March 2008

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Letters To Landover: Pastor's Mailbag

A Small Sample of e-mails unedited and in original form

Landover Baptist Church;

I saw your website and your beliefs about the Mormons.  Actually, we were created by Lucifer and were supposed to be like Gods ourselves.  The Christian God intervened, and took this from us.  Now, to become like Gods, we must turn to Satan, who will restore this rite to us.  God of the Bible is one of the most evil beings there is.  The Bible is full of accounts of him slautering millions of innocent men, women and children.  The only thing Lucifer is accused of in the Bible is leading people away from God.  Sounds very selfish to me. The Book of Mormon makes a lot more sense.



Excuse me, but whoever wrote this article has got to be the most naive hypocritical and delusioned writer ive ever seen on the net.  First of all who is to say the stories in the Bible are any less fiction than a disney movie.  Secondly, scientists DO NOT believe an evil devil squirrel caused the Ice Age.  Seriously, if youre going to make an argument at least get the opposing facts straight.  Thirdly, the movie is a FICTION movie.  Is your organization implying that all fictious stories are derivatives of satan himself?  Isn't that a bit hypocritical considering that many christians believe the bible is fiction as well, and more than a document of real occurances it is a set of tales to illustrate morals and guidelines to live a life in a happy and ethical way?  

And if this person is having issues explaining to their child that a story is fictitious and not real, then maybe that person needs some lessons in parenting.  They are suggesting readers to LIE to thier children, and to restrict their thoughts by threatening them with fear that Satan will BITE THEIR FEET OFF!!!!!  Now do you think Jesus himself would support this type of behavior.  NO!!!!!  This person knows that Satan is not going to bite their childrens' feet off, and they are manipulating and deceiving them to force a certain set of beliefs on them.  THAT IS WRONG!  

I can't believe you would post this trash on your site.   

You guys are so full of it it makes me SICK!

Matthew Davis

To Whom it May Concern:  

I stumbled upon your website today, and I must admit I am embarrassed for everyone associated with this site. If you do consider yourself a christian, I pray you become more accepting of the people around you, God's own children! No one should be judged in the manner your website has presented and I do hope the Lord opens your eyes to your foolish ways.  

Praying you will inherit common sense,

Jaime Pylant
Case Manager
Easter Seals
The Road Home Program

It must be a hoax, your church can't be as weird and ungodly as your website and your doctrine proclaim.

Please reassure me that this website is some disgusting joke and please admit that you and your church members aren't truly christian.

Brent Henderson

Corporate Communications Consultant

Apex Communications

I am in desperate need of finding religion.  I was raised as a methodist but i decided about 2 years ago that it just wasnt me.  I was unfortunate enough to stumble upon your website and could not of been turned away from religion anymore.  How can you possibly be a pastor and yet have things like why have a black islamic extremeist in the white house.  I can't believe the atrosities that you try teaching your people.  The fact that you try to teach your people and so called beloved followers makes me sick.  if this is your realization of the lord and savior jesus christ then I will be more then glad to spend an eternal damnation in hell.  And since I can not find religion and your church definatly will not help me with that.  So I will be seeing you in hell I'll make sure your seat is reserved right next to all the Fags and Jews that you despise so much.  


Phillip R Baker


The truth is the truth and when you, as a claimed Christian stretch it, and twist it, making someone out to be something they are not, then you personally and collectively will be judged by God.  

Do you really think God needs defended by false statements about humans?  Do you really have such shallow faith as to think twisting reality will further the purposes of God?  Do you lack such faith that you think your rationalizations of making Obama out to be a muslim are required because "you" can thereby help God?

John Lund

Does GOD give you license to call names ("moron," "un-godly," "what would Jesus do" thong, etc?)   Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.  Does your special version of GOD'S WORDS allow you to make such judgements?  And, isn't it HE who would reserve ALL JUDGEMENTS unto himself?  

Your web site pokes more "fun" at Christianity than it's critics can ever throw!  Though I am positive your viewpoint says that there is nothing wrong with what you say or do, let's leave that one with THE LORD JESUS, who will be your final judge.  

"Thong for Jesus?"  What a sick, cruel joke!  Totally defenseless, "pastor!"  For whom do you actually speak (but for yourself?).   

Seems like all the minorities like yours continue to seek to rule.  As a born-again CHRISTIAN, I find your web site quite offensive and not a great reflection upon those who are true believers.  A "true CHRISTIAN" perspective?  According to whom?  Your personal special insights?  Give me a break!  

I will pray that you will spare the rest of the world your un-funny, silly and downright stupid remarks!  "God told me to hate you?"  Where in the Bible does HE say that, and if you can't quote the scripture that has that quote then it's proof you read your own version of the one and only BIBLE.  Jesus preached of LOVE!

Why not get your facts straight before venturing out to do the Devil's work of divide & conquor?  Join hands with the majority of Christians who know that even though you sin when you mis-represent the WORDS of GOD, and be led to the cross to be saved from your ongoing sin!  

Of course, you think I am wrong.  Go take a good look of yourself in a mirror, and when you think you see the reflection of Jesus standing behind you, fall to your knees and thank HIM for saving you in spite of yourself!  Then, do a favor for ALL Christians, and lead them properly in GOD's words; your personal beliefs do not count more than HIS!  

I will pray for you instead of throwing the stones you'd otherwise deserve!

John - Lucky6@ao[last letter extracted].com

I see that you and your congregation recent had a book burning of the Harry Potter books.  I was wondering if there was any video footage of this event and if I could have some footage. 

Thank you -L. McInnis, Jacksonville FL

Red Bull is coke, just marketed different. May be its teen's being teens . They need our prayers ,not some convoluted story about meth in a can.Wake up teens will be teens.Don't put them on pedestals and complain when they fall. Meth in a can, to be honest from one Christian to another.The best you can do, is damage control when it come to teens. 

Berni & Reni

I truly do not know who is the head of your ministry but they have certainly fell on their head.  I am a woman of God and although I believe the bible, I do not believe these answers you have given.  You have picked certain scriptures to justify your woman hating.  I guess all we are good for is having babies and cleaning the house.  The devil is a liar and so are you.  I will not even got into the scriptures to show you how God found women very valuable and said we have the heart of Christ, or where there were women judges, prophetess and evangelist.  Stop it before you destroy the mind set of the women in your ministry, if you have any.  Go back and read your bible again, maybe you were asleep the first time.  a widow should not be depressed, that is a spirit from the devil.  I will send your site to some people so they can know what not to follow.  

And Sister Judy, is that a woman or a man.  If women are to keep silent then why is there a sister Judy and Taffy?  Stop the madness. I Listened to sister Judy concerning her son, God loves her son, he does not like the sin.  He hates the sin but not the sinner, please go back and read your bible.

Donna Jones

My name is Brenda and I could not help but to comment on the article I read about the 11 year old child that was sentenced to have her fingers severed because of a "Brittney Spears Video".  First thing I must say is that a Brittney Spears video would have NOTHING to do with this and second of all this poor child should not have her fingers severed because of luring men into her bedroom.  First an 11 year old child should NOT have a computer in her room and be unattended on that computer so maybe you are looking at the wrong person here.  Maybe we should be looking at thge parents of this child and asking them where the hell they were during all of this and how they could not hear men coming into their home at all hours of the night?  Come on!!!!!  This is the most obserd thing I have ever read and ever heard of in my life and literally it has my blood boiling.  I am a strong believer in God and I truly believe that justice will be served through him and that he will make the right choice as to who was in the wrong and to who was in the right in this situation.


hello, my name is maeghan speed and i was just browsing around the web looking for information for a research paper for my college language arts class when i came across your website. i thought it would be a great place to find the types of things i was looking for until i read this disturbing message:  

PLEASE NOTE: This web page is private and for members of our church who are struggling with VERY serious temptations.  If you found this page, and are not a member of our Godly church, we ask you at this time to respect the privacy of our church members who are seeking our professional help and to kindly leave.  Thank You.  

As a "godly" church, i do not feel it is right for you to make this note about your webpage. people often wonder why the "world" is so turned off by christianity, and this is exactly why. god doesnt want us to hoard his love and wisdom for people who are only within our denomination or who belong to our "godly" church. gods love and wisdom is for all people and to ask someone who may be struggling with the same issues some of your members are going through to leave sends a very wrong message about what a church is supposed to be. im sure you would hate to be responsible for another soul going down the wrong path because they were so turned off by your website that they gave up trying to find help. what if i came to your site seeking help and someone to talk to, but found this message.  

to the pastor of this church, this is not the love of god. i would hate to say that youve got it all wrong, but really...youve got it all wrong. going to seminary doesnt make you god. it just means you went to seminary. you have no right to put that kind of notice on a public website. you are no better than the lowest of all sinners. god created everyone equally and loves everyone equally. god wants everyone to have an oppurtunity to feel his love, not just people who went to seminary or people who are baptist.  

maybe you will overlook this message, or maybe you will think that im going to hell, but maybe, just maybe, i will have had some sort of impact on you to make you re-think this message. maybe something along the lines of "Welcome to the webpage of Landover Baptist Church. Our site is dedicated to the members of our church who may be struggling with temptations in their life, but feel free to look around and take wisdom from wherever you need it. God bless you."  

me personally, i was just looking for info on how the church feels about sex education and abstinence, but i felt so strongly about your little "note" that i had to respond.  

with love in christ for ALL,

maeghan a. speed

You racist redneck freaks. this is disgusting. You're the ones going to hell. god does not tolerate your kind of hate. You ought to have your ass robbed and beat by a black man. Bunch of child molesters.Write another bestslling book Deacon Fred cause when you're sighniong it I'll be there to beat the shit out of you.

Jeremiah Orr

Hello there, I am a fellow Christian and decided to take one of your quizzes about Heaven and Hell.As, I was reading the questions and the answers I began feeling very dissapointed in what you guys have wrote.Your quiz said things such as if you call someone a fool you are determined to spend eternity in hell and I can't help but wonder where that came from. I've read that passage in Mathew and Luke and many others in the New Testament where Jesus says that when you are angry you are in danger on the day of judgment and if you call someone a fool you are in danger of the fires of hell. Jesus did not say that if you do you are surely going to hell, He said we are in danger of it, but He didn't say we would. If He did wouldn't both you and I be in hell? Even if you claim that you never had, you and I both know you've called someone and idiot or some form of fool.You even called me one, for eveytime you get an answer wrong on a quiz you call us a "dumb demon". Doesn't that put you straight to hell? Many other questions followed that example so I began looking around your website.

You say "Glory to God" but do you not see you are bringing dishonor to God Himself? You say that the unsaved are unwelcomed. What kind of church are you? You're teachings are not from God, that is for sure. How can you say that the unsaved are unwelcomed? They are the ones that should be welcomed in first! They need Jesus Christ in their lives and you don't allow them to come in? Doesn't Jesus Christ say to help those in need? Well, do you not say that people that are unsaved aren't in need? They are the ones that need help the most!And you in your stubborness, shut's them out of your unholy Church.Jesus did not command you to do so!He commands you to share the word of God with those in need!  

Your church says that if you ever have pre-maritial marriage, or if you you have the least bit of jealousy or intoxication you are determined to spend eternity in hell. By saying that you say that the gift of Jesus Christ Himself is of no use! Didn't He die for our sins? And aren't those sins? They are, so you're saying that Jesus Christ isn't stronger than our sins.How cursed your teachings are! You speak of others going to hell, when you are walking with Satan Himself! your teachings are not from Jesus Christ. And you call your pastor "Godly". Aren't REAL christians humble? I cannot imagine Peter or Luke or John calling themselves godly and they were of the disciples of Jesus Christ Himself! What are you doing to your church, you are poisining their minds with teachings that come from the devil himself.You call obama black and you call a child white.Jesus Christ wouldnt do that now, would He? And even worse your website is filled with things that say "May God damn you to hell!" is that really what you want?do you want others to be damned to hell? Jesus Christ loves ALL of us, even unbelievers and He wants us to help them come to Him. we ALL sin, we ALL do bad things, does that mean we are all going to hell?NO, it doesn't because the grace of God gives us eternal life in His Glorious Son, Jesus Christ who died for our sins. And by saying that we are going to hell for pre-maritial sex or jealousy is saying that our sins cannot be forgiven and what Jesus Christ did for us is are promoting satan himself!    

You may say that you obey every one of God's commands, but didn't Jesus say that loving others was a new one? you must have very little or none at all to tell others theyre going to hell. Instead, you should HELP others by showing them what is right so that they may not find themselves in the company of satan. Your hearts are so far away from God. Even if you obey every law and every command does that mean you are perfect and cannot go to hell?No, of course it doesnt! SALVATION IS BY GOD'S LOVE AND GOD'S LOVE ALONE.not because He thinks we're good enough.We are ALL not good enough and we should ALL spend eternity with satan but the kindness of God is what keeps us from eternal damnation.Jesus Christ is what keeps us from eternal damnation.What has satan placed in your heads!? Your false teachings will one day be rebuked infront of the Lord, Our God.Don't believe me?Your stubborness in refusing to accept what i am saying is proof! You cursed ones, be greatful that the Lord Jesus Christ loves you and will forgive you of your teachings. Turn your hearts to Him. You may obey His commands, but your hearts are far away.Therefore, what good is that?  

  I hope you find you way back to the Lord, your christian sister

Dear Pastor   Is your site a joke? I came accidently on your site while searching for twin-towers and from what I read is that you take delight in knowing that sinners will go to hell which is downright mental derangement. You are recommending that women who have menstruation sit in a hotel closet upright for 7 days and you are advising people if they are or not prophets. So ... is this site a mockery or are you really serious?  

The everburning in hell,


Dear Pastor, I'm a new gamer but apparently a good one! Level 45 Priest. Looking for guild. Please whisper me today. Sincerely,

through Him,


That a case has been opened against “”. The main charge in this case is Slander, since the website claims to be of denominational Christianity and misrepresents the views of the organization. Multiple complaints have been forwarded and are in the exploratory phase at the moment.   This email is an advisory.   If you have any questions regarding this suit, contact the Conservatives For Action organization at hand of grace []

Hello, My name is Nathan and I'm a homosexual male from London, England.  

From looking through your website, I see you have no respect or love for your wives or children or anyone other than youselves.  

In your latest newsletter, you published an article on what a woman should do during her peak times in the mentsrual cycle. It's ridiculous. What part of being on a period makes a woman unclean? Sure, I may be gay, but I know that every woman has to menstruate so why are they unclean? You are calling God's own natural system, 'unclean'.  

I've read all your articles regarding homosexuality. It's obvious I'm against that... so there's no need to go into it. Let me just say one thing: Your gay handshake is totally made up. We shake hands like any other man, Straight, Bisexual and Homosexual. We don't act different from other men either. (Only the annoying ones). But even if we did, no reason to discriminate us.  

You judge people all the time when it is not your job to. That is the Lord's job. Whether God wants to send me to hell or not is none of your business. So practise your own beliefs as long as you do not harm others in the process. The Bible preaches respect, and love. It seems that you are not obeying the words of your own Holy-Book.    

Best Regards,

Nathan - Zazie Rainyday

I am submitting my son Michael in prayer. He has married somone very evil who continually plays psycological games and hurts him. He is saved and she claims to have been, but she has devastated and destroyed his young life. She is a hypocrite and she has added evil to his life. He wants his marraige to work and he is in trouble financially emotionally, spiritually, emotionally, and now legally ,because of this low life who I pray for forgiveness not to hate her. I submit my son through Christ his Saviour to restore his young life and for God to intervene and  to send him a good Christian wife---or to completely cleanse the one he has. God bless you and thank you

Mrx. Hilda Zoutendijk





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