Landover Baptist Mail Received May 2002  (unedited and in original form)

I can not believe your web site. I thought I was going to be taking a honest bible quiz, You all are truly deceived, by the devil himself. I will pray for your salvation. And another thing...when I supposedly got an answer wrong, it called me an unsaved idiot. For and unbeliever that would happen to come to your site and take the quiz and be called an idiot, I could see why people are saying the things about Christians that they do. We are to have LOVE for one another, not harsh words.

Crusader for Christ Julie

Pastor Deacon Fred,

I thought it was funny that that you ordered the transcript of the Board of Deacons meeting (Feb. 11) be posted on the Internet.

That's very funny. Who cares what color Jesus was "as a man". His Spirit has no color. Jesus is always portrayed in such a beautiful way in every color. Pastor, what if Jesus was black? Does that bother you? Would you still love Jesus? I'm sure you would.

Just for the record, I'm as white as snow, Pastor. I love Jesus no matter what color he was when he was man.

Rev. Thomas -  

Why on earth anybody would wish to share the rantings of madmen such as that nut who wrote an article on demon dogs is beyond the comprehension of decent people! Do not be deceived! My God is not mocked!


Veggie Tales is not Christian!" yelled Pastor Deacon Fred as he burst into the Landover Baptist Baby Jesus Day Care Center last Friday afternoon. He was followed by four deacons who kicked veggie toys out from the hands of youngsters and smashed them to pieces. "Now gather up what's left of that trash and BURN IT!" Deacon Crenshaw told the children

Comment: Are you serious. This is not the proper way for a Pastor to act around children or anyone else for this matter. I would not follow the leading of a pastor that acted this way. I would also question his walk.

Since it's inception, Veggie Tales has been getting rich by lining their pockets with Christian money.

Comment: Oh so Christians are not allowed to make money. Hmmm. I guess I'll quite my job now. The word says that we are to prosper.

could be even more dangerous than Mr. Potato Head since it comes with a "choking hazard" clearly printed on the outside of the box.

Comment: So I guess properly labeling a product is bad.

Now, we're all for getting kids saved and indoctrinated, but some Christian psychologists tell me that the children who watch these videos believe that when they arrive at the Pearly Gates, they'll be greeted by a talking tip of asparagus who will usher them into an eternity run by a giant tomato and a thousand pieces of flying celery. . . and then there's that dancing cucumber.

Comment: I f you would use Veggie tails as a tool and teach your children daily in the ways of the Lord this would not be a problem. Do what the Lord expects and teach your children instead of the tv doing it for you. My children grew up wathing veggie tails and never thought that a Talking vegetable would greet them.

This atricle astounds me and I will be praying for the Landover church and its leaders.

I would love to discuss this with you further. Call or email

Jerry Gerlach
Information Technology Director
City of Biddeford, Maine

You Know when I came across your site at first I was inspired to write back about your false beliefs. Many Christians go out of their way to be Anti Catholic, Protestant, Mormon, and so on-they are missing something- the gifts of the Lord in humility, charity, and being a non-judgemental kind people.

You guys are nuts-I see another cult in your beliefs growing and spreading ignorance. I hope more people open their eyes and God willing their minds to your offensive beliefs.-Who gave you guys the right to decide who is saved and not saved- I know a nondenominational Christian who has lost all his money through gambling, alcohol, and prostitutes while he was married. Once saved always saved- He believes he is going straight to heaven- so like I said- I'll run to your church and give you all of my money then judge and say anything offensive to anybody because I am going straight to heaven.

What I said was the truth and the Christian way of communicating. Now listen the way I will judge you guys in the same manner as you judged my Christian faith so you may understand how offensive you are and yes I will repent and it is up to God to forgive me not your sorry fanatic excuse for a church in

Iowa. You guys are so ignorant at some of the remarks made - I see you guys as fanatical as the KKK who claim to be Christian. I took one look at Mr. Stone and Mr. Harry and understood what assholes you guys were right there. That fat ugly bald man and that man with the demon like smile were more scary than the ignorance they wrote-I could see little red horns growing out of their heads. If you are not brain washed- look at your church- look at your beliefs- while looking at True Christian history and traditian- get out of that brain washed church for a couple of weeks (hopefully you won't be fined) and pray+investigate the truth. May God be with you and your beliefs as offensive as you may be to him -so the understanding of your false beliefs may be seen. God Bless


I'm a little confused. According to Jack Chick's irrefutable "proof", the Catholic church was started by one of the Roman Emporers who felt they were losing the battle to Christians. You say it was started by 2 ex-christian clergy. All of us believers would like to have a unified front against non-believing religions...but this sort of thing makes it tough to get the "facts" straight.


Hello. My name is Kristen and I am not 18 years of age; I am 16. As an American Citizen I reserve the right to voice my opinion. I think this is incredibly ridiculous that you think the Veggie Tales are "evil". I have no idea where and why you would get an idea like that, but you really need to think again. How dare you think that a children's show and a CHRISTIAN show at that, is "evil". Larry is NOT a penis. He is a cucumber. It's not that hard to grasp. Sesame Street has talking animals in it; are they "evil" too? Anyone that thinks that Larry is a penis is sick and demented. I can not believe that a Christian Leader would say such a thing. I have seen every Veggie Tales episode and every Sing-A-Long and never have I ever thought that there were sexual connotations inserted in them. I have a 5-year-old brother and he has learned more from the Veggie Tales than he would in church. The show puts things on a child's level and helps them use their imagination. On the other hand, he could go to church and risk having some demented preacher there filling his head with lies about the Veggie Tales. I attend church every week and never once have I ever heard a sick and disgusting idea come out of my preacher's mouth. We have more things to worry about, the safety of our country for example, than thinking that the Veggie Tales are "evil". I have some Veggie Tales tapes and I own a Larry the CUCUMBER plush stuffed animal and not once have I ever thought anything like what you have thought. I have friends that are not Christians and nothing has ever come into their mind to make fun of them with sexual innuendoes. My brother does not think that when he gets to Heaven that Bob the Tomato will greet him or Alfred the Asparagus, nor do his other friends that watch it. It is utterly ridiculous that someone who has devoted his life to Christ could think of something like that. I think you need to pray about this. Have a nice day and stop trying to mess up people's lives by jumping to conclusions about something that you obviously know nothing about. God Bless.



I recieved a link to your site in my email with a line that said, "recieve Jesus Christ as your personal savior... and get a free PCS digital cell phone!" What are you doing? You are mocking the name of Jesus Christ to sell a product. You people should read your bibles a little bit closer. How do you expect to save people? You say that "the unsaved are unwelcome", well then how are you going to save them. Not by selling a phone! This website should be shut down. I have heard of false witnesses and this is definately what you people are. I cant believe that you have followers. You people preach hate, not christianity. If you believe so strongly in the principles of the holy bible, did you miss the part about LOVE? Nowhere in this site did I see the word love. I would like to know what bible you are reading. Your site condones gambling yet condemns breast feeding, are you people mad!!!! I wish that someone would shut down this "church" and your website. God is not with you people. You are the ones who need to be saved. You are confused and are confusing others about righteousness. I cant believe you people. Who do you serve? If you think you are serving God, I think you need to take a second guess. I pray for you people, because God is nowhere near you.


People like you give good God loving Christians a bad name! Anyone who has read the Bible regularly understands that Christ is love, that he loved all. He died on the cross for the sins of the world not just Landover Baptist Church. Sterilizing babies sounds like something Nazi's would do! Your website preaches hate and I think you will be in for a rude awaking when you find yourselves among the damned. Christ died for the unsaved most of all, not just for the pious! Remember the tale of the Jewish scholar condemming Christ for speaking to a prostitue. What about Mary Magdelene, one of Jesus's closest friends was a prostitue? What Christ was saying was that he had come to a sinful world to die on the cross for the sins of the world that ALL men might be welcomed into the glory of God's fold. I suggest you revisit the Bible and look past your narrow minded, bigoted, self-righteous rantings and consider that hate is the opposite of love. Those that promote hate are of the devil, those that promote love are the sons and daughters of Christ. I will pray for your souls and I hope that God washes away your sins of hate. Wake up! For the time of judgement draws near, the dead will rise to be judged as well as the living. Follow the path of love, extend thy hand to thy neighboor in friendship and kindness. Repent Landover Baptist Church of your evil ways or face the wrath of The LORD ALMIGHTY!

Joseph Petty  

Dear Webmaster/Pastor,

I stumbled on your website this past Sunday night while trying to find some information on Baptist churches in America....I was astonished when I read most of the articles. If this is some sort of joke are sick...God and Christianity should not be portrayed like this...People like myself use the computer for research and believe that Christian people should not be made fun of...or ridiculed...Please reconsider publishing this website..I am ashamed of organizations like yours.

Timothy Hill  
Austin, TX.

dear pastor,

your all sick and twisted and i hope you realize that you all will burn in hell for your blasphomous beliefs. as a follower of god we must realize that god forgives and will not send u to hell for simply using tampons or watching a childrens movie. also a dog is not to be struck over the head because the owner believes there are demons living in the dog. also a demon is not a living breathing creature. it is a sense of being or spirit. evil none the less. but i must ask u a question, why do u hate god? did u have a personal conflict with Him? if so why do u hate him so much to do violence to children and fellow men and women? Why do u hate women? these are the questions i hope you will ask yourselves. so please see the light and realize that you will not go to heaven for your crimes against humanity. and if you are ready for war. i am ready.

shane murdock   

Brother Harry, get on your knees, and pray to your lord and savior for the strength to abstain from cheeseburgers and pizza until the point where you head stops looking like a rump roast that's about to EXPLODE!!!!!!!!


I ran across you site while surfing. Are you for real or a joke? The Pentecostals I know(I am Pentecostal) do not dress like that or go unshaven(women). That sounds ancient! Are you for real?

Trinity Fellowship Church 

Dear Webmaster/Pastor,

I stumbled on your website this past Sunday night while trying to find some information on Baptist churches in America....I was astonished when I read most of the articles. If this is some sort of joke are sick...God and Christianity should not be portrayed like this...People like myself use the computer for research and believe that Christian people should not be made fun of...or ridiculed...Please reconsider publishing this website..I am ashamed of organizations like yours.

Sincerely, Tim Hill
Austin, TX. 

Upon reviewing the article posted on your site, at I became quite confused. Jar Jar Binks, while easily an insult to Star Wars fans, is hardly an agent of the devil. It is a character in a movie (and not even a real actor to accompany). This, being my first attempt at finding worthy "news" on your site, I find the whole thing quite laughable. If you can't come up with more pressing problems in the world than a piece of candy, then you have more important personal issues. Just look at the Catholics (although I prefer not to).

The author's stance on this candy is certainly his opinion, and while I disagree, he is entitled to that opinion. But, if he is going to exercise logic, he must do so across the board, lest he be accused of being corporate-biased. If America should be shocked about Star Wars candy, they should be equally shocked by lollipops, suckers, and the like. I especially liked the inclusion of the quote "Touch not the unclean thing!" With packaging what it is today, I assure you it is quite clean. Unless of course you meant unclean as in "sinful," in which case if this is your intention, I shall immediately call Wal-Mart and have them suspend selling any strawberry that requires placement in the mouth. Or if it is not the strawberry that makes it unclean, please tell me what is -- I would like to help. That way, the ignorant who go and purchase items with their own money that they earned with no help from you, will not be able to unknowingly commit their souls to Hell for eternity.

The "toy" is certainly not something I would purchase, because I dislike the character, but for anyone to claim it has anything to do with sex is ludicrous. I have more reason to say that makeup is just as dangerous: its sole purpose is to attract those of the opposite sex. By allowing young women to wear makeup simply exploits their sexuality. Of course, I do not believe this to be the case, but is simply illustrates my point.

By phrasing the article the way it is worded, the author makes Christians look more and more out-of-synch with the general public, and increases the gap between Christians, who are trying to help humanity, and the people they should be preaching to -- the godless heathens.

Which leads me to bring up a point that is more fundamentally important, so I will leave the sarcasm out of this. The main tagline of your site is "Where the worthwhile Worship. Unsaved Unwelcome." As a Christian of any flavour, the unsaved are those who should be welcomed first. As a pastor of any church, you [should] have the obligation to try to help those who are not saved. By turning them away, you turn them away from Christ and his glory.

My final problem that I have found is your merchandise. Assuming your merchandise is truly available for sale (I don't see anything stating otherwise), I would be insulted greatly. Especially if I was simple enough to be insulted by a piece of candy. Suggesting that Jesus was a hippy, and providing T-Shirts that promote atheism, being "unsaved," and other obvious anti-Christian propaganda is the most absolutely idiotic thing you could do.

If I did not believe otherwise, I would consider your site a spoof on Christianity and its fundamentals because of your backward interpretations of a story and the apparent extreme idiocy. I feel sorrow for your unforgiving, hate-filled soul and hope you see the true light before your time has come. Love, peace, and ignorance forever.

David Carroll  

I was searching the web and came across your site. I am ashamed to call myself a baptist after what I read on your site - "unsaved are not welcome" DIdn't Jesus Comand us to Tell others about Christ? That is what I've always been taught and have read in the Bible. I would think you would want unsaved people to visit your site so that they can see what a Christian is all about - that we do not hate them that we love them and want to see them come to the knowledge that Christ died for them- a sinner. I think you really need to rethink what you put on your site!

Christy Marble 

landover people,

Yall have got to be the stupidest fukking thing i have ever heard of. Santa is the devil??? What kind of bullshit is that. Your site is funny as hell, but based on superstisious bullshit. I hope a fat black Jew rapes you in your ass!!!!!! hahahha You sick bastards,,,, P.S. God told me that shit is false anyways, he said that yall are the FUCKING DEVIL!!!!!!! You only make up that shit because you have no penis. P.S. Tell your wife her pussy stinks.


Dear Baptist,

Remember, no matter how horrid and awful the sin is God's saving grace is for everyone. Your church members and deacons should faithfully pray for Miss Evans salvation. Everything and anything is possible with God.

Love in Christ,
Chas Nicholas