1st Class Christianity
3 Years ago, Swami Sri arrived at Landover Baptist Church in the suitcase of Missionary Helmut Funk. Msry. Funk had been traveling extensively throughout India (a tiny, mostly Christian nation near sparsely populated, China). In his travels he discovered a young man by the name of Swami Sri. The Swami had many questions about the Baptist faith, and he had many things to say about his own Satanic faith in the god, "Hindu."

Msry. Funk and Swami Sri came to a compromise during a 9 month sojourn in the desert region of Kunbali. Swami agreed to accept Jesus Christ
as his Lord and Personal Savior if Msry. Funk would bring him to the United States. Since the Swami was a practitioner of the Devil's art, he was able to fold his body into Helmut's 3 x 3 ft. suitcase, and survive there for over 7 days.

When Swami arrived at Landover Baptist, he was taken to see Dr. Jonathan Edwards in the church basement.  Dr. Edwards moved to have the Swami locked up and beaten with an oak branch until he got his theology straightened out.  After three days in Christian Confinement, the Swami

His body was found by church members who had accidentally stoned him to death.  As it turns out, the Swami was not actually dead, but in the midst of some demonic yoga trance where it just looked like he was dead. After he revived himself, he claimed to be invigorated with new life.

The Swami later revealed that he was Prince Sri of Gahuéni India.  He was worth millions of dollars. Pastor Smith let the Swami know that if he wanted to remain in the United States of America, it might be a good idea to tithe the better part of his fortune to the Landover Baptist Church. The Swami agreed.  The only stipulation would be that he would be set free to meditate and pray anywhere on the Landover Baptist Campus.

The terms were agreed to, and all members informed. Swami Sri became a Major Donor, and at any given time or place, members might see him.. half clothed, body folded into some demonic position, meditating (we hope) on the saving Grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ. 

Mr. & Mrs. Robert A. Bowers IX.
Dr. & Mrs. Ed Bradley Sr.
Dr. Carl Witherspoon
Mr. & Mrs. Alvin Carthwright
Mr. Gilly MacDougall
Dr. & Mrs. Edwin Bath Devonshire III
Swami Sri
Mr. & Mrs. Albert Murrow Jr.
Mr. & Mrs. William Dickens Durant Sr. IV
Roger Hargraves
Mr. & Mrs. Raymond Bradbury
James Walter Evans
Rev. Kelvin Entwhistle
Dr. Johathan Macmillan Phillips
Mr. & Mrs. Stanford Rice
Mr. & Mrs. Malcolm Cowley
Dr. Alberto Fuget Smith
Widow Hargraves
Renny MacIntire
Mr. & Mrs. John Paul Meinz Watson Clarke
Mr. & Mrs. Boris Hecht
Dr. Otto Bond Sr.
Mr. & Mrs. Navacelle Schaeffer II

All Rights Reserved. Copyright 1999 C.Harper & Americhrist Ltd.