A Small Sample of Landover Baptist Mail Received September 2005  (unedited and in original form)

What is wrong with you people? I mean seriously? Thank god religious officials don't make anything up, or else we'd be in trouble. Your all lying scumbags, religion is nothing but a false name for communism. You do nothing good for people, except give them false hope and form the bible to fit your purpose. I feel sorry for all the feeble minded people and children that you brainwash. Your no better than a cult. Alright, lets go through the list of lies:

1. World of Warcraft has nothing nefarious in its game content. There is nothing related to"killing and burying parents who say no" in this game.

2. iPod Mini; How can you stereotype all music by one genere? Music is ment to relax, not to express hatred for your Religion.

3. Leap Start Learning Table is ment to educate children and apply simple motor skills. There is no "christ-hating" involved here. I mean sure, we all wish the children of America would all be Babtist preachers, but, I'm sure children would prefer to be educated, not blinded by religion.

4. The Grinch Doll; "one in every 200 is equipped with a tiny green penis, which is clearly a "dildo" intended to be used on small household pets and insects". Need I say more? Your the ones thinking of the stuff, making it up, and publishing it. Your the perverted thinkers. If this doll had a "dildo", it wouldn't be on the market.

5. Aquapets; I must refer to my remark about 'The Grinch Doll', your the ones thinking of the stuff, making it up, and publishing it. How many pre-teen girls mastrubate anyways? How many pre-teen sluts are there? ... Theres nothing satanic about.. batteries?

6. Tickle Me Elmo; Your sick. Your just sick. This doll does not have "testicals", replace the batteries if its moaning, as the Lord has probably "drained out its satanic powers" to make it moan, and it's practically impossible for this toy to squirt out "warm yogurt". First off, it would have to have a pouch to store it in. Second off, it would have to have some sort of heating system to keep it warm. Oh, and big surprise, theres neither.

7. Sponge Bob Square Pants; Alright, I'll give you this one. I personally am not a large fan of this sick, stupid, and pointless humor, if you can even call it that.

8. Homo-Robo-Sapian; If I could say anything else, I wouldn't. Your sick. Your the ones thinking of the stuff, making it up, and publishing it. YOU ARE THE PERVERTED THINKERS.

Brandon Henrie


You have got to be kidding me!!!! don't you guys have any thing better to do with your time? My wife and I have been married for 12 years and are very happy we are both Christians and both have put Christ first in our life but for you to say that 2 married people performing oral sex on each other is a sin is just ridicules. My wife and I both enjoy giving and receiving oral sex and I think god wants us to enjoy sex as a married couple. just thought I would tell you guys to work on bringing people to the lord not turn them away with your ridicules stories Thanks

-Kyle Bond


I just looked over site, and I do have to admit ther has been A LOT of thought put into it. A lot of buulsit thought from you and your other narrow mineded biggots who are so called religious. I am sure if you were comfterable enough to come out of the cloest yourself (you are obviosly gay because you refere to homosexuality A LOT), it would ease your mind and some of your pain. You seem to think that hate is a virtue of God. As we all know God ( no matter what your religion is) does not Hate. You must be servents of Satan himself. And as for Jesus, he was a skitophrenic man walking around aimlessly with no purpose at all. He was dilusional. Dinosuars are a proven fact, so that means ther is no way you could possibley be correct with you BIBLE. If you would stop criticising everything, you may auctually enjoy life. Quit being so racist and and FUCKING RETARDED. Get your head out of your ASS!!!

Michelle Shaw


Hello. This email is regarding Rev. Mitch Walker. I was wondering if it is possible to speak with Rev. Walker about his methods on demon hunting. I am currently in the process of studying demonology to better understand what evils are really out there in this world. Please write back if there is any possibility that I may speak with him in person. Also I was wondering where your church is located so that I may come in person one day to properly introduce myself.

Thank you

John Oh


This is going quite over the edge don’t you think. You are infringing on other peoples rights I hope you know. You are too closed minded to see that all people do not believe in what you believe in. This is America if you don’t like how we do thing around here go to Iraq with the rest of the morons of the world. To be honest if some women attacked me in the drug store for buying tampons I would own your damn church. Open your minds and give a little consideration. This is a free land with a right to honor what ever god you please. No one religion is right here and you don’t need to be forcing yours on people. You don’t see me yelling and screaming Every Christmas about you cutting down trees. Would god really want you killing one of it creations just to hang things on and throw it away a week later? Think about what you are doing and the next you do it. If you do decide you must go and yell at girls in the drug store for buys tampons. You better pray that girl is not me because I have rights and a lawyer. I would happily see you in court.

Thank u,

Natalie Williams

P.S. Have a nice fucking day.

I cannot believe anyone with a hint of moral fibre could possibly support or host such a site. Be it your description of how to treat supposedly "damned" children, your messages from the deceased Pope or what have you, I find you to be so revolting I feel like simply sending this email causes me to be in need of another confession. As a deeply religous individual I sincerily hope no innocent minds happen to come across you site and have their view of all real churches corrupted. It is not only that. You attack what has clearly shown to be the majority of Americans, that is Republicans and Concervatives. You make those who only wish to preserve what good is left in the best country in the world into monsters lacking in souls or honour. All of your portrayals of George Bush, the great leader, or other members of the Republican party are sick twisted and untrue. I refuse to believe such a religous man could do or say the things you describe. I hope my letter has shown you the error of your way, you poor lost souls.

In hopefulness, James Dickenson, Washington D.C.


the article about the canadian lady being expelled from your church , is the biggest pile of shit ive ever read on the internet . go fuck yourself --

Alex Diver


hi iam a mother with very low income, i live in waterloo, iowa and have two wonderful boys and one on the way i heard there was a program that someone could adopt your family for christmas i just want them to have a little of something for christmas.. i cant afford it this year with the baby coming and my check barley pays for our bills. can you help me find a program like this? i gratefully appreciate it from a worried mother, marsha

Marsha Kayparmely


I hope Betty Bowers is really not proclaiming to be a true christian. The Bible tells us not to judge. Her foul Language and her publicly judgemental ways make her no better than the crackwhores, sluts and homos. that she openly down grades obsessively. I pray that she will soon realize that these people are human beings created by god who need to hear and know the gospel not to be pointed at and pushed further into a word of ungodly ways. I guess that is totally acceptable for someone like her who thinks you can but your way into heaven. Quit using the unfortunate to get rich and start praying. It must be hard to sleep at night knowing that you are no better than those you criticize.

Jarrett Strong


Dear "Pastor", I just had a few questions about your web site.

1. I was reading your article about "The Corpse Bride" and you said that the church was conducting tests and research on necrophilia. You had mentioned that grave stones and graves were dug up for this research. Why? Why not let the dead rest? Oh! I know!! Maybe that copy that was sent to you got you all excited and you just had to get out there and fuck the corpse of your dead mother or something... anyway. I saw "The Corpse Bride" and it was good. Its a love story not a way to start a necro cult.

2. Why do you have a section on "Why did jesus have long hair like a homo?". Are homos not people? What are you trying to tell the next generation? Hate everyone thats not you because jesus said so!

Those are my two questions. You know, Give me the definition of "Worthwhile People". I am very agnostic. I don't believe in god or anything, but i do believe you are very unworthy. How can you sit there and put down human beings? You sir are a satinist in my eyes.

Brendon Tavenaw


Hello, My name is Justin Lugbill and I am an independent Zondervan bible distributor. I do not know your current situation with buying resources, but thought that you should be informed that through my business, you are able to purchase bibles for up to 50% off of what you would pay retail. If you are interested, feel free to contact me at this e-mail address or check out the link below (while this is not my main website, it is the easiest means of distribution). Thank you and God bless.

Justin Lugbill


Hello, my name is Patricia Toler and I am a Christian, have to several different churches in my life and was baptised a Southern Baptist. I was ready your article about the unsaved while doing a college research project on religion. I am troubled by your belief. Isn't the unsaved the reason for Jesus dieing on the cross to repent for all of our sins. That everyone including you and I were born sinners. Jesus gave people second chances. I believe that is why we are on this earth; when we make a mistake we can ask for forgiveness. The best of Christians sin, even if it is a minor sin, or a mistake of anger. Lastly I feel God's intention for Churches was to welcome even the lowest people on the earth like Jesus did. We are not suppose to take the bible to justify ourselves when we are hypocrits. Thank you for your time I would love to hear back on this. Thank you and God Bless

Patricia Toler


This email is in response to the "corpse bride" review or bashing. I saw the corpse bride and I find it hard to believe that one would walk away from the film thinking that it promotes sex with dead people. I was also quite disturbed that a Christian fellow would write that if one does not see it as such, then one does not look through the eyes of Jesus and are "blind as those dirty birds we call bats". If you look past the obvious satire of the idea that "love conquers all" than you see a fairly elementary movie about someone who is willing to seek after love --even if it means battling obstacles in a fictitious "death" setting. As a christian brother, I write this email not as a complaint, or a mockery but out of grave curiousity. If we are to judge things so severely it would be quite impossible to show the compassion and mercy that Christ bestows to us everyday. I would also like to mention this quote found in the Wiccan article... "From what we can gather, like Jewish people, Wiccans kidnap Christian children and drink their blood to seal their commitment to Satan."... I do not understand what promotes such racist and hateful remarks but I would love to have a return email about this quote.

Always in Christ,

- John


Hello:

A friend recently sent me a copy of your church's website, which included your article on the hurricane's devestatition and destruction. I feel compelled to inform you that your narrow and authoritarian thoughts on this national crisis convey a harsh and hardened view of God's attitude and activities in our society. The residual impact of your piece is as damaging to the cause of Christ as the forces of the storm were to the cities and communities affected by the flooding and winds. I think persons like yourself, and those who share your views and support your efforts, are one of the major stumbling blocks to sincere individuals succeeding in sharing the Grace and Mercy of the One True and Righteous God who longs for the reconciliation of lost souls. Judgement IS COMING, and at times, God does give indication of His displeasure by acting in the present day events, but your simplistic and myopic perspective portrays Him in a most callous and vengeful manner. In my 30+ years of faith life, and my 25+ years of full time ministry service, I have never understood the gleeful anticipation of "divine judgement" espoused by persons like yourself. If these woeful characters are going to suffer eternal punishment for the judgement of their sins, and I believe the Scriptures clearly teach that they will, then why would "the God of ALL compassion" rush the penalty by taking sporadic potshots of punishment in the here and now? If your perspective allowed for the slightest measure of redemptive intentions, you might have a leg to stand on, but I can find NO redeeming opportunity in your words. If I were a lost soul, and if the hurricane destroyed my home, family and future, I would count myself doubly cursed! With your presentation, the LAST THING I would be inclined to do is call out for mercy and grace from the One who was whacking on me in the first place. Instead of turning to Him in time of need, I'd be inclined to Run From Him in fear and terror.

We who have been touched by His Love and changed by His Spirit have the wonderful and awesome priviledge of inviting others to find the TRUTH He gives away FREELY and the JOY He shares with those who are covered in His Love. As one of the ransomed and redeemed, I take exception to your opinions. Assuming to speak for God and offering such limited assessments of His intentions and activities is a grave miscarriage of the "Great Commission", and a gross over stepping of your pulpit calling and duties. If more self-appointed spokespersons would prayerfully and carefully consider the content of their words and the impact of their declarations, then the rest of us struggling soujouiners would not have to devote so much time and energy correction and clarifying misconceptions and misunderstandings. Please keep YOUR God and YOUR worldview with you and yours in Landover. Your message is not simply falling on deaf ears, its crashing down on wounded hearts and causing grievious damage to those who might be positioned for the Holy Spirit to bring the TRUTH of the Savior's Love. I am disappointed and discouraged by ministries devoted to denouncing the downward spiral of our decadent and depraved society. I would much prefer to be counted among the minority of BELIEVERS who cherish their experience in Christ and relish the opportunity to DEMONSTRATE the power of His redemptive love by serving and sacrificing to those still trapped in sin. Judgement is coming...but in the meantime, it's the coming of love and forgiveness that heralds the arrival of HIS KINGDOM and HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS. Would to God that more of HIM and less of YOU came through your efforts and activities. I know that I for one would be relieved of the challenging task of correcting and clarifying the mis-truths you pervey, and I could devote my energies to the pleasure of BEING THE TRUTH instead of merely talking about the truth...

joshua cermenelli

pastor and teacher


I accidentally got on your web-site by a Google search that I did. I am a CHRISTIAN AND PROUD OF IT!! I feel very sorry for you that you don't have a life other than to put smut on the computer such as this. I have the GREAT assurance where I will be for eternity. I hope you enjoy yours because I know where you will be and don't forget the sun block not that it will help. I hear it gets very very HOT where you will be. Also one final note. I am a SOUTERN BAPTIST and you better learn some things before you go putting things on the internet that you don't even know about. OH...You don't have to ship my playstation I already have one. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING MY FAITH STONGER THAN EVER!!! How will I ever repay you? PROUD CHRISTIAN

Tracie (from Tennessee)


WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???? Your website is soooooo off base on how to discipline a child. How can you consider yourself a pastor?? Yes I do agree with discipline (and even spanking as a form of disicpline) BUT NEVER the way that you described it on the "Godly Tips on How to Punish and Beat Your Christian Child". Don't get me wrong, I am a woman of the Lord and VERY christian, but I hope you go to hell for having this on your site. Honestly, I wouldn't doubt for one second if you are one of the pastors that sexually abuse children too!!

Michelle Hagen

A REAL CHRISTIAN


How could a house of god become so far off track.....Jesus loves everyone..Even homosexuals and the unsaved...Please tell me how u became so far off track...And please tell me how you plan on bringing those adrift in the world in by condeming them.

Jeanie Luken


I hope you get paid by the # of lies you tell. If so you should be a millionair by now. You'd better hope you've shunned away the holy spirit forever because of your lies because if it ever comes your way you are going to lose your congregation of idiots. Why can't you people just teach about Christ and leave all the other religions alone? I can't think of one time Christ lied about another religion, person, sect, or anything else. Way to lead your followers closer to the savior, Bravo! Get a life, get a job, and get a clue!!

Sincerely, a real Christian.

Nichole Petersen


Found about your so called church, you guys are the sickest people ive ever read about. God does not condone killing of people, he loves believers and nonbelievers alike. I wonder were you guys are getting your bibles at? Sure not the words of GOD. Also, what the victims of katrina need are food and housing now, as well as bibles.

Shirley Corey


Your policies on the "Unsaved" are unholy and blasphemy. Jesus preached that the second greatest commandment of the Lord was to love your neighbor as you would love YOURSELF.

I will pray for your souls as I feel you have been blinded by Satan. Jesus taught to help Him save mankind. Casting away people does not help that mission.

God forgive this website. It was written by the Devil himself.

Joshua M Skains


B.A.S.H Ministries? Oh, so you think your hateful descrimination is funny do you? Hahahaha. WELL, FUCK YOU!!! SAVE THAT WHY DONT YOU!! I am gay and don't need salvation or anything else from you!!

J.L. Teale