Edwin Thorndike is the leading Research Analyst in Landover Baptist's International
Creation Science Museum and Laboratory. Working in conjunction with Dr.
Neiman, Dr. Thorndike has tackled many outstanding scientific issues within
the church. His recent essay on Pre-Post-and Mid-Umbilicism (the three
important positions on the question of Adam's belly-button) has won him
critical acclaim in many circles.
Dr Thorndike, amazingly, has come to 'Know The Lord' solely through
a delicate process of intellectual reasoning. He has leaped beyond faith
into pure mental deduction. He is convinced of his eternal security because
of a unique and Divinely Inspired mathematical process. The Godly
equation is based on intellectual Baptist fact, and therefore has no need
whatsoever of any faith whatsoever. Only Dr. Thorndike understands the
equation, and church members believe this 'English Gentleman of Anglican
descent' is far beyond the spiritual evolution of the common man.
Pastor Smith jokes, "It is because of Edwin's absolute 'assurance of
salvation without a born-again experience' that he is officially declared
'Emergency Pastor.'" He then added, "Should anyone be left behind come
rapture time, assuredly, Dr. Thorndike will remain to attend to their needs."