3,000 Horses That Refused to Believe God and Fly Are Now Dead
The Bible holds a vital clue as
to the time of Christ's return. It is right around the same time when
horses will fly. "The time described in Revelation, Chapter 6 might
be this afternoon, so most True Christians® are worried about horses
Gun Misfires During Sermon
At a standing-room-only service
yesterday morning, an earsplitting shotgun blast caused an 18-foot
glass-covered oil painting of the Lord Jesus to break free of its
moorings. The 300-pound painting, which was suspended 40 feet over the....
Sunday Morning Hair Salon!
it comes to Sunday Morning, everything starts with style says Sister
Taffy. Every decent Christian (Baptist) woman knows that beauty is
never found in the eyes of the beholder but only in the Eyes of
God. Unfortunately there are some women, hard as...
Billion In Christian Funds Secured to Develop, "Salvation
Construction has already begun
on Salvation City's own Christian outlet mall, 3 18-hole PGA-certified
golf courses, 4 new chapels with stadium seating and luxury skyboxes,
the first Christian NASCAR racetrack, private jet airport, 4 luxury
hotels, 2 hospitals...
Pound Pastor Preaches From Bed!
"He knows a sinner and is
not afraid to point his finger right in that person's face and tell him
that his life is a mess!" Pastor Deacon Fred noted, "This
Godly man is the ultimate living manifestation of the True American
Golden Plate Christian Casino & Resort: A Landover Baptist
whole thing is just a great opportunity for vacationing Christians to
give a little bit back to Jesus and have a whole heck of a lot of fun
doing it,” laughs Pastor Deacon Fred, the religious genius behind the
concept. “What unsaved...
to New York Times Ad Throws Landover Baptist Church Offline!
Within an hour of those
newspapers leaving their respective presses, millions of Mary-Worshipers
logged onto our church's website to avail themselves of our
"Catholic Catamite Hotline" and qualify for free stun-guns and
Jr. High Gun-Point Salvation Retreat!
Download your child's
permission slip online in PDF format, sign it - and get it to the Youth
Director as quickly as possible....
to School Witnessing Tips For True Christian Students
It's that time of the year
again! True Christian® young people who don't have enough money
to attend Landover Baptist Academy for the Truly Saved will be storming secular
schools across the Nation! Here are some great tips for fighting
Satan on his...
A Wonderful Day to Tell Local Injuns About Jesus!
No group of people
in the United States is more qualified to comment on the savage nature
Injuns than the members of the Landover Baptist Church. Having
arrived in the country that God ordained for us in the year 1612, many
Tips For Holyweeners!
Wait for unsaved children to
come to your door and hurl a bucket full of warm lamb's
blood (goat or dog blood can be substituted later in the night if
you run out) all over their hair and faces. Shout - "I
plead the power of the Blood of the Perfect Lamb...