of ear piercing that christian women have and guess what i even have a pot of jewlery cleaner!!! Your comment about Wicca just being a name for unsaved teenagers who hate their parents.. what a load of rubbish! I love my mother and father more than anyone in the word. My mother is a Christian herself and even she is disgusted by your article.

I do not deny to you that some Witches do evil things curses etc.. but you need to realise that not all witches are wiccan. Withcraft is not a religion it is just witchcraft. Witchcraft is practised by many different people and religions, you don't even have to belong to a religion to practise witchcraft! Satanist do witchcraft and the type of people you discribe sound like satanists to me. Whatever they are they are certainly NOT wiccan, we only worship nature and earth it is against our religion to harm other people and we also believe that anything we do in life comes back to us times three.

The wiccan rede states "an harm ye none do what ye will"

Your article is full of untrue nonsense. The only people you have proved to be evil is yourself. I don't know any Christians who act in the way your article has shown you to. It's pathetic!


How in the world could you tell 9-year old Timmy to expect his pet dog to be eaten by the Chinese in hell?

K Hollabaugh

I think that what your are doing is horrible, god gives people children as a gift not to be sold. I think that when your life is done here on earth that you will pay for doing what you are doing! All of you should be ashamed of yourselves. I am contacting our local news team to find out exactly what is going on in your compound!


You people need to be saved!

In the Name of Jesus Christ, I command all the demons inside these poor souls to leave right now! Free these people from your bondage! Go back to Tartarus where you belong! You can not resist the Name of Jesus Christ! Stop giving Christianity a bad name! In the mighty Name of Jesus, leave!

Quino Josephine

The website and ministry that you run is no more than racist, disgusting, antiChristian pomposity. God has made us all equal and not one person is unable to gain salvation through the blood of Jesus Christ, it is available to EVERYONE. What I do suggest is this Bible verse:

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15

We are all in need of salvation otherwise we will go to hell. However it cannot be overlooked that everyone of us is sinful to our core and deserves death. Thankfully to Jesus, that need not happen. He has justified us and paid our ransom. Everyone at Landover Baptist Church is sinful and deserves death, including all the preachers and teachers. Not one person is clean, without Jesus and through Him ANYONE may be saved. True Christians should preach the gospel with LOVE, not with hate as is done in your ministries. Everyone is welcome at the feast of the Lamb of God. Jesus always welcomed sinners and never turned them away. The wages of sin is death, but through Jesus we CAN have eternal life, but we must also be Christ-Like, which is not taught by your antiChristian, authoritarian ministry. There is only one true church and that is the bridegroom of Christ. His church is free and does not require a fee. His church does not declare people born malformed to be demon-possessed, rather that they are a result of the sin passed down generationally since Adam and Eve, which has multiplied in that time, and has caused some children to be born deformed. His church does not condone the use of pornography for any reason, unlike your ministry. There are so many points i could come up with, but there's no need because you know them all, because you have concocted this RACIST, ANTICHRIST, SCHIZOPHRENIC society. I would like to think that your ministy is nothing more than a joke, because I find it hard to believe that anyone could be so unChrist like but call themselves Christian. If it is not a joke, then I suggest you read the gospel of John and discover therein the true meaning of Christianity throught Jesus Christ. We are on the battlefield and we must reject all sinful behaviour and thoughts, however we must not reject the sinner.

I pray you all find Jesus, the true fountain of life,

Peter Rooney

Northern Ireland

is that the first image that comes to mind when we think on a black christ on your site?????

Ronnie Nelson

i pray that you will repent and delete this website. your beliefs are disturbing to other christians - The Lord Rebuke YOU! christians means christ-like. this isnt even funny. its repulsive !

"Brother" Harry, you are the most offensive being I have heard from in quite some time. The words that come out of your hateful, judgemental mouth are so despicable and uneducated that it is almost laughable.

One can only look at your gross physique and know that your arteries are so clogged from eating animal carcusses that luckily you won't be on this earth much longer to spew your ignorant hate.

I'd say see you in hell, but I won't be there. BURN HARRY BURN you worthless devil!

Pam Holt



Mary Porter

Obviously, this is not a building where the Holy Spirit resides or God or Jesus would appear. I would not want to go to a building where there is not an invitation for the Holy Spirit to be free to all. Jesus did not go after those that were "saved", He pursued the sinner. I would rather go to a church were the Holy Spirit resides than a building where the devil resides. Judge not that ye be judged. I 'd rather be judge by God than man. This appears to be a building where man writes rules that permits him to decide what is evil and what is not evil. This is an evil building.

A man would not hide his face. A boy will hide in shame.

Carolyn Moore

Who the fuck do you think you are???? You obiously dont know the true meaning of love. If Yeshua was to ever come down from His holy cloud He would kick your hypocrite ass!! Doesnt the Bible say Judge les thee be judged?? doesnt it say to obey your parents?? in fact by that harlot bitch pulling that young ladys hair for tring to buy tampons as infact abuse!! Jesus is defenetly not for violence. hell he didnt even kill the people who killed Him!! thats love. All you are is a fuken money church who serves mamoth the god of money!! the next thing your going to say is that God dint want you to eat organic food, eat all the food with all those pesticides and chemichals that will rot your brain and give you cancer!! sure you have great merchandise... but arent you taking it a bit too far?? theres a thin line between telling people that Jesus isnt what the catholics say He is or that religion sucks ass. But telling lil kids to steal from their parents for you so they can get a playstation 2 is just as bad as your pastor fucking a donkey. YOUR THE REASON WHY I STOPED GOING TO CHURCH!! YOUR THE REASON WHY KIDS HATE GOD!! YOUR THE REASON WHY YOUR KIDS ARE SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND COMMITING THE SIN OF WITCHCRAFT AND HOMOSEXUALLITY!!! ITS YOU!!! YOU GIVE YESHUA A HORRID NAME!!! I HOPE THAT YOUR NOT JUST SOME ASSHOLE WHO LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER TRING TO GET HIS JOLLIES BY TELLING THE WORLD LIES AND MAKING A PROFIT WHILE YOU MATERBADE TO MARILIN MANSON SUCKING HIS OWN DICK!!!!!


Kittunies Stutes

Hello people of Landover Baptist Church,

I must say that if your site is humor (satire?) then make this clear to your visitors. Further, I am a believer in Jesus.

To those who write emails to the Landover Baptist Church and are Christian or claim to be Christian:

Do not put in swear words


Do not put in condeming words.


Do not put in any such thing lewd, mean, snide, swear words, accusations or any such thing. Yes, I understand that you are angry, offended, hurt, etc. However, when you put in things like...


Then it really just makes YOU and the FAITH look bad. In fact if a nonChristian reads those, they will just LAUGH at you.

They will say:

Ha ha! Look at the Christian hypocrite freakin' out! Ha ha ha!


Wow those Christians sure have clean mouths! (sarcastically)

If you need to express your anger, do it politely.

So instead of saying...


Try saying..

Sirs and Madams. It concerns me that you would believe that we really just beat our kids for anything.

There nice and polite.

If ya swear at them and condemn them, the only people you are shaming and making look bad are yourselves.

Please think about it.

Colossians 3 8

But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.



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